


Face Reality

by MarvelDreamer



Series: The Sadness of Soldiers (Oneshots) [4]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Abandonment, Adopted Children, Alternate Universe - Wings, Angst, Bad Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Child Abandonment, Creeper Hybrid Sam | Awesamdude, Duck Hybrid Alexis | Quackity, Enderman Hybrid Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Enderman Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Five Stages of Grief, Found Family, Fox Hybrid Floris | Fundy, Hurt/Comfort, Hybrid Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Hybrid TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Lonely TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Multiple Pronouns for Eret (Video Blogging RPF), Nightmares, Niki | Nihachu and Ranboo are Siblings, Older Sibling Niki | Nihachu, Panic Attacks, Parent Sam | Awesamdude, Phil Watson Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Phil Watson-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Prisoner Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Sam | Awesamdude, Ranboo Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tommy has wings, TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit-centric (Video Blogging RPF), purpled fans come get yall juice, reference to past suicide attempt, stay safe all
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:46:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 52,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28878951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarvelDreamer/pseuds/MarvelDreamer
Summary: Ranboo hears something he wasn't meant to, and leaves his little house in the arctic to go back home. When he discovers that 'home' doesn't want him back, though, he has to face the reality that he is just as alone as he always was.As time passes, most of the SMP gives up their search for him, but one person doesn't. They need to hurry, though. The longer he's alone, the more he wonders what there is to live for.Far away from where he's alone in isolation, there grows a place for the abandoned. What will it take for him to find it, if he does? What are the stories of the others who find shelter there?A dysfunctional family with members who all need help- he'll fit right in.
Relationships: Cara | CaptainPuffy & Niki | Nihachu, Floris | Fundy & Ranboo, Niki | Nihachu & Ranboo, Ponk | DropsByPonk/Sam | Awesamdude, Ranboo & Sam | Awesamdude, Ranboo & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Sam | Awesamdude & TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: The Sadness of Soldiers (Oneshots) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2115954
Comments: 351
Kudos: 1752





	1. It's Better This Way (but then why does it hurt?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Really, it was Ranboo’s fault, he figured, because if he hadn’t been so stupid, surely he wouldn’t have clung to a business relationship and blown it out of proportion. It hurt now, but he hoped that the pain would dull. He hoped that now he had gotten away from everyone who he cared about but never cared about him, that he would be able to find peace. 
> 
> It was better this way.
> 
> Then why did it hurt so much?"

His hands were shaking in the cold, or from stress, he couldn’t remember which one. Maybe it was both. His hands were shaking, his head was pounding, and the comfort room that he had built so carefully did nothing.

His pets did their best, but there was nothing to be done. He was too far gone at this point, and the tears welling in his eyes couldn’t be stopped. There was nothing that could be done to stop his breath from becoming faster, there was nothing that could be done to stop the soft endermen warbles from leaving his throat.

Well, maybe one thing. But it was impossible. There was no way that he would be calmed down by anyone, not when he had overheard what they’d said. No one would hear him and hold him in a warm embrace to comfort him, no one would bother to find out just how messed up he was.

No one was going to take the time out of their stupid days to help him. He just wasn’t worth it, in their eyes.

Ranboo buried his face into the fur of his dog, hoping that his tears would be absorbed rather than hurting him. He didn’t want to deal with more than he already was, it would just add unnecessary complications to what he was about to do.

He stayed sitting for a while, admittedly, but once his noises had quieted and his shaky, suppressed sobs had stilled to slight hiccups, He stood up. His legs were unstable, but he walked, leaning against the wall to reach his chests. 

He filled his inventory with as much as he could carry. He left anything that he could easily get again, he got all of his pets standing, and then he clambered up the rickety ladder. It was dark, and only one lone light was on in the cottage that Ranboo stared at longingly. 

_ It’d be so easy to reach out. _

Ranboo started walking towards the cottage, but he didn’t stop. He kept walking towards the portal, only pausing when he heard the telltale sound of a door opening.

“Ranboo, is that you? What are you doing up?”

_ Oh, Phil. _

He didn’t turn around. He didn’t want Phil to see his puffy eyes, his wavering smile. “Oh, I was just going to see if I could find any mobs, get some experience. Chat with some endermen if they don’t get scared. Don’t worry about me!”  It was spoken with such obviously faked cheerfulness that Phil must’ve known he was lying. He had his pets on him, why did he need a parrot to go mob hunting? He didn’t turn around, surely that was suspicious. 

There were so many things wrong with his alibi, but if Phil noticed the hybrid’s voice cracking with sadness, he didn’t say anything. Why would he? He just gave an “Okay.” and shut the door softly.

Ranboo let out the sob that he had been holding in, stumbling forward and away from his  ~~ home ~~ house. He could find a nice place, rebuild. Find peace.

Then why was he so sad? Was it because he had thought he had finally found people that cared about him? Was it because he had thought that he could finally be himself, and not hide who he was? Was it because all of his hopes amounted to nothing, only serving to crush him more? Was it because, with all of the people in this forsaken land, he was still lonely?

He remembered to take a deep breath, although it was probably closer to a sharp inhale, as he trudged through the snow and to the shimmering portal to the Nether.

He didn’t know what it was, but something in him made the Nether seem so unappealing that he just sat in the snow for a little, thinking. It would be dangerous for his pets, and he didn’t want anything to happen to them...  At the end of his train of thought, Ranboo gathered his pets and started walking to the coast. He didn’t know why, until he was staring down through the water at the stone of a Fortress.

Should he?

It was with startling clarity, then, that he remembered what his people had said to him when he wanted to reach the overworld. 

_ “You can go, if you so wish, but it is a land of evil. You will find no comfort there. You will come back to us, crying, and will know that we were right. You can go, but be prepared to be faced with nothing but sorrow and pain. Do you want to go, child? Then go, but never come back. We will no longer want you here. We will have nothing to offer but a turned side.” _

As Ranboo stood in the sand, looking down, he pondered on those words. Would they accept him if he pleaded long enough? If he cried enough? Would he find peace in the land that he had been so eager to leave as a naive child, only to discover that  the way back was sealed?

He remembered the fear that he had felt knowing that the choice was permanent back then, but would it be now? This wasn’t the same place he had emerged.

He made a split-second decision, diving under the surface and ignoring the stinging of the water on his face that made him wince. He landed on the cracked stone, not surprised that there were torches everywhere. What did he expect- humans to not meddle in business that wasn’t theirs? To leave what was peaceful alone? Not the humans he knew. No, they only knew war and manipulation.

He wandered the halls, looking for the portal, patting his pets occasionally as they followed him. He almost wanted to leave them here, but he couldn’t ensure their safety. Not with humans. They were better off with him.

Ranboo almost laughed at that. Nothing was better off with him.

Eventually, he found the portal. It was in a room that had clearly already been found, but the portal wasn’t lit. The space in the middle was filled in, and it looked like someone was using it as a table. It was a good thing he knew who, but his heart still burned with rage at something so important being disrespected and demoted to something as domestic as a table. 

Time passed in a way that he couldn’t quite grasp, but at some point in his contemplation on whether it was worth it, he heard a noise from the hallway. He didn’t move, because he figured he knew who it was.

He was wrong, of course. Just like he always was.

That didn’t mean he had no clue who the being was when he turned to look. He had seen this god, many years ago when he was a child.

“You want to go back?” The voice wasn’t natural, but it seemed similar to the one that haunted him in his darkest moments.

“I’m thinking about it.” Ranboo responded, sitting down on the cold floor.

“You realize you need me to light it? How were you going to get there?”

A heavy sigh passed through the hybrid that looked so small there, on the stone. “I was going to cross that bridge when I got to it.”

It was quiet, but the deity took pity on the child. “I’ll do it.”

“What?”

“I’ll light the portal for you. Help you get back. I can’t promise they’ll accept you back, and I’ll have to close it once you’re gone, but I’ll help you.”

Ranboo scoffed. “Don’t try to be all buddy-buddy with me. I’ve got nothing left to offer back for it.”

It grew dark, as if the being was sucking light from the nearest sources. The black aura around it grew, as its wings fanned out. “Don’t mistake my duties for kindness. You got out, I’m getting you back in. You are going to be just as alone in there as you are out here, it makes no difference to me.”

“Maybe it’ll hurt less in there.” Ranboo whispered. Then, “Light it.”

In a split second, it was done. The black expanse of starry night beckoned him, so Ranboo stepped up to it. Before he entered it, though, the god spoke again.

“If they come looking for you, I’ll let them in. Maybe you need someone to find you, show you they care.”

As Ranboo ushered his pets into the portal, he straightened to his full height and stared the deity in the eyes, ignoring the sudden urge to attack. “Don’t bother. They’ll never look for me.”

And, just like that, he was gone. 

The god gave a slight chuckle as he moved to put the portal back to as it was, only the ominous purple particles giving any clue as to what had just happened. “I don’t know what they’re doing to these kids, but it’s a good storyline. Maybe the script’ll be even more angsty. Ranboo is carrying that, though. Maybe they won’t even use Pandora’s Vault- but you never know.”

And, just like that, it was quiet in the tundra again, the first hints of dawn clinging to the skies. In the distance, a shack lay abandoned, and the people in the cottage slept peacefully. They didn’t know why, but their dreams that night were of a land with pitch-black skies and flying cities. 

They spared it no thought. It was just a dream.

______________________________________

  
  


Ranboo emerged from the portal, and was greeted with silence, just as it was with the silence of the snow. His soul felt torn, part of it glad to be back, one hating it.  He held his head high as he carried his pets to find his old home. Maybe they hadn’t destroyed it, yet. Maybe they had so little faith in him that they knew he’d be back.

The island he was on seemed so... dead. Empty. No endermen were there. 

Ranboo pushed down the feeling of unease that he had. Now was no time for being sick. Not when he needed to travel over the void.  He found the hidden pathways that all the inhabitants of the End used, feet moving almost mechanically as he found the city he needed. His old home. 

When he entered the old house that he had been given, off the side of one of the bigger buildings, he was greeted by one enderman. He was startled by the sudden interaction, but then the other started talking.

“Hello, child. We knew you would be back. You’re later than the books said you would be, though.”

The garbled speech surprised Ranboo, and he struggled to remember the tongue that he had once been so fluent in.

“I am. Where is everyone?”

The enderman gave a short little scoff. “Gone. Packing. We’re leaving the city. We knew you’d be back and want no part in it. You’ve fallen far, child. You have forgotten our language, you embraced the overworld as your own, you smell of humans. We said that we would not accept you back, and you dared test that? You are on your own, and have searched for comfort in the wrong place,  _ hybrid _ .”

The way that that word had been spoken hurt Ranboo, as if he wasn’t worth as much because of his heritage. He kept his tears at bay, getting his pets to sit down in their new spots.

He didn’t register the enderman teleporting away, but when he stepped into the city he got no comforting welcome, he got no pitied hugs, no one offered him words of advice. They all walked past him, humming, as if they didn’t see him. As if he didn’t matter. As if he was invisible to them as they abandoned their life-long homes to get away from him. No arms circled around him to hold him as he broke, no one gave him the attention that he needed so badly, that he had traveled so far to try and find.

It was then that the tears fell again, finding a new path down his face as the old ones had scabbed over. They burned him, but it didn’t matter. He was even more alone now.

“Please,” He cried. “Please, I’m sorry. Please, I just want a home.”

There was no answer to be spared for the boy.

“Please, I’ll be good, I’ll be quiet, I’ll gather stuff for you. Please, I just want someone,  _ please-" _

There was no one to respond to his call.

“Please,” He warbled, letting the enderman part of him come out more. “Please, just answer me.”

There was no change in the crowd of lanky, black bodies that gave him a large berth. There was no comfort to be found in those long arms. There was no love in the screeches.

The sobs that racked his body didn’t stop for hours and hours, maybe more, because the sky was no good judgement of time. It was just a dark expanse, almost as unwelcoming as all of the failed versions of family that Ranboo had searched for.

When he looked up next, the city was abandoned for good. It was just him, alone, with no one but his pets to cling to for sanity.

He stayed sitting on the vaguely dusty ground for a while, numb. He’d lost three homes, in just a few days.

As much as he wanted to beg to go back, beg on his knees that he was wrong, beg and plead and hope that someone took pity on him, He knew he couldn’t. He knew he didn’t belong where the sky moved and had colors, he knew that no one would take pity on him, he knew that no one actually cared for him. 

He had to face reality. No one cared for him, they only used him for as long as he could provide something to them, no matter how many things he gave, no matter how many times he searched for even a semblance of a family.

As he trudged back to his small little house and tried to sleep, hoping his dreams would take him far away from where he was, or better yet not even wake up, he was only haunted by the words that had caused this whole thing in the first place.

He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop. He really didn’t, but as usual, he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

_________________

_ “So, now that we have a base and we have a plan, who are we going to invite to join us?” That gruff voice was Techno.  _

_ Base? Wasn’t their base just their cottage? They had another one? _

_ A softer voice. Phil. “Maybe Niki? She seems pretty against L’manburg now.” _

_ Techno scoffed. “She’s making some land with Fundy, I think. We’ll have to see how that plays out, keep an eye on them. My voices are saying Ranboo, what do you think about that, Phil?” _

_ “Ranboo could be a good choice. We’ve been kind to him, and he’s useful with all of the gifts he’s been giving us. The memory issues might be a problem, though.” _

_ The pig hybrid hummed, before speaking again, “Wait, we could use it to our advantage! Tell him he’s part of it, get him to go feral on whoever we need him to, drop him off at his little shack, and he forgets. It leaves us clear of the blame, it’s perfect!” _

_ Ranboo felt as if all of the air had been knocked out of his lungs. Techno wanted to get him to join their… whatever, and get him to be violent? Phil would refute it. He had to. _

_ “Hmm, maybe.” Phil said. NO, Phil, no, please, don’t agree- “Actually, yeah, that could work really well. He’s got ties with Tubbo, ties with Dream. He can get in places that don’t trust us. Plus, if he keeps giving us gifts, it’s definitely worth keeping him around. Large profit.” _

_ They laughed a bit, and Ranboo slid down the door that he almost opened before catching wind of their voices. He pulled his knees to his chest, ears still picking up their conversation no matter how much pressure his hands put on them.  _

_ “The only problem is I hope he doesn’t get attached. He’s had a rough time, but I’m not sure he’s aware that this is a professional relationship to benefit each other, not a familial one.”  _

_ At those words, Ranboo stood up, and teleported to his comfort room. It had been a while since he lost control of his teleportation, but he couldn’t help it. He didn’t even register which one said that. _

_ He had thought that this was his chance, his hope for a life that didn’t kick him down all the time. He guessed not, though, if he was nothing but a means to an end, a money giver, a source of information and nothing else. _

_ __________________ _

He needed to face reality. Phil wasn’t a good father to his other sons, what made him think that he would be a good one to him? Techno wasn’t a brother, he only cared about anarchy, and if Ranboo was the way to get it, why would he mind housing the hybrid?

Really, it was Ranboo’s fault, he figured, because if he hadn’t been so stupid, surely he wouldn’t have clung to a business relationship and blown it out of proportion. It hurt now, but he hoped that the pain would dull. He hoped that now he had gotten away from everyone who he cared about but never cared about him, that he would be able to find peace. 

He didn’t expect to have to find it alone, on a floating island surrounded by nothing but darkness, with nothing but his fading memory and a vague sense of direction connecting him to the family that never saw him as more than a weapon.

It was better this way.

Then why did it hurt so much?


	2. Maybe [redacted] Doesn't Want To Be Found (then why does he want it all back?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Techno thinks he's been betrayed again, and hides his feelings. Tommy thinks that in his haste to save one friend, he lost another, and hides his big secret. Niki thinks he's gone and hides her grief. Tubbo thinks he'll return, and hides his need for comfort. Fundy thinks he's better off gone, and hides his rage.
> 
> Some of them are wrong, some get discovered, but the more time passes, the Dream SMP starts to think that Tommy may be right. They all accept it. Tommy doesn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAy not AS angsty. even a lil fluff that you can thank my sister for

**_[redacted] just earned the achievement: The End?_ **

The message went forgotten in the night, fading away into the chat, only to be covered by the conversations of the morning. In the Arctic, though the two slept and dreamt of the land that their lost third had gone, they thought nothing of it. To them, it was just a dream. There was nothing to say about it, because to them, dreams were natural.

It never occurred to them that the dream was more an unconscious cry for help, and it never made them wonder who sent it. Maybe it never would.

The sun rose, shining onto the snow in hues of rose pink and orange as the animals began to wake, and in the cottage that had been so cheerful the day before, one inhabitant got up before the other.  The man that was awake was clothed in green, and he moved slowly as he waited for the exhaustion to leave his body. Perhaps he made a cup of tea, or maybe he sat down to read. Either way, it took him a while to make it out of the house.

When he did leave to brave the snow, it wasn’t with the intention to check on the teenage hybrid, but to make sure that the honey farm was working.  It was only the distressed call of the enderman that Ranboo had caught that made him look over to the small shack.

Nothing looked out of place, but with a frown, he wandered over. After Edward had died, he missed the enderman’s presence. 

He didn’t even notice that the lump in the bed wasn’t a child. He didn’t notice the lack of hay in the corner. He didn’t notice that the pets were gone. He didn’t notice that there was no set of returning footprints. 

Philza made his rounds through all of the farms and returned to the cottage, letting out a huff of relief at the heat. He raised his head as he took off his cloak, meeting the gaze of his son who must have gotten up at some point while he was out. 

“Cold?” Techno asked, smiling.

“You bet, it’s colder than that one journey we did for the empire. You know, the one where we had to camp in the snow for a week?”

Techno nodded, and they were quiet as they mused on past memories. They couldn’t decide if those were better times, or if perhaps they had just changed.

The day continued, slow and relaxed, and was spent mainly conversing with villagers. They didn’t leave the building, but at some point in the late afternoon, Philza turned to Technoblade with a puzzled look on his face.

“Hey, I haven’t heard from Ranboo today. I usually at least see him wandering in the yard.”

Techno shrugged, and was about to respond, when there was a large clatter from above. They raced up the ladders, only to catch a young blond in the act of thievery. 

“Tommy?” Phil asked, and the teen in response flinched away, pressed against a wall, hiding his back.

Tommy wasn’t there out of spite, he wasn’t there to be mean. He was there in a desperate hope to survive, and if a little relocating of supplies ensured that his best friend didn’t lose his last life, then what was it in the grand scheme of things?

The next few days went by quietly in the snow, they didn’t go anywhere and no one came to visit them. They knew of a large fight that had happened, but they didn’t want any part of it, not even if Tommy was part of it.

They’d bide their time.

It was only after those few days that Philza wondered where Ranboo had gone. He wasn’t concerned, but he wondered if Ranboo had left for good. When he brought it up to Techno, he wasn’t sure if he liked the red glint in his eyes or not. 

That same afternoon, after the imprisonment of Dream, Techno looked into Ranboo’s shack for the first time. He crouched on the grass, and after a few minutes, he growled. He stood up as he unsheathed his axe, and met Philza’s eyes.

“He definitely left in a hurry. I expect we’ll find him with the old L’manberg crew, like everyone who we house here.”

It took some convincing for one of the two, but soon Technoblade was en route to the crater. No one knew it but him as a black shape soared in the air above him like a guardian angel.

If there was one thing that Techno didn’t like, it was traitors.

________________

They reached the more populated land and were almost immediately met with Tommy, clad in a bulky sweatshirt despite the sweltering heat.

“What do you want, Technoblade?” The teen asked. “Tubbo almost died, so I suggest that you leave and let me process what happened.”

Techno couldn’t help but feel a twinge of sadness at how broken the boy looked. He moved past it. “That’s alright, but unless  _ you _ want to almost die, point me in the direction of a certain enderman hybrid.”

He looked threatening, with his axe slung over his shoulder and relaxed posture, as if murdering was a casual way to spend an afternoon. 

For him, it probably was. 

Tommy raised an eyebrow as he shifted uncomfortably in his layers. “Ranboo? Haven’t seen him in ages. Punz said he couldn’t find him, so we thought he was with you. Figured he was on your side, hated us or whatever. Is he not?” Tommy would be lying if he said he wasn’t scared for his friend, with Techno after him, but if the pink-haired man had made up his mind, there was nothing he could do. 

“Cut the bull, Tommy.” Phil said, stepping out from behind his son. “He hasn’t been at our place in days. We know you’re hiding him, we’ll find him eventually, there’s no use in stalling.”

Tommy’s confident grin slipped a little. “What d’you mean he hasn’t been there? I thought he had a house there? Why would he leave?”

Techno sighed. “If you’re not going to tell me, then I’ll just look myself. Bye, Theseus.”

The younger boy flinched at the nickname, and as he watched the pair leave, he couldn’t help but wish for simpler days when he could have gone to either for love. Instead, he went back to where Tubbo sat.

His mind wouldn’t let him rest, though.

“Hey Tubbo?” 

The boy who was sitting down, making a flower crown, hummed in response.

“Are you sure we haven’t seen Ranboo?”

Tubbo shrugged. “I’m sure he’ll turn up somewhere.”

Tommy waited another day before leaving to go somewhere. Or, rather, find someone. 

His destination wasn’t far away, but he took it slow for a multitude of reasons. First, his muscles still ached from his big fight, and two, he wasn’t all that sure that he was welcome in the place that he was traveling to. His mind was crowded, but something in him urged him to keep going. Something was wrong.

When he got to where he was going, he was greeted with tense silence. He broke it first.

“Hey, Niki.” She didn’t respond, but she turned to look down at him from her spot on the cobble tower she was making. “Listen, I know… I know we aren’t on the best of terms, but please tell me you’ve seen Ranboo.” He hated how his voice broke, like he was some child seconds away from tears. “You don’t even have to tell me where he is, if he wants to stay away, but please tell me he’s okay. I haven’t seen him in ages, and Techno’s hunting him. I need to make sure he’s not dead.”

That got Niki’s attention. She made her way down from where she had been and approached Tommy, who averted his eyes from the familiar coat that hung on her shoulders. 

“Ranboo’s missing?”

“Yeah.”

“Let me grab a few things. We need to find him.”

“So he’s not with you?” Tommy asked, looking up as Niki started walking away.

She turned to look at him, with a scared, sad look in her eyes. “No. I haven’t seen him since the… since everything went to shit.”

_______________________

It was a few days later. Niki and Tommy had gathered a group of people, but all of their searches came up with nothing. They were losing hope. 

Tommy had one last option, but he wasn’t sure if he liked it. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for it. He wasn’t sure if it would even work, but it was for Ranboo, so he’d do it. No one deserved to be out in the wilderness alone.

He took a few people with him, and they trekked for miles before it started snowing. It got colder, it got more harsh, and right before the others were ready to give up, a light shone in the distance. Almost as soon as it came into view the wind slowed a bit, making it easier to walk. 

The wood cabin wasn’t welcoming, but this was for Ranboo. Was he alone in the snow? Was it hurting him?

Tommy looked down and knocked on the door, picking at the sleeves of his sweatshirt, but he was sure the people in it knew he was there. 

He was right, and they were armed.

The boy raised his hands in surrender, and lifted his gaze to meet his… his father’s. He didn’t like the tears welling in his eyes and how genuine they were, but it got Phil to lower his sword. It gave him a chance.

“Phil, Ranboo, uh...” He stopped, cleared his throat and tried not to think of his friend lost in the wilderness. He wouldn’t cry. Not here. Not like this. Not with what was at stake.

“What is it, Tommy?” Phil asked, suddenly reminded of all the times Tommy had wandered to his bedside because of nightmares, and he wasn’t sure if he liked the similarities to now.

“It’s Ranboo- he- he’s-” water kept piling up, and he sniffed in an attempt to keep it at bay.

“Spit it out, Tommy.” Techno barked, but his axe was leaned against the wall. The child wasn’t a threat.

“Ranboo’s missing.”

__________________

The cabin was lit, a sharp contrast to the darkness outside of it. A group of five huddled inside of it, talking in hushed tones. There was a father, a failed one, there was a son, the loved one, there was a girl so forgotten by the world that she vowed to _ make it _ remember her, there was a boy that once was a son but now only held secrets, and there was another boy who had only ever been second best. 

They talked of the boy, unloved by all except for catastrophe, who searched for love in the void of pain and only ended up worse off than he was before.

“Where’s Fundy?” Phil asked, noticing the lack of reminder of the other son he had failed.

Niki winced. “He didn’t want to come. And, uh, Tommy figured it would be best to not bring many people. Appear as unthreatening as possible.”

Techno glanced around the room. Tommy and Tubbo huddled together as if scared that the other would disappear at a moment’s notice or would drift away in the breeze, and Niki looked so small in the brown trench coat that looked so familiar… He shook that thought away. “I mean, you did succeed. But how do we know this isn’t all an act? How do we know that you aren’t just tricking us? What can you show so that we know you’re sincere?”

Phil almost stopped Techno, but something in him made him stop. 

Tommy sighed. He had really hoped this wouldn’t happen. He had really hoped it wouldn’t come to this. He had really hoped to just keep one more secret, but it looked like it wasn’t going to happen. He stood up, and he could feel Tubbo start to keep leaning over as he moved.

He took his sweatshirt over his head, and suddenly, it was dead quiet. 

If they'd had better hearing, they would only have heard hearts beating, tense breathing, and one lone, grey feather hitting the floor.

Philza took in a sharp breath. “Tommy?” The boy didn’t meet his eyes. Softer this time, “Tommy, when did this happen?”

The boy’s large wings moved to embrace himself as he avoided eye contact. “During exile.”

“And you didn’t tell me?” 

Tommy shrugged passively. “I didn’t think you’d care.”

“How’d you hide that from me?” Techno asked, doing his hardest to ignore the cacophony of his voices and the hurting in his chest at the thought of Tommy, cowering under his base, scared for his life, the pain of growing the wings still present, having gone through it all alone. The thought of Little Tommy, starving and hurt, huddling on the cold stone of his basement, all alone, with no one there for him. The thought of  _ his brother _ -

Tommy’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “Guess you just never noticed.”

Something was wrong. That wasn’t right. “I would’ve noticed when I found you like a little raccoon. Now, we’ll ask you this again.  _ When _ did this happen?” Techno asked.

The response was so quiet he almost didn’t hear it. He almost wished he didn’t. “While I was here.”

And suddenly, it was so much worse.

His little brother grew wings, right under his nose. His little brother bled through the pain, and cried, and lost any last grasp to his childhood, and all when he didn’t notice. His little brother was so scared of him that he didn’t even ask for help, he just went through it alone, because going through the trauma and hurt by himself was better than it would be with him. When had he become such a bad older brother?

“Oh,  _ Tommy _ .”

_______________

  
  


They met at the Fortress, although they hadn’t a clue what it was. It was almost funny, the irony of it all. Almost the whole server met at the Fortress with hesitant treaties to organize search parties for Ranboo, and the answer to it all was being used as their table. 

The deity watching them had to give them credit, they had a good plan. They would have succeeded in their mission if Ranboo had been where they searched, so it was a shame that he wasn’t. It was a shame that he had gone to drastic measures to make sure they’d never find him.

He had to give them credit, they searched for much longer than he thought they would have. But, like many things, it didn’t last. People lost hope, they gave up.

The people of the Badlands and the old members of the Dream Team were the first to give up. They didn’t have a connection that fueled them, so their fire fizzled out.

Fundy and some of the lesser members were next. He didn’t want to be there in the first place.

Everyone fell off, they stopped their searches, until it was just Niki, Tubbo, Techno, and Tommy. But, like many good things, it didn’t last.

_________________

Niki stood up with a sigh, going to leave the room that they had gathered in. 

“Where are you going?” Tommy asked.

She hesitated to answer. “I don’t know, Tommy. I just think that we would’ve found him by now. I want him home as much as you do, but maybe… Tommy, maybe he just doesn’t want to be found.”

So, she left.

Tubbo was slow, but he followed too.

“Tubbo?”

“I’ll be back home. I’ve got to start dinner.” The boy said, not meeting Tommy’s eyes. 

It was quiet for a moment. “Techno, are you going to leave, too? Are you going to just give up like them?”

Technoblade didn’t answer right away, but he got Tommy standing. He slung an arm over the young boy’s shoulders and started walking with him. “C’mon, Theseus. We’ve got things we need to do.”

One by one, they all gave up. All except Tommy. Tommy knew there was something missing from the puzzle, and he had a feeling that Ranboo did want to be found. He wasn’t going to give up. He couldn’t. Not when Ranboo was all alone in the wilderness. 

_______________

Time passed by, slowly, then it gathered speed. A week, followed by a month, followed by another, followed by a year. Ties began to heal, brought together by the loss of one of their own. 

Dream stayed in the prison. He would rot there, eventually, but not before he served his purpose. That’s not this story, though. This isn’t the story of Dream, it’s the story of a boy and his nightmares.

There were no enemies, no wars. At the very least, they tolerated each other. At the most, they became a family again. 

Tommy and Tubbo didn’t like being apart from each other for more than a few hours. Niki visited them sometimes, and he brought bread occasionally. Fundy would join her, maybe, or maybe all four would travel to a cottage in the snow for a few days.

Time passed, painfully for some. 

Tommy learned how to use his wings, how to fly. He learned why he felt so protective over his family, in his yearning for a flock to call his own. Tubbo trained with Techno, partially to work on forgiving, partially to be able to protect his family. Niki still wore the coat, even when it was old and torn and fraying. Fundy visited his father’s grave. He cried there, but in the end he felt better.

Time passed, but the memories of the forgotten one didn’t leave Tommy’s mind. He didn’t want to leave him alone.

It was towards the end of a visit, just Tommy and Tubbo at the cottage with Phil and Techno. It was a soft dusk, and quiet, too. Two sets of dark, feathered wings draped over the large couch, covering the four people as they lounged together, basking in the warmth that they preserved.

Tommy was tired, his eyelids drooping, a content trill in the back of his throat not quite making it out. As he drifted off, he heard the harsh chirp of an enderman, and his eyes opened a little, sleepily, to look out of the window.

“Tommy?” Phil shifted from where he had been watching over the three others, waiting for an answer that didn’t come.

Tommy was staring directly at the enderman outside, in the boat, who was looking him right back in the eyes.

“Tommy?” Phil asked again, still not breaking his focus.

“Phil….” there was a soft hum. “Phil, how old is that enderman?”

Phil thought for a moment, before he sighed. “That’s uh, that’s actually one that Ranboo caught before he left. He might have accidentally made it mad, but he never liked killing them, so he caught it. Why?”

Tommy untangled himself from the pile of limbs and took a deep breath. “Was it there the night that he left?”

“Yea- Yeah, why?”

“Phil, that enderman might know where he went. We just need to talk to it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MORE PARTS TO FOLLOW! at least one, but maybe two. i underestimated how much i ramble lol more ranboo perspective in the next chapter!! i promise!!


	3. The Void Becoming His Best Friend (you tried to stop a god? i'm still here)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy searches for a way to get to Ranboo. Ranboo isn't having fun. Things that have been done here are permanent, there's no escaping what happened, and Ranboo can't help but feel like there's no hope.
> 
> Will Tommy reach him in time to prove otherwise?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SUICIDAL THOUGHTS!!!!!   
> if shippers even look at this i will stomp them with my hooves  
> there will be another chapter fear not

It was a while later, and three of the four people were awake and thinking. 

“Tommy, I get that you want hope and that you’re optimistic, but really? ‘Oh, we just gotta waltz up to the enderman and give it the old chat’ really, Tommy?” Techno asked, unhappy that his slumber had been interrupted while Tubbo got to rest.

“But we could find him! You’ve got so many books here, surely  _ one  _ of them is on enderman language.” Tommy argued. “What’re you gonna do, just abandon Ranboo?”

There was silence in the cottage. It was deafening.

“What the… no! I don’t get why you’re so content to just leave it alone, how do you sleep at night?” Tommy exploded. “How do you sleep at night knowing that somewhere, Ranboo is all alone, just like I was? I know what he’s gone through, you don’t. You only know riches and pride. So how about once, just once, you get off your pedestal and  _ get your head out of your ass  _ to help me find my friend?”

“Tommy-” Phil tried to interject.

“No, you don’t get to interrupt me. You two only wanted to use him- not even Tubbo is completely innocent, he used some pretty questionable methods to try to restore his memory- but at least he had good intentions! You just wanted to use him as what, a secret weapon to help you get your way?”

Silence fell again, until Techno heaved a heavy sigh.

“Fine, Tommy. I’m sure that at least the villagers have a book that might help. Just… don’t get your hopes up. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I’m not going to get hurt, because I’m not going to stop until Ranboo is home.” Tommy retorted, getting up to begin his work.

In the following days, Tubbo left for Snowchester, for he had other priorities. He wished he could stay, but he wasn’t sure he completely trusted his room mates yet. He’d visit soon, but ultimately, he wasn’t part of the second search.

Technoblade did help Tommy in finding books and scriptures that might help him, but he didn’t have spare time other than that. He had pets to tend to, farms to harvest, journeys to travel. He’d be there for the major parts of the research, but ultimately, he wasn’t part of the second search. 

Phil helped in his own way. He kept the food plentiful and warm, he made sure the woodpile outside was always ready to fuel the fire, he made sure that in the late nights where Tommy had stayed up, he found his way to bed. He made sure that Tommy was well taken care of, but ultimately, he wasn’t part of the second search.

Tommy dove into his quest to bring Ranboo back. He travelled to a multitude of villages, he ransacked Techno’s library, he wouldn’t sleep until he had finished that page- that chapter- the whole book. He wouldn’t eat until he’d found one more hint, he wouldn’t rest. Tommy was doing everything in his power to succeed. He was the second search.

It seemed like ages to Tommy, by the time he found a reasonable script of text that would help him learn the language, but maybe that was because he pulled one-nighters more than he slept through the starry skies. 

The book itself was small and unassuming, and to be honest, he had almost passed it by without bothering to check. But, in the end, he was glad that he did check it, because the purple cover and black binding held all of the answers that he had been looking for. 

The pages were old and crackled as Tommy flipped through them, he was almost scared that they’d dissolve right in his hands. The handwriting was beautifully curved, and it seemed to give off glowing purple particles every few minutes. He looked through it quickly, and he grinned, because there on the pages, was a way to communicate to the only way to find his friend.

It took him weeks to figure out how to make the guttural chirps and various noises, and he knew it would take even longer to learn it fluently, so he figured it was best to just translate as he went. So, on a bright, sunny day, Tommy went outside in the snow. There was no one around, they were all off in their places, he didn’t know where. He only knew where the enderman was.

It was old now, that lanky creature, since it was already a considerable age when it had reached the overworld. It’s vibrant skin had faded to a dull grey, and its warbling cries were hoarse. It pried its eyes open as Tommy approached, and its gaze lazily shifted to the book that he held. The look in its eyes was almost one of… recognition. 

“ **Hello** ?” Tommy tested, unsure of how this would work. He wasn’t sure if he trusted the writing yet.

The enderman let out a similar sound to the trill that he had tried, so he supposed it was fine. Was this working?

Tommy flipped through the book he held, finding the words he wanted to say. It was slow, but it was working. “ **Where… boy… go** ?” Not the greatest grammatically, but it got his point across.

The enderman let out a huff of air, settling down in its boat. It was silent for a moment before looking back at Tommy. “ **Hybrid** ?”

Once he found the word that he thought the enderman had said, he nodded frantically. “ **Where** ?”

There was now a sad look in the enderman’s eyes, but the way its teeth were bared almost made it seem like it was smiling. What was going on?

“ **Where** ?” Tommy asked again, more aggressively this time.

A soft crooning came out of the enderman. It held emotion, it held regret, it held everything that Tommy never would have thought endermen would feel. It took longer to find the translation now. When he did, he wasn’t sure if it was a clear answer.

“ **Called home** ?” He repeated.

The enderman nodded. “ **The boy was called home** .”

“ **Where is home** ?” Tommy asked. Ranboo had a home other than here? Where was it?

“ **The** **End**.” 

Tommy scrunched up his eyebrows. The end? “ **End of what** ?”

“ **Home** .”

No matter how much Tommy tried, the enderman kept repeating those two phrases. Home. The end. He never answered where home was, never answered what it was the end of. Was it the end of their home, Ranboo returning? Tommy didn’t know.

He got up to leave after a few hours of trying, tired of listening to the same words over and over again. As he stood, the enderman said one last thing.

“ **Find him. Hurry** .”

The voice was so genuine, so worried, that Tommy just nodded and didn’t bother telling the enderman that he was going as fast as he could.

_____________

That night at dinner, Tommy brought up what he had heard. Techno and Phil were just as well off as he was- confused and angry because of it.

“Tell me it again?” Techno asked.

“The boy was called home, the end, home. It kept repeating that, like some weirdo.” Tommy scoffed.

“Pass the salt,” Phil said, before continuing. “Ranboo went home, but as far as we know he doesn't have another home here, right?” He got confirmation, so he rushed to finish. “Well, Ranboo’s a hybrid, so what I’m trying to say is… what if he went back home, but to the endermen? There’s gotta be a place where they all exist, right? We just gotta figure out how to get there.”

They thought about that for a moment.

“Yeah, but that still doesn’t explain the end thing. The end of a story? I don’t get it.” Tommy said, frustrated.

Techno chucked. “You don’t get a lot of things, Tommy.” He let out an indignant noise when he was smacked by a dark grey wing. “Phil, aren’t you going to tell him to stop it?”

Phil laughed. “Tommy, don’t hit your brother.”

Tommy stopped, but he couldn’t help but think that Phil hadn’t done anything when Techno was trying to kill him way back when, in L’manberg. He shook his head as if that would help clear it. Those times had passed, at least he had a family. That was more than Ranboo could say.

Unless the endermen were his family. Maybe he wouldn’t even want to come back. Maybe this was all useless.

____________

When Tommy tried to research a home for the endermen, he came up with nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. To the world around him, endermen just popped into existence when they wanted to, but he knew something was wrong. He needed answers.

So Tommy did something he hadn’t done in a long time. Not since right after Ranboo went missing and they didn’t even realize it. He put on his boots, he put on a determined look and he picked up his communicator. 

“Hey, Sam. Mind heading to the prison? I fancy a visit to that green-looking bitch.”

It was no less ominous than the last time he had been there, and you could tell that no one had visited in a while. After a long wait, when he finally got through the lava, he saw Dream. 

He looked significantly worse than last time, but Tommy didn’t feel any sympathy. He got what he deserved.

“Hey, Tommy.” Dream drawled, sitting on the floor in the corner. 

Tommy nodded. “Hey Dream. Listen, I need some information. I need to know where the home of the endermen is. I figured you might know.”

“It’s gonna cost you, Tommy. I-”

“I’m not going to call for your release, so you can just forget that right now.”

Dream laughed. “I’m not stupid. I know that I’m stuck here until I can figure out how to escape. I was gonna say, if you want this information, I’m not going to revive Wilbur. This kind of information is valuable, I need to make sure you really want it.”

Tommy inhaled quickly, and looked away, shoving his hands in his pockets. He didn’t like how his eyes filled with tears at the mention of his older brother. He didn’t like how even then, in that moment, Dream still had power over him, trying to scrabble for even the slightest bit of hold on him.

“Think it over, Tommy. This isn’t a rushed decision.”

Tommy glared at the man, but his brain rushed with thoughts. The most prominent? 

Wilbur was gone. He didn’t want to come back. One of his brothers was too far gone to be helped, but there was still one that he had the power to save. He couldn’t do both.

“Just give me the information, Dream, and I’ll leave you alone again.”

“You’re doing all of this for Ranboo? Are you sure he’s worth it?”

Tommy rolled his eyes to hide his insecurity and didn't bother asking how Dream knew. “Shut it, Dream. I’m not going to give up on him like everyone else. So give me that information, and we’ll see what other purposes we can have for you besides rotting in hell.”

_____________

Dream ended up writing out some stuff in one of the many books that he had, and Tommy left him with a middle finger in the air and a smile on his face.

“You all set?” Awesamdude had asked, and for once, Tommy was able to say, truthfully, that he had never been better.

______________

He was back at the cottage, sitting at the dining room table, the simple leather book open to the lazy scrawl of Dream’s writing. There wasn’t much, for even Dream had his things that he didn’t know, but there was enough that surely they’ll be able to find the enderman home. Tommy scanned the book and-

“That  _ motherfucker _ .” 

Phil looked over. “What?”

“You wanna know what the home of the endermen is called? Huh, Phil? You wanna know? Jesus.” Tommy raged.

Techno popped into the room. “Well, I want to know. What is it?”

“The End.” Tommy said, running a hand over his face. “I can’t believe it. I was all ‘the end of what’ when it was a name the whole time? Man.”

Techno laughed, but Phil didn’t. He had some questions. “Well, does it say how to get there, or are we just as well off as we were?”

Tommy squinted at the words on the page. “It says there’s a portal that we have to put eye of enders on. I’d always wondered what those things were for. Huh. Oh, here we go. The portal can be found in a fortress, uhh… there’s a lot of rooms in a fortress, so we need to find the portal one.”

Technoblade stopped laughing. “Does it say what the portal looks like?”

“A circle of sand-like yellow bricks that have some sort of blue substance on it? That doesn’t make sense.” Tommy muttered to himself, but Techno just groaned. 

“I am such an idiot.” At a look from Tommy, he elaborated. “Tommy, we’ve been using the portal as a  _ table _ this whole time.” 

________________

  
  


After another week of preparation, they all stood around the portal. 

Well, not everyone, because the room was pretty small, but there were a few people there. Phil and Techno were there, Tubbo was there. Tommy was there. Fundy wasn’t, and Niki wasn’t, but there were people there. They were all geared up and ready to go, all prepared to go fetch Ranboo back. 

They had eyes of ender. 

They just had to be placed.

Tommy wasn’t sure if he was ready, because he’d spent months on this. Years, if you count the first search. He had grown, in those years. He was still Tommyinnit, legendary fighter. He was still immature sometimes, he still swore, he still had fun. But yeah, he had changed. He wasn’t innocent or naive anymore. Was he ever? His laughs weren’t so carefree, his smiles weren’t so sincere, his eyes didn’t shine with the mischief that they used to. He had grown, and he was ready for this. He placed the enders into the portal.

Nothing happened.

“What?” Tommy asked. “What? No, no, no, no, Dream said this would work. It has to work. This is the only way to get there- this has to work.” His breathing quickened and he grabbed the book, flipping it over and searching the words again. “Yeah- it’s supposed to work-”

Phil sighed. “I don’t know, Tommy. Maybe it’s just a regular table. Maybe it’s not a portal.”

Techno was silent, but he nodded. 

Tubbo didn’t say anything. 

Tommy didn’t know which one was worse.

His wings circled his body as he fell to sit on the ground, knees pulled up against his chest. “It was supposed to work.” Tommy’s voice cracked, and he didn’t have the energy to groan at it. “Why didn’t it work?”

There was silence. He knew they’d be leaving soon. 

Before they could, though, there was a soft gust of wind. They all turned to the doorway of the room, where a shadow stood. 

“Who are you?” Techno asked, raising his axe.

“Calm down, Blood god.” The being sneered. “I’m not here for you.” The being drifted over to where Tommy sat and gave out a quiet cluck. “Aw, the scripts really haven’t been kind to you, have they? No matter. Do you want to go through the portal?”

“Yeah.” Tommy’s response was too small-sounding for his liking.

The deity looked at the room, and hummed. “I can’t let all four of you through, and two of you couldn’t even travel through the End without those handy wings… But, I only promised Ranboo that I’d let someone through if they truly were looking for him.” The piercing gaze turned to Phil. “So you can understand why you can’t go through either. Only Tommy can go through, and that is final.”

“How do you know my name?” Tommy asked, dragging himself to his feet. 

“Oh, Tommy.” The deity laughed, waving its hand and doing away with the portal, only to wave it again and the portal was back, only this time the middle of it was taken up by a black expanse, scattered with stars. “You’ve been trying to kill a god, but you were looking in the wrong places. Sure, you locked up a wannabe, but I’m still here. Go through the portal, Tommy. It’ll be open as long as it takes you, but don’t expect to be in my good graces again. You’ve lived life on a thin line, Tommyinnit. Eventually, you’re going to fall.”

Tommy hesitated, but he was given a harsh push and he fell through the portal, screaming.

_______________

His back hit the ground and the air left his lungs, leaving him gasping. When he rolled over, he noticed that what he was standing on was definitely not dirt. Because, last time he checked, dirt was not yellow.

Was it snow?

He got up onto his feet and stretched his wings, turning in a slow circle. There was no land in sight, in any direction, and he certainly did not know where to go for sure. He had a hunch, but his hunches were barely right.

He ended up deciding to just pick a direction to fly in, and hope he encountered a city to ask for a route to Ranboo or something, and he wasn’t going to question why his method succeeded. 

It just didn’t work out exactly how he thought it would, but it worked.

When he landed in the city, the endermen avoided his gaze. He’d never seen so many in one spot, and he’d never seen any so mad. It looked like a relatively new settlement, but he plucked up the courage to speak to one.

“ **Hello** ?”

One glared at the space between his eyes. “ **What** ,  **Human** ?”

“ **Where is hybrid boy** ?” Tommy asked, hoping they got what he was trying to say, hoping desperately that this was a city that knew Ranboo. 

He got a response, but it wasn’t a positive one. It was a hiss, a scream, a yell of such pure and unfiltered anger and disgust that Tommy took a full step backwards. The enderman pointed in a direction. “ **Kill him if you want to. We have no use for him. Now go, before we kill** **_you_ ** **.** ”

Tommy didn’t understand the entirety of the words, but he got the gist of it. Kill? Why would they think he wanted to kill Ranboo? Why did they hate him so much?

He ran to the edge of the floating island he was on and leaped, letting his wings carry him. He traveled for ages, but eventually, another island came into sight. Only, instead of a heavily populated city, all that was left was ruins.

_______________

Ranboo didn’t do much on the first few days after he was abandoned for the… third? Time. The only thing that kept him going was the fact that his animals needed tending to. It was the only thing that kept him alive, that kept him from finding the void more appealing than it already was. They’d be all alone, no one would find them.

No one deserved to be alone.

He stopped writing in his memory book. It hurt too much, to pick up that pen and have to face all that had happened, but he couldn’t burn it. It hurt too much, to flip through the pages that he had been so happy in, still alone but happy. He thought maybe, if he didn’t remember it happening, it wouldn’t have. TIme would go in reverse. He wasn’t stuck here. Surely, someone would come for him. Why was he here again? He didn’t remember.

He didn’t want to remember.

After a week, he got angry. He had internalized his pain for so long, maybe he deserved an opportunity to let it out. So he did. He let it all out, he screamed as he let his true height show, as his body was surrounded with floating purple particles. He didn’t remember what happened, but he blacked out and when he woke up, the city was destroyed. It was only when he opened his eyes that he realized what had stopped him. One of his parrots had been caught in the crossfire.

Wasn’t everyone?

The parrot got buried. It took work, but he couldn’t just toss the body in the void. 

He started talking to himself. “What if I act as enderman-like as possible? Will they come back?” 

“What if I punish myself? Will they come back?”

“What if I make myself worth it? Will they come back?.”

Eventually, it got worse. 

“Please, I’ll do anything, I want to go back. I made a mistake, they didn’t care for me but maybe if I come back, they will. Maybe if I lose the part of me that they wanted to use, they’ll see me as someone to care for.”

Who was he kidding. They’d always use him.

Ranboo started crying more. It always hurt, but sometimes he liked it. Sometimes the dull pain was a nice reminder that he wasn’t dead, yet. He fell asleep at night crying, and would wake up with a headache. He’d shake and scream, he’d panic and have his breath speed up, but he made it through it.

At some point, he couldn’t remember when, he stopped crying. He couldn’t feel the pain anymore. The stinging had faded. He didn’t cry at night (was it night? The sky just stared endlessly at him. He didn’t remember what time it was.) anymore. He stayed awake most of the time. When he did cry, it still didn’t hurt. It took him a while, but he got the courage to look into the water bucket he had brought with him. He wished he didn’t. His face was covered in ugly red and maroon scars, deep and aching. They’d never heal. This was something he’d have to live with forever. Maybe forever wouldn’t last that long.

He started dipping his hands into the water instead of crying. It burned more.

It seemed like months passed before he got used to his whole situation. Sure, he still pondered on what could have been done differently. What if he never left his shack? L’manberg? The End, the first time? He couldn’t tell where the mistakes and bad decisions began.

He could feel himself adapt. 

His hearing was more sensitive, for without the constant buzz of endermen, the End was dead quiet. Maybe that wasn’t the best metaphor, though. 

His eyesight was better, but it was different. He wasn’t sure how to describe it. Dull? Maybe it came from staring into the void. 

He did keep talking, but only spoke in the human dialect when the voice of Dream came to visit him. It wasn’t that often, but it kept him company. He never got that closure that everyone told him he needed. Most other times he used the endermen warbles that he had been shunned for forgetting, hoping that it might bring them back.

DId he want them back?

Time passed. He wasn’t sure if it was slowly or not, because he couldn’t tell time at all. He measured time by when his pets died, first the other parrot, then one cat, then his dog, then Enderchest. Enderpearl was the last to go, of old age or lack of food. He guessed nothing but endermen could survive in the End. Was he part of that?

He already felt half-dead. What was the difference? 

He knew time had passed. He was no fool, he knew it left him behind like everyone else. He lived in his ruins alone, and he learned to tolerate it. No one used him. There was no one  _ to _ use him, and no one to use him  _ against _ , but he glossed over the details.

What if things had gone differently?

He couldn’t think like that. They never would go differently. He was stuck here, and maybe he’d learn to love it.

The void was becoming his best friend. 

Days went by in a steady routine of the same thing over and over again, a haze that he could never be broken out of. At least, that’s what he always thought. 

Until he woke up one day and heard something for the first time since he’d last felt pain from the water on his hands and had screamed. He didn’t know what it was, but as it got closer, his ears hurt more and more. He decided to curl up in his house until it was gone.

It didn’t go away. It got worse.

It stopped for a second, then it got way worse but- was that- no, it couldn’t be. Was that- was that- English?

“Ranboo? Ranboo, are you here?”

He whimpered, and the noise paused, replaced with the sound of feet hitting the ground. A shadow came across the doorway, though the room was already dark. 

“Ranboo?”

He put his hands over his ears, and he heard a soft ‘oh’.

The voice spoke soft nothings, comforting words that he hadn’t heard in so long. It was a while before he felt like he could open his eyes. When he did, he gave a quiet screech of surprise.

“ **Tommy** ?”

The blond smiled. “Hey, buddy.”

Tommy was almost an adult, or was already one, either way he was old enough that his eyes told weary stories of his battles but young enough that his bones still had spirit. 

“ **Are you real? There’s no way you’re real- you’re fake, you’ve got to be, you came after all this time** ?”

Tommy’s grin faltered. “I can’t understand you that well. You wanna talk in a language we’re both fluent in?”

Ranboo almost laughed, because that was such a Tommy thing to say, but instead, he felt tears welling in his eyes. He sniffled a little bit, and suddenly he was being  _ hugged- _ and surely, it shouldn’t have been so nice, but it had been so long since he had last had one that he cried, and he hadn’t cried for such a long time, but it felt good to  _ feel something _ again. It felt good to just be  _ held _ , because it felt so good to be  _ comforted _ and  _ cared for _ . 

Ranboo didn’t notice when Tommy brought him outside, but it was brought to his attention when Tommy said something about it, in better lighting.

“Oh, _Ranboo_ , what happened to you?”

Ranboo didn’t respond, he was burrowed too far into a hug, and the gentle touches on his scars were more comforting than painful.

“Ranboo, I know you haven’t seen me in a while, but we gotta go back. Phil, Tubbo and Tech are all waiting for you.”

He barely registered it, but he noticed the fond nickname that Technoblade had been given, and suddenly he felt guilty for intruding on the probable whole family. “I don’t want to get in the way of your true family.” He said sleepily.

As he drifted off into the first peaceful sleep since before he found this hell, safe in Tommy’s arms, he heard one last thing.

  
“Aw, but you  _ are _ my true family, big man.”


	4. Set the Past Aflame (and from the ashes let the memories linger)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wakes up feeling warm. He's not in the End anymore, but will this world be any kinder? 
> 
> Maybe for once, it'll let them be kids. Maybe it'll let them forgive everyone. Maybe it'll let them heal. Maybe it'll let them be a family again. But then again, Ranboo's always been a dreamer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok hear me out i know i promised fluff and have been for quite a while but for me anything but crushing angst is fluff- ive got plans for next chapter dw??

Ranboo woke up on a bed. A bed? He hadn’t had a bed in years. Not since the little shack in the cold, but surely he wasn’t there. No, it was too warm to be there. It was too loud for him to still be in the End, though. Far too loud. Where was he?

Opening his eyes might tell him, he figured.

It took more work than it probably should have, and he seriously considered just letting them fall back closed and sleeping for another few hours, but his mind was already up and ready to go. His body would follow eventually, but for now, it was sluggish and unwilling to do anything. 

“Hey, Ranboo, you up? Or are you just moving cause you’re having another nightmare?”

The sudden noise made his eyes snap open, to stare at who was at his bedside. It was Tommy, of course. He opened his mouth to respond, and only at the last moment remembered to speak in English.

“Why are you so loud?” His tongue felt like lead, heavy and irritating. His throat hurt, but he didn’t think he could bear to look at water right now. “Where am I?’

Tommy scrunched his eyebrows together. “You’re at the cottage, I had to carry you back because you slept the whole time. Big man, I’m whispering. Are you alright?”

Ranboo wanted to laugh, but it’d been so long he wasn’t sure if he knew how. “You carried me? How’d you get through the portal? And I’m fine.”

“Some guy with wings opened it. Are you sure you’re okay? You were super light, You’ve been having nightmares and stuff and speaking all enderman-like and we have to make sure to be quiet around you. It’s fine if you’re not okay, I get what being alone can do to you. You just gotta communicate with me.”

Ranboo exhaled slowly. He wouldn’t cry. It would be useless.

Tommy must’ve sensed his reluctance to answer, so he changed the subject. “Phil’s on his way back now with Techno, they left this morning for a trip because they figured you’d be out for a little longer. I stayed behind, and messaged them a few hours ago because you were sleeping lighter.” There was a heavy silence after that, until Tommy broke it again. “Say, why’d you leave? Did it all just get too much, or did you not want to stay here?”

Ranboo swallowed thickly. He didn’t want to answer, to tear the family apart, but Tommy needed to know. “I think I just snapped. I’d lost my only home, and when Phil brought me here, I thought I’d get a new one, but... “ He paused, fingers fiddling with his sleeve. “I overheard something that I wasn’t meant to. It changed my perspective, and in the heat of the moment, I just… I left. I was going to just run away, but I thought of the End, because that’s where I came from originally, so I went there looking for… comfort.”

It went unsaid that he didn’t get it, but Tommy didn’t need for it to be spoken. He’d seen the city of endermen, angry and disgusted by the hybrid. 

He hesitated to ask, but something told him he needed to. “What’d you overhear, Ranboo?”

Tears welled up in Ranboo’s eyes again and he closed them as he spoke. “Technoblade and Phil were talking about their new syndicate, and what new members to include. I was going to just go in the house, but then Technoblade mentioned me, so I waited. He said they should include me, use my memory issues to their advantage, and let me go feral and all endermen-like on whoever they wanted, so that the blame couldn’t be traced back to them.”

“That’s awful.” Tommy whispered.

“And Phil…” Ranboo smiled ruefully. “He just agreed. He didn’t bother to mention that the man who was mad at his younger brother for using him as a weapon was going to do the exact same thing to a teenager. I realized that I wasn’t going to get what I wanted there, I knew Fundy hated me, I knew Niki was still consumed by grief, and Tubbo, well… Tubbo had you. And you had Tubbo. You just needed to know it, and I would get in the way of that. So, I left.”

Ranboo had opened his eyes by the end of it, and Tommy opened his mouth to say something, but the door creaked.

“Boys? We’re home.” 

Ironic. They weren’t boys anymore. They were boys when the wars raged on, raised in the midst of screams and pain. They weren’t boys now, once the white flags had been put up, once the sound of explosions stopped ringing in their ears. They were men, now, but the adults that had watched them grow had yet to acknowledge it, had yet to notice how badly they ruined their childhoods. Would they ever? Would they ever take responsibility for the long nights that were spent awake because their dreams were haunted by death and famine? Would they?

“Hey, Phil.” Tommy said dully. 

Ranboo turned towards the door, and his gaze met the eyes of the man that he hadn’t seen since the day he left. The man that was part of the reason he left. Not that he knew it, though. Why would he?

“Hi.” Ranboo said, barely noticeable. 

“Hi!” Phil responded, smiling. “You doing alright? You’ve been out for a while.”

Ranboo didn’t answer. He just looked at his hands, which were still red and raw, the skin uneven and bumpy. His face was better, the marks from his sorrow now only raised lines after having longer to heal. They were pink and grey, depending on which side they were on. But his hands- his hands still ached, they were still new wounds, a constant reminder of how badly he was doing. How much he had suffered, all on his lonesome, not even an animal companion to spill his feelings to. He was forced to face his failure, every single time he looked down. 

He could’ve said something about how badly they hurt, all the time, but he didn’t. Phil didn’t care enough, it’d be useful to pretend that he did. That’s what got him into this mess in the first place. So, instead of saying how he felt, he lied. 

“I’m okay.”

Tommy gave a slight huff, but got up to say hi to Technoblade anyway, leaving the other two alone.

Ranboo stayed as quiet as possible, flinching at all of the noises that Phil made as he made himself busy in the kitchen. If the older man noticed, he didn’t do anything about it. The silence was tense and uncomfortable, but maybe it was all in his mind. It wouldn’t be the first time. 

Not much happened until dinner came around, and though Ranboo saw all of the food placed out, he couldn’t bear to eat it. 

“You gonna eat something, big man?” Tommy asked, mouth full of food. 

He hesitated. “I, uh. Haven’t eaten in a while. Endermen don’t really… need it.”

All movement stopped. Though it felt nice to his ears, Ranboo could feel the pressure of the eyes on him. 

“Hm?” Tommy asked. “Say that again?”

“Well, I mean, I was there for a while, I was gonna run out of food eventually,” he stammered. “I discovered I just, I just didn’t need food.”

There was nothing for a moment, then Tommy moved some food to his plate and continued his meal. Ranboo did his best, but he could only bear to eat a few mouthfuls.

The only noise for a while was the clinking of forks on the plates, until Tommy’s communicator buzzed. He took it out to look at, before humming and standing up. 

“What is it?” Technoblade asked.

“Tubbo needs me back. C’mon, Ranboo, we gotta get going.”

Phil made a small noise. “Maybe it’d be best if Ranboo stayed behind…”

Tommy glanced between his family members and spoke tensely. “No, I think he’ll come with me, you okay with that, Ranboo?”

He didn’t want to be left behind with Phil. Or Technoblade. 

“Yeah. I don’t have anything with me, so I’m all set.”

“Oh,” Tommy said, “I actually brought some of your stuff. I couldn’t carry all of it, but I grabbed some of it.” He motioned to a small bag in the corner near where he had woken up. 

Ranboo got up awkwardly, and took a hold of the bag. He didn’t look in it until he and Tommy were on borrowed horses on their way back to (what he assumed was still) Snowchester. In it were four collars, each with a different name from his pets, his old mis-matched gloves, his old memory books, and his crown, which he hadn’t even noticed was missing. He closed the bags, and noticed his hands again.

“Hey Tommy, do you have any bandages to cover these, so everyone doesn’t have to see them?”

Tommy nodded and tossed the bandages to Ranboo, and chuckled a bit. “You know, I haven’t told anyone else that you’re back. Tubbo knows, but I’m not sure he’s expecting you to come with me.”

Ranboo didn’t have another response, and just wrapped his hands. It hurt a little bit, but he couldn’t find the strength to care.

Maybe Niki would.

As buildings came into sight, he finally let his tears fall that had been hidden for so long. He never thought he’d see them again, and though more than a few of them were singed from wars past and maybe a few that he hadn’t been a part of, he couldn’t help but feel that he was finally home. Everyone had said that L’manberg wasn’t a place, but a people, and Ranboo couldn’t help but feel that it was the wrong sentiment for him. The people didn’t care about him. The trees, the foliage, the bricks that had been faced with such love, they did.

Ironic. Like everything was in his life, nowadays.

When he had stopped crying, they finally reached the other snowy biome after going down a long highway that he barely remembered. There was a lone figure standing at the end of it, as if waiting for the arrival of Tommy.

Tubbo looked older. They all did, to be fair. However, whereas Phil’s hair was just a bit more grey, Technoblade moved with a bit more caution from old wounds finally catching up to him, and Tommy had lost his signature loudness, Tubbo had gained a reckless sheen to his eyes. Ranboo wasn’t sure if he liked it, but when he clambered down from his horse, Tubbo smiled at him.

“Hey Ranboo, glad to see you back. Did you get even taller?”

Ranboo smiled, a bit awkwardly, after having gone so long without any sort of positive expression.

“Maybe, I mean I was kinda… embracing my enderman side a little more.”

He made sure to slouch a little more than he had been. 

They all entered one of the buildings, and Tubbo took something out of a chest. “Here, Ranboo, I figured I’d make this for you for whenever you came back.” In his hands, he held out a beautiful leather journal with a delicately made quill, a much better quality than the raggedy ones in the small bag that he clutched. 

“It’s for me?”

“Yeah.” Tubbo said, and pulled Ranboo into a hug after the journal was safely stashed away. “You know, I’m really glad you’re okay. I thought for a minute you might not be.”

Ranboo gave Tubbo a wary smile, mind going back to the feeling of a sudden pulse of electricity hitting his body. “No problem? I don’t really know what to say.”

They had a good stay in Snowchester, but it only lasted a couple of days until Tommy decided to message everyone else that Ranboo had been found. He didn’t know what he expected, but utter silence wasn’t it. Maybe he expected at least one shocked response, maybe a tearful one, maybe… well, at least something, after being gone for who knows how long. Ranboo still wasn’t sure the exact amount of time.

It didn't matter. Niki was on the wooden path, and when she turned to look at the sound of horses approaching, her face became pale. Ranboo noticed that her hair was a different color than he remembered it, but then again, he remembered different times.

“Tommy wasn’t kidding?” was her first question, when they dismounted and walked closer. She placed the basket she was holding down and went over to Ranboo, one hand taking his and one moving to cup his face. “Oh, Ranboo, what happened to you?”

Ranboo didn’t like how his eyes closed when he felt her fingers against his scars, how he leaned into her touch. He’d missed his older sister. Did she miss him?

He didn’t notice when he gave off a soft enderman chatter.

Niki’s gaze fell to Ranboo’s hands, covered in bandages. “Boo, you need to do these differently, these aren’t going to do anything-” and, as she unravelled them, “ _ Oh _ ,  _ Ranboo _ …”

She looked at his fingers, or claws, that should have been long with the time he’d been gone, if not for how he broke them. He hated how disappointed she was, looking at the red and maroon skin that was still sore and sensitive. He hated that she didn’t bother to ask why he did it. He hated that she had left him all on his own right when he was at his lowest just so that she could exact her revenge, but as much as he tried, he couldn’t hate her.

She pulled Ranboo into a hug, and as much as he wanted to just stay in her arms forever, she let go first and said that she had to hurry home to Puffy. Perhaps that was another story that he’d never learn.

As he left to follow Tommy, he probably wouldn’t’ve heard her last words if not for the way his hearing had changed. 

“I’m sorry I gave up on you.” Her sweet voice, full of sadness that would never be fixed, filled with a fire that had been quenched. She’d had her revenge, but it left her cold and full of regret. Not for what she’d done, but for the hurt that she’d caused because of it.

Ranboo wasn’t sure which hurt more- the fact that she acknowledged that she’d given up on her younger brother but did nothing to fix it, or that she thought that he didn’t need to hear her apology. At that point, he would’ve given anything to hear her apology, but instead of turning around, he flicked his ears forward and kept walking.

She’d given up on him long ago. He was starting to give up on them.

“Hey, are you alright, man?” Tommy asked. “You’re going all misty-eyed and shit.” 

Ranboo managed a weak grin. “Yeah. Just a lot of memories.” 

He’d thought that they’d go home after that, but a shock of orange fur occupied his peripheral vision. When he turned, Fundy stood there, and neither could tell if he was shaking with sorrow or rage.

“So you’re back?” Fundy started. His fur was more vibrant, now. He’d gotten taller, more sleek. His eyes a little beadier. “You just couldn’t leave well alone?” 

“I guess not.” Ranboo said. He didn’t want to fight with Fundy. He didn’t hate Fundy- he was just tired. Not tired of something specific, just tired of everything. Tired of it all. 

“You were better off gone, Ranboo. You left, and I finally- I  _ finally _ wasn’t left behind or forgotten, because they all figured it’d be easier to forget about you, instead.”

“Was I?” Ranboo chuckled, ignoring the scratchiness at the back of his throat. “I was going to die there, Fundy.”

The fox bristled at the blunt words, and hesitated, but he was stubborn. Just like his father. “Just yell again. Leave me again. I thought we were friends, Ranboo, but then you left? What kind of selfish, shit friend does that?”

Ranboo ignored the pressure building up behind his eyes. “I think we both have issues to resolve before we make things better between us, Fundy. Don’t make me fight with you. I never wanted to hurt you.”

Fundy turned to re-enter the forest. “Yeah, well, that’s what they all say, isn’t it. I suppose I’ll see you around at some point, though, if you aren’t gonna disappear again. Bye, Ranboo.”

Ranboo couldn’t muster up a response to his once close friend. It was too painful.

Tommy watched the whole interaction. “You got some baggage too, huh?” The pair rode their horses a little further and in the distance they could see the gaping crater that by now was old and settled. Tommy sighed, almost wistfully, but with a hint of something else. “Don't we all, buddy.” He patted Ranboo on the back, and kept going.

In hindsight, it was pretty remarkable how mature Tommy had gotten in the time Ranboo was gone. Where was the impulsive, reckless child that Tommy once was?

Was he shivering in an old, rickety bed in a ravine as the lanterns creaked and arguing could be heard from down the hall?

Was he still holding his breath next to one brother while the other threatened his best friend’s life?

Was he facing withers after seeing his brother murdered by his father’s hand, wondering if they ever even  _ were _ a family?

Was he still staring down a pillar in exile, wind whipping through his hair as the cold air struggled to make it through his lungs, losing the hope and will to keep breathing?

Or, maybe, was he standing in a dark room, ceiling far above him, watching his abuser put a sword to his best friend’s throat, for good this time, completely unaware of anything other than the way that their eyes met, one accepting and one horrified?

Ranboo didn’t know about half of those events, but sometimes it makes you wonder. It makes you wonder what would’ve happened if the children, now adults, would’ve gotten their childhood.

Ranboo shook his head to clear it of thoughts and hurried to catch up with Tommy.

“You know, it really is okay to be all sorts of messed-up.” Tommy said, seemingly out of nowhere. “It really is. I mean, take a look at me, and I’m still kicking.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah!” Tommy grinned, steering his horse off of the wooden path and over to a space of rolling hills. “Hey, follow me.”

Curiously, Ranboo got his horse to obey.

Before he knew it, he was standing in front of a hollowed-out hill, wooden door still there but slowly rotting away, cobwebs living in the dark crevices that he could barely see. It was an old house, if you could call it that, abandoned and lonely. Kind of like himself. 

It was George’s old cottage, from long ago. “This is where it all started huh?” Ranboo asked, a smile finding its way onto his face despite all that had happened. 

Tommy nodded, digging in his pocket for something. He pulled out a black lighter, slightly rusted along the edges but still functional. “For old time’s sake, yeah? What d’you reckon?” With a laugh, a genuine laugh, from Ranboo, Tommy handed over the lighter. “I did it last time. It’s your turn.”

“We’re not gonna be in trouble?”

“No. I don’t think anyone really cares for this place anymore.”

With steady hands, not shaky ones, Ranboo took the lighter and moved it so that it lit a small flame. “Are you gonna want this back, or can I be dramatic with it?” He was starting to feel the adrenaline, a giddy feeling spreading through his body.

“Ah,” Tommy said, “I only kept it ‘cause of you being gone. But now I’ve got you back, I don’t need it.”

Ranboo’s hand found its way into Tommy’s, and he stepped forward slightly to drop the flame, a  _ whoosh _ going before the past was set afire. They stood there for a moment watching it, though it was pitiful compared to the first one, because it meant everything to them. It meant their freedom, it meant their safety, it meant that they could revisit the past without it spitting in their faces. Tommy pulled his hand away from Ranboo’s roughly.

“Tag, you’re it!” He yelled, pushing Ranboo’s shoulder and running off quickly. He was tall, but his long legs would be no match for Ranboo’s.

The hybrid only laughed. “How old  _ are _ you?” He retorted, before breaking into a sprint and trying to tackle the blond.

Amidst their roughhousing, they failed to notice as others would step up to see the fire and two men, the ghosts of their childhoods standing and watching the cottage burn, although this one a meager one, and smile fondly. It wasn’t the right time now. They’d make amends later.

For now, they’d let the friends play and enjoy the peace that they’d sacrificed so much for.


	5. a Home for the Lost (why were they cast aside?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> None of it went to plan. 
> 
> Ranboo never planned on facing it, Tommy never planned on leaving, Fundy didn't plan on losing the one place where he belonged. Sam didn't plan on opening his house to a bunch of traumatized hybrids that would worm their way into his heart. 
> 
> And yet, here they were. Here they were, together. 
> 
> Maybe that was the best part of it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IS THIS IT????? IS THIS FLUFF???? PLEASE TELL ME IT IS PLEASE
> 
> Let me remind yall. platonic. platonic. platonic cuddlin. that is. let them be fren
> 
> (at least one more chapter bc ive fallen in love w this story. if this isnt fluff... i will try harder next chapter)

Ranboo started learning about everything that he’d missed, like how Tommy’s wings came to be and what people had been up to. Other things, he just noticed. He was very perceptive, and it only served to isolate him from everyone more. He could tell things that other people would rather not face, like how Tommy pretended that everything was fine with Phil and Techno and himself. How he pretended that they were a family, and as they relaxed together, how he would show his vulnerability. Ranboo would’ve bought the act that Tommy believed in wholeheartedly, if not for one thing.

Tommy never let them preen his wings.

So yeah, they could all pretend in their little dollhouse that everything was fine and that their relations were fixed, but it would never be perfect. They could believe it all they wanted, but subconsciously, they knew it’d never go back to the way it was before. Maybe that’s why they so desperately put on a show.

Ranboo noticed these things. All the time, to be honest.

He also noticed that slowly, after he had returned and told Tommy why he’d left, that Tommy drifted slightly from his old family. It wasn’t a bad thing, if a little sad, because he’d found another that believed in him and wanted the best for him instead of trying to make up for using him. 

On a different note in the same tune, Sam and Puffy were angels sent from heaven. Nothing could convince Ranboo otherwise. The way they had gently pushed Tommy in the right direction, understanding how messed up he’d been and knowing that harshness wasn’t the way to fix it. Maybe that’s why when they saw Ranboo accompanying Tommy on one of his visits, they recognized his unrest.

Ranboo knew they had a past, those three. He didn’t think Tommy realized it, but they’d adopted him. They’d decided that Phil wasn’t fit to be a father to anyone but Technoblade long ago, and he was amazed at the subtle way they’d taught him to be better. Maybe they were the reason, then, that he’d matured so much. Maybe they could be his family, too.

And they were.

Phil and Techno still received visits from Tommy every now and then, and Tubbo was over most of the time because at the end of the day they were still best friends, but in their own time they realized that maybe it was best to let bygones be bygones. They’d always be close, they’d always love each other, but maybe this time, the damage was done. In this case, it was okay. It was never mentioned, it was never brought up, but it was acknowledged by everyone. He couldn’t really cut them out, not that he wanted to, but he couldn’t have even if he did, not with the constant reminder on his back that he would always be Phil’s son.

Instead, Tommy spent most of his days at Sam’s base, and Ranboo spent most of his time with Tommy, so they ended up just hanging out with Sam and Puffy more than they intended. Maybe it was all part of the plan for the two older adults.

In any case, Ranboo grew closer and more comfortable with the other three, until soon, he wasn’t quiet and reserved anymore. He wasn’t scared of his own shadow, flinching at every footstep. He was Ranboo again, and he owed it to his family. Maybe, now that he’d healed, he’d be able to face the family he’d lost.

_______________

The summer afternoon found Tommy and Ranboo under a tree, half asleep and lazy, one writing and the other talking. It was hot, and muggy, but Sam had said that he needed to do some renovations and Puffy was away. Ranboo knew she was spending time with Niki, but he had yet to go with her to see his sister.

Did that technically make Ranboo Puffy’s sister-in-law? Or was Niki now his step-mother?

He didn’t want to think on it too much. It’d just make his head hurt.

Ranboo didn’t even completely know what Tommy was rambling about, but he smiled and nodded and he did truly enjoy it. Or, he enjoyed Tommy’s company. Was there a difference?

He zoned in when Tommy nudged his shoulder. “Hey, big man, you awake?”

Rolling his eyes, Ranboo responded. “I am now. What’s up?”

“Something I just remembered, Ranboo- I, now here’s a biggie-” Tommy paused for suspense. “I know how to fly a plane, but-”

“Hold on, you can fly a plane?” 

“Yeah,” Tommy shrugged. “I didn’t appear here, a 16 year old. I had other experiences. Anyway, I know how to fly a plane but I don’t know how to ride a bike.”

“A bike?”

Tommy mistook Ranboo’s confusion for mockery. “Yeah, big man. Phil never taught me. Who taught you, if you’re such a pro?”

“Tommy, I barely even know what a bike is.” Ranboo deadpanned.

So, now, the two young men, for that’s what they were at this point, stood outside of the base that they had been told to stay out of all day. Specifically, they were to stay out of it unless it was an emergency. Was this an emergency? See, that’s where it gets complicated.

“What kind of man my age doesn’t know how to ride a bike?” Tommy argued, “We need to learn and clearly, we haven’t got one. I think that Sam might. He strikes me as a bicycle kind of guy.”

“Neither of us are dying, though!” Ranboo protested. “He’ll probably get mad if we interrupt him, too. What’s he even doing?” 

Tommy groaned. “He’s just, I don’t know, building n’ shit. It’ll take two seconds, Ranboo,  _ come on _ -”

The large door opened, and though neither of them were short, they felt incredibly small. And nervous.

“Can I help you?” Sam asked, looking at his two- his uh, his two mentees. Yeah, that’s it. Mentees. That’s the word he’s looking for. Definitely not something else. At all.

The two- well, now, they looked like boys, - stared at him, anxiously, suddenly at a loss for words. 

“Well?” He raised an eyebrow. “I’m done with building, it didn’t take as long as I thought it would. What do you guys need?”

“We don’t know how to ride a-”

Tommy interrupted, “What Ranboo’s trying to say is, neither of us had spectacular father figures in our early life, and we don’t- well, really, we were wondering if you happened to have a bicycle anywhere here? I’m sure we can figure it out on our own, but we don’t have any bikes, is the issue-”

Sam laughed. “Yeah, I’m sure I’ve got a bike around here somewhere, come help me look.”

So, Sam turned and left, leaving Ranboo and Tommy to trail after him. Not like little ducklings. Not at all. More like, uh… more like… something else. Not ducklings.

After rummaging around a bit, they found one, and after a little more searching, they found another. None of them were sure why Sam, who lived alone, had two bikes (could he even ride them? He pleads the fifth. Why? You’ll find out later.), but they weren’t going to complain. Now, Ranboo and Tommy had thought that Sam would hand them the bikes and let them be off, but, to their surprise, he didn’t. He took the handles of one and walked with it over to a path.

“Hey Sam, why are you going over there?” Tommy yelled, still standing by the main entrance.

“Well, you aren’t going to bike on the grass, are you?”

Wordlessly, Ranboo and Tommy jogged to catch up. Sam stood on the pavement, holding one bike, as Ranboo walked up with the other. He handed his to Tommy, and clapped, bringing the attention back to him. 

“Alright! So, get on the bikes.” Both of the younger men knew what he was doing. They didn’t say anything, though, and obeyed. “So, when you bike, you have to stay balanced…”

They spent the afternoon learning how to ride bikes, and though it maybe wasn’t the most productive way to spend an afternoon, it was a fun and relaxing one that they all needed. It ended with Sam sitting in the grass next to the road while Tommy and Ranboo rode their bikes up and down it. They all chatted, and laughed, and they barely even heard Puffy return. At least, not until she spoke up.

“Hey guys, I’m back! And, I… I brought someone with me.”

Ranboo stopped his bike and turned to where the voice was coming from, stopping all movements abruptly. Sure, Puffy was standing there and he was happy to see her back, but right next to her, looking nervous, was Niki. Not his sister. She’d made sure of that. She was Niki, nothing more.

“Hi, Ranboo.” She said, not meeting his eyes. “It’s been a bit.”

When had Sam and Tommy left? “Yeah. Hi, Niki. What’re you doing here?” It came out harsher than he intended.

“I thought- well, I figured, now that we’ve both had a little more time to, to think about things, I thought that I could come and… apologize.”

It was a little quieter then. Niki was waiting for a response, and Ranboo was thinking of one. What did he want to do? As much as he wanted to forgive her, some of the things that she’d done couldn’t be glossed over.

“I… I forgive you.” Ranboo started, “But, Niki… Niki, you’ve got to understand, you hurt me. You hurt me a lot.”

Niki sighed. “I know. I know I did, Ranboo, but at the end of the day, aren’t you still my brother?”

His chest felt like it closed. Was he? “I’m not sure I am anymore, Niki. I don’t even know who you are.” He looked away from her crestfallen face. “But… I think I’d be willing to re-start.”

He looked back up, and Niki looked a little happier. A bittersweet cheerfulness. He held his arms open, and she ran over to give him a hug. Maybe they weren’t family anymore, but they could be. They just had to hope. This time, neither of them pulled away from the hug. They didn’t want to, but at some point, Puffy told them that it was going to get dark soon, so they needed to head inside.

Sam and Tommy were in the kitchen, making dinner, although only one of them was really working. 

Niki and Puffy stayed for dinner before heading home. It went great, and it was a very relaxed atmosphere. They chatted, made fun of Tommy when he was clumsy with his wings, and laughed every time someone made a joke. Ranboo was truly happy, and he hoped it lasted this time.

That night, when it was dark and the noises of the forest had all settled, Ranboo was thinking. “Hey, Sam, where’s the renovations you were working on this morning? I can’t tell a difference here-”

“Forget that, Ranboo,” Tommy said while yawning, wings hitting the hybrid gently. “We’ve gotta head out if we want to make it back to the cottage in time for a good night’s sleep.”

“Well, about that…” Sam said, laughing a little. “Follow me.” They did, and they followed him down a hallway to two doors, right next to each other. “Left is for Ranboo, right is for Tommy. I mean, you don’t have to use them, and obviously you can decorate them how you want to, but…”

They each opened their doors, and they were met with little bedrooms. Not too little, but not too large, each with a bed in a corner, a chest, and some other bits of furniture. “Did you make bedrooms for us?” Ranboo asked, and once Sam nodded, he grinned. “That’s great! Could we stay the night? Please?”

“That’s kind of what they’re here for.” Sam said, and he melted inside at the happy grins that Ranboo and Tommy exchanged. “I’ll let you guys get comfy, uh, goodnight?”

“Goodnight!” The other two cheered, nearly crushing Sam in a hug before going to their rooms.

By all means, it should’ve been a peaceful night, but when there’s a traumatized hybrid involved, you never know what to expect. That night, Ranboo’s dreams were plagued with nightmares, all violent and scary and  _ loud- _ he didn’t know exactly what was happening, but he knew that he was there with Fundy, on the ground and bleeding. He could feel the tears rolling down his face, this time they  _ burned _ again, with new vigor, and he was forced to look the fox in the eyes as they dimmed. He didn’t know why he started crying harder, but soon he turned to see who had killed his friend, and there stood Dream, hair long from his time in prison.

“It was only a matter of time until I escaped, Ranboo.” Dream taunted. “Ranboo!”

He was scared. Was he going to die?

“Ranboo, wake up!”

And, just like that, he sat up in bed, breathing heavily. Tommy was near, but that didn’t make sense, they didn’t share a room. What was Tommy doing here? Ranboo could feel wings circling around his body, comforting and warm, as he tried to calm down.

“You alright, Ranboo?”

He managed to nod, but it probably wasn’t convincing. He still couldn’t speak. Why couldn’t Dream just leave him alone?

“Am I okay to leave, or-”

“Can you stay?” His voice sounded small, even to him, and was hoarse from screaming in terror. Sam must’ve been a deep sleeper to not wake up.

“Sure thing, man.”

They went back to sleep, then, Ranboo curled in on himself with one of Tommy’s wings draped over him protectively. This time, they slept well, and when Sam went to wake them up the next morning, he did nothing but smile and walk away. He’d let them rest. They’d more than earned it.

When Ranboo’s eyes slipped open a few hours later, he let out a small sigh. He was warm, and he was happy, and he didn’t ever want to move. He was content to have stayed in bed for hours, but then he felt the blankets behind him shift. He let out a confused little warble that sounded remarkably like a cat getting its sleep interrupted.

“What was that?” Tommy groaned. “My ears aren’t started yet. Catch me in a few minutes.”

It was more than a few minutes before they got out of bed, hair wild and eyes still half-closed despite the sun that shone through the windows. Sam greeted them with a cheerful, “Hello,” to which they responded with a vague grunt. They were very articulate in the morning, it appeared. By all means, it should’ve been a dream. It should have been the best thing to happen to him in a while, and it was. But, Ranboo couldn’t shake the underlying feeling of dread that plagued his mind. 

“Ah, what do you want to do today, Ranboo?” Tommy asked loudly, sprawled out across the couch and head lolling back. 

Ranboo thought for a moment, the pit in his stomach growing. “I think that maybe we should go on a trip today, to… to uh, to visit Fundy.”

Tommy furrowed his eyebrows and lifted his head. “Fundy? As in, my nephew, Fundy?”

Nodding, Ranboo fidgeted with his hands. “Yeah. Is that okay?”

  
  


“‘Course it is, big man. You want to go now?”

Ranboo got up swiftly. “If that’s okay. I’ve got a bad feeling.”

They bid Sam goodbye, and went off towards Fundy’s house. It took them a while, because they had to ask Niki for the coords, but they found it eventually. Fundy lived in a village that had gone unnoticed, a peaceful haven that usually would’ve been somewhere for weary travelers to rest. Now, however, the air was thick with dust and there was no one to be seen. The first houses that Tommy and Ranboo found were nothing but ruin, the ashes still smoldering. It was only after a shrill horn could be heard that they realized what was happening.

There was a raid.

They broke into a run, swords pulled out. They yelled for Fundy, and the only response they got was the sound of the Illagers that they ran towards. 

Fighting seemed to go on forever as Ranboo and Tommy slashed at the enemy, backs to each other, until finally they got a chance to breathe. There weren’t as many, though still a lot. Ranboo tried to listen harder, trying to detect even a hint of life in one of the houses. When he heard a soft whimper, he grabbed Tommy’s hand and pulled him to it.

When they saw two Illagers standing over Fundy with their crossbows out, they didn’t hesitate to throw themselves forward. They looked up over the bodies, then, and their eyes softened when they saw how Fundy curled up into himself. He was so small, and he still had his eyes tightly shut.

Tommy got up and wiped his bloody hands on his pants before going over to Fundy. “Hey, Fundy. Is it alright if I touch you?” Tommy didn’t even really have to ask, because the minute Fundy saw the blond, he latched onto his arm. Ranboo hadn’t ever seen Tommy look so awkward, slowly putting his arms around the fox that really wasn’t all that younger than he was. 

They’d all had their childhoods stolen from them, it seemed. 

Fundy was inconsolable, and Tommy motioned for Ranboo to help. They seemed to have the same idea, when Ranboo gathered the fox into his arms and they walked outside to see the still-smoking ruins of all the houses. 

When Fundy stopped crying for a moment, and opened his eyes, he did nothing but utter a small, “Ranboo?”

“Yeah, it’s me.” Ranboo said, and was surprised when Fundy closed his eyes again to burrow further into his hold. 

Sam had to do a double-take when the boys got home. “Is that Fundy?” He asked, getting up quickly.

Tommy and Ranboo paused, like children who had been caught sneaking a pet indoors. Only, they were tall young men with a traumatized fox hybrid in their arms. Who, Sam soon learned, was now homeless.

“Please, can he stay with us Sam, please?” Tommy had pleaded, Ranboo standing near, still holding Fundy. “He’s got nowhere else to go, Sam,  _ please _ ?”

And, well, Sam took one look at his little brothers and had to concede. “Of course he can stay,” Sam said, already coming up for a plan for Fundy’s room.

Later that night, once Fundy had been told he was fine to stay and was sharing a room with Tommy (all three of the boys, for that’s how Sam fondly thought of them, ended up crammed into one bed by the morning, though, and neither of them knew which one of them had the nightmare. Maybe it was all three.), Sam let out a soft chuckle. 

He really was collecting a menagerie of fucked-up kids, wasn’t he? Only, they weren’t really kids anymore.

Well, he was growing his little family, and if no one else was going to let these kiddos heal, he would. They deserved the chances that war and adulthood had stolen from them. They deserved the love that he was set on giving them. 


	6. The More the Merrier (and a whisper of who he once was)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy brings home one. Ranboo and Fundy bring another. Sam knows that his kids are going to give him grey hair by the time they all decide to settle down, but he wouldn't have it any other way.
> 
> (but the additions bring questions. questions bring up a past. the past is never a good thing.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tried to write fluff, but it's me, so prepare for some angst lmao
> 
> WARNING: PAST SUICIDE ATTEMPT

_ Tommy stood above a large obsidian grid, staring down at the hole that had once been his home. It was all gone, now, and he couldn’t even manage to summon tears. It was too sudden for him. Too new.  _

_ He hated everyone who had done this to him. He hated them all, how each one had abandoned him in their own way. He knew some of them didn’t have a choice, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.  _

_ He hated Technoblade. He tried to, at least. He’d finally gotten back a small form of family, only for a second fuse to be lit. He was accused of stealing gifts, accused of betrayal for fighting for his home, fighting for the last connection to Wilbur, fighting for a place in the world that hated him so much. He hated his brother for making him fight when he should’ve been able to be a kid. _

_ He hated Philza. Not his dad. He had been left alone, so young, with nothing to cling to but the promise of seeing his father again. A promise that was broken. A promise that was only fulfilled years and years later, once Tommy had been raised by war and violence, feelings numbed by loss and pain. Philza hadn’t been the one to raise Tommy, Wilbur was. And Wilbur was taken from him. He hated Phil for giving him the gift of flight, a constant reminder of his family that he would never be able to get rid of, that no one even bothered to find out about. _

_ He hated Dream. He really did. Tommy had been manipulated, and broken down, and tricked, but no one had learned of it. He was alone, and Dream stood by his shoulder to oversee the ruins that he’d torn down. The ruins of what? Tommy’s life? His mind? His wings, messy and missing feathers from the explosions? Tommy hated Dream with a passion, but by then, the anger had gotten so hot that it numbed him. He felt nothing but the pulse of his heart that sometimes he wished wasn’t so loud. Maybe it’d all be easier if it stopped. _

_ But, most of all, he hated himself. He hated that he’d just let it all happen, and he hated that he still breathed the air, however dusty and blood-scented it was. The only thing he felt that was stronger than the hate now was fear. Not for himself.  _

_ Where was Tubbo? Was he okay? He needed to get to Tubbo. _

Tommy woke up in a cold sweat, breathing heavy. He was alone in his room, meaning that Fundy had probably gone over to Ranboo’s. He almost followed, but his mind was hazy and he needed someone else. He needed someone that wasn’t there, but maybe if he left-

Could he leave?

Of course he could. This wasn’t exile. Dream wasn’t here. Dream was in prison. Dream wouldn’t hurt him anymore. Dream couldn’t. Could he? 

He needed to leave.

Tommy clambered out of bed, feet hitting the cold floor and he paced over to where he kept his boots. His hand ghosted over his coat, but he left it behind. He needed his wings out. The coat would slow him down. He got outside as quietly as possible, hoping that he didn’t wake up anyone. The grass was shining with dew, and it would’ve seemed almost mystical if he’d bothered to notice it.

Instead, he unfurled his wings. They weren’t in the best of shape, as they hadn’t been preened in a while. Had they ever been? He couldn’t spend time thinking about that. He needed to leave. Tommy paused for a moment, relishing in the breeze ruffling through his feathers before he leapt up and caught the wind, flapping his wings to gain height. 

It had been a long time since he’d flown. He usually didn’t, what with Dream’s no-flying policy, but Dream couldn’t stop him now. He didn’t think anything could stop him. He needed to go.

Tommy ignored the large black prison that came into his view, and focused on the suddenly brisk wind that hit his face and made him cold. Maybe he should’ve brought that coat. He let his mind wander until his feet hit the snowy ground, making a slight crunch that shook him from his thoughts. 

Maybe he was imagining it, but he could’ve sworn that he heard yelling as he neared Snowchester. The closer he got, the more a feeling of dread pooling in his stomach. As he got closer, he could hear it.

“Why now, after all this time?” That was Tubbo. Was he okay? Hurry. “I thought we were friends! I thought that everyone was peaceful! Why stop now?”

Another voice spoke up. “Well, Niki left, so I figured that it was over. But then, I thought about it. I acted. I faked everyone out, got an alibi. No one will even think I was here. I want to kill Tommy, but that would be too kind. But what better way to make him suffer worse, than by killing you?”

Tommy didn’t have time to register who it was before his blood ran cold. He broke into a sprint and burst into the cottage, throwing his wings out to protect Tubbo from the sword that was brought down. He didn’t have any weapons, but he needed to save Tubbo.

He felt the blade slice the feathers on his wings, and the soft trickle of blood that followed. 

He opened his eyes and saw Tubbo, cowering, blood on his face and eyes shocked. He knew that whoever was threatening him was still there.

Tommy turned around.

Jack Manifold stood there, sword still loosely held in his hands. 

“You want to kill me?” Tommy rasped, voice rough from the sleep that he’d woken from not that longs ago. “You’re gonna need more than a sword. I’ve tried.” Jack looked horrified, and Tommy managed a broken grin. “That was a while ago, though. Maybe it’d work now, but no matter how many times I killed myself back then, I kept coming back. Some cruel trick that Dream played, probably.” The blood was flowing from his wing heavier now, and the world was tilting. His brain was fuzzy. 

He didn’t remember falling on the ground or when Tubbo moved to look at him, but it happened. Tubbo looked scared. He was saying something that Tommy couldn’t hear. Why was Tubbo sad?

“Don’t be sad.” Tommy mumbled. “Ask Sam to make you hot chocolate. It’s the best. It’ll make you happy.” Why was Tubbo crying?

* * *

Sam didn’t expect to be woken up very early, and even if it was, he wasn’t expecting it to be Tubbo calling him. He reached across to the nightstand and grabbed his communicator, accepting the call.

“Hello?”

Tubbo sounded like he was crying. “Sam! Thank God, Sam. Tommy- Tommy’s here and he’s bleeding, Sam help him, please, Sam what do I do? How do I stop it?”

Sam was fully awake now, leaping to put on his shoes. “Put pressure on the wound, Tubbo. You need to breathe, bud. Where are you?” He heard Tubbo take a few deep breaths.

“We’re in Snowchester.”

Though Tubbo couldn’t see it, he nodded, and grabbed his trident. “I’ll be there soon, Tubbo, okay? Breathe. Do you want me to stay on call?”

Tubbo said that he didn’t have to, so Sam ended the call and left the house. He looked up and was grateful to the rain, which would let him travel much faster.

He reached Snowchester and didn’t stop running until he saw Tubbo and Tommy. He thought the wound would be on Tommy’s body, but instead, the blood was all dried on his feathers. Was he even qualified to work with wings?

Sam considered calling Philza, but instead he did some quick research, stuff about blood feathers, or something. He wouldn’t bother Phil. There was no reason to bother Phil. He didn’t particularly trust the winged man, either.

Tubbo was still shaking, so Sam knelt next to him. “Hey, Tubs, I need you to breathe. This isn’t as serious as it looks, okay? It’ll heal. Tommy’s going to be okay.” It would take time, but it would be fine.

Eventually, he got Tubbo to calm down, and he moved to Tommy. He had probably just passed out from exhaustion, because Sam had been noticing he wasn’t getting much sleep. The feathers that had been broken weren’t all bleeding, and the ones that were had slowed. Tubbo had done well in putting pressure on the wounds, so there really wasn’t much he could do, other than get Tommy back home. 

It took some thinking, but then Sam began to move. Using some bandages that he’d brought, he folded Tommy’s wings and bound them into a sort of sling, then gathered Tommy’s long limbs into his arms. He stood up, and went to leave before he noticed Tubbo still trembling in a ball on the ground.

“Hey, Tubbo?” He waited until Tubbo looked up. “Do you want to come with me? I’ve got a spare room that you can stay in as long as you want.” Tubbo didn’t need to know that it was actually for him.

Tubbo stood up shakily, and nodded. “I just want to make sure he’s okay.”

Sam managed to hold Tommy with one hand, and held the other out to Tubbo. Slowly, they made it home, where they belonged.

When they opened the door, Fundy and Ranboo were waiting anxiously. They wanted to ask questions, but they stopped when they saw Tommy, passed out and thrown over Sam’s shoulder. There were more important things to worry about. 

Sam put Tommy back in his bed, and went to tend to Tubbo. He had some cuts that he had been trying to hide, but Sam noticed that type of thing. He had to, with the collection of self-sacrificing people he was housing.

Once Tubbo was all set, Sam let him go to Tubbo’s room. They’d been separated long enough. Sam left and went to where Ranboo and Fundy were waiting, questions barely pushed down.

He answered them as best he could, but soon enough, he was passed out on his bed, ready to sleep for another few hours.

Being a brother- dad? Was exhausting.

* * *

Tommy woke up, ears blearily looking around. A head of brown hair was tucked into his side, and as he laid there, the memories came flooding back. He sighed, and went to put a wing around Tubbo before realizing that his wings had been bandaged. He stifled a groan, but it woke Tubbo up anyway.

“Are you okay?” Tubbo asked, and Tommy winced. He hadn’t meant to spill his guts on everything that he had felt back then. He hadn’t meant to open old wounds.

“I’m fine,” Tommy smiled, but he could tell Tubbo didn’t buy it. 

“But do you know it’s okay if you’re not?”

Tommy hugged Tubbo, melting into the hold. They stayed that way for a while, and they didn’t say anything when they felt their shirts getting damp or the way the other’s shoulders shook. They had each other, and they always would. 

They always would. They were one constant in their lives, but had yet to realize that the other constants were waiting in the living room.

A few days later, once Sam had declared that Tommy’s wings had healed enough, Sam removed the bandages. He winced at how awful the feathers looked, though they had been cleansed of any blood. 

“Hey Tommy, is it alright if I try to fix these? They look like they haven’t been organized in ages.”

“Sure, I guess.” Tommy shrugged. 

Tommy didn’t know what he’d been thinking it would feel like. Even if he thought he did know, he would’ve been wrong.

The minute Sam had started laying feathers flat and just touching his wings, Tommy melted. He tried not to, but it just felt so  _ nice _ …

Sam chuckled. “Do you like this?”

Tommy wanted to yell at him for making fun of him, but all he could do was let out a soft crooning and hope that he was still sitting up. His mind was already half put to sleep, but if he fell asleep the feeling would stop. He needed to stay awake.

He leaned into the touch a little bit too much, he supposed, because Sam called someone over for Tommy to lean on instead. He buried his face into the chest of whoever it was, and- was he purring? It was more a slight growl, but of contentment, and he gave a little whine when Sam stopped preening his wings. 

He continued purring when the preening started again. Part of his brain thought he was making a fool of himself, but the bird part of his brain overruled it. 

Eventually the actual preening stopped, but he complained so much at the loss of contact that he guessed they started up again, not actually doing anything, just stroking the feathers. Soon, his mind was gone and all he wanted was more of the nice feeling he felt. Was it safety?

When the movement of feathers stopped again, Tommy sleepily turned around. It was a little awkward, considering they were on a couch, but he curled into the side of whoever had been preening him. He didn’t even remember at this point, but he trusted them. 

Sam looked down at the mess of blond hair that was on top of him. Not crushing, but it was unexpected. He couldn’t stop the audible “Aww,” that he let out, because the normally stoic young man had just turned to mush the minute Sam started touching his wings. 

Sam knew that once Tommy woke up again he’d hate how vulnerable he’d been, but a part of him was just happy that it’d happened.

Tommy’s wings moved around Sam, and he could do nothing but grin widely. Maybe taking care of his boys was worth it, despite the fact that he’d go grey within a year. 

Tubbo stood by, laughing, but lifted Tommy’s legs and sat down. Ranboo and Fundy joined later, though there wasn’t a whole lot of room on the couch. Ranboo squeezed in beside Tubbo and Fundy curled up over them, and they all napped in the lazy heat of the afternoon.

Sam almost drifted to sleep, and the thought that he had before he did was that there was one more person that he needed to save. His job wasn’t quite done yet. All in due time, though. 

All in due time.

* * *

It was another few days later when Ranboo got out of the house. He took Fundy with him, because they were working past their issues. It was taking time, but they were almost there. 

They went into the forest to chat, just about their feelings in general, and it was a little cooler in the shade anyway.

“I just…” Fundy was saying, “I felt so upset, since everyone had abandoned me. We used to be such good friends and it really hurt when you took off too, only to return and be accepted no problem, when I had to fight tooth and nail to even hang out with them a little.”

Ranboo nodded. “I was really stressed out, since you were so angry and Niki was too, and I thought that I finally had people who cared about me, then I heard them talking about how they wanted to use me to their advantage. I figured if they didn’t love me, no one would, because they were the only ones to ask if I was okay after everything.”

Fundy looked pained. “But I did love you. I do.”

Some poor memory of a smile passed over Ranboo’s face. “You didn’t really show it though, did you?”

It was quiet, then, as they both sat in the grass, reminiscing of times that really weren’t better. 

Fundy spoke again. “Maybe we should focus on the future rather than the past. Move on, work on forgiving rather than arguing whose right or wrong.”

Ranboo went to agree, when the sound of twigs snapping was heard behind them. A young man stumbled into their clearing clutching his side, only to collapse with a grunt. They saw the shock of blond hair and thought it was Tommy, but he was missing the telltale dark wings. Regardless, they rushed over and turned him over. 

“Purpled?”

He only responded with a groan, and Ranboo moved his hand to check on the clear wound that Purpled had been hiding. The hybrid sucked air through his teeth and hissed in sympathy. 

“I haven’t seen Purpled in ages,” Fundy said worriedly. “How long has he been alone?”

Ranboo met the fox’s eyes, but didn’t acknowledge the question. He didn’t want to think about it. “I’m going to pick him up. We need to bring him back home.”

“Is that safe? Can he be moved?”

“We don’t really have a choice, Fundy.”

Purpled was far too light, once Ranboo had lifted him, and they went as fast as they could back to the base. If they had listened a little closer, or focused on something other than the injured boy, maybe they would’ve heard the slight noises of someone else in the woods behind them. Watching. Waiting. Following.

They made it to Sam’s house. Their home. Sam had seen them coming, and he saw something on the treeline behind his boys. He opened the door for them. “Get him inside, I need to deal with something first.” He had said, grabbing his armor and weapons. 

He had locked the door behind them.

Sam walked into the forest a little ways, then stopped. “I know you’re here. You might as well show yourself.” It was silent except for the occasional gentle leaf blowing across the ground. He stayed for a moment longer before leaving. He would investigate later, if he remembered to.

Sam let himself fall into the routine of cleaning and dressing Purpled’s wound, and once he was done, finally breathed for a moment. He had to smile, because he was safe. His boys were safe. All of them. He’d saved them all, and he would let them have the childhood’s that had been unrightfully stolen from them. 

When he left to tell the others that Purpled would be fine, he saw Tubbo asleep on Tommy’s lap, with Tommy laughing at him. Sam grinned and leaned against the door frame. 

“I don’t think you can talk much, Tommy. You were gone the minute I touched your wings.”

Tommy spluttered indignantly. “That’s not true! I am a big man! I don’t need your help!”

“Would you like me to do it again, though?”

Tommy quieted and looked up. “Yes please.”

Fundy and Ranboo, who had wandered into the room, laughed at that, and so with permission from Tommy, all three of them began to groom his wings. Tommy was a purring mess within seconds, and the afternoon was spent waiting for their new addition to the family to wake up.

They all had questions that needed answers, but their family was more important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new storyline pog??? who was creepin in the forest??? will i ever write just a chapter of fluff?? how much research did i do on whether or not bird's wings bleed and if they purr???
> 
> will we ever know?


	7. An Arena to Watch Your Sins Fight (will they ever be free?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Purpled wakes up, and they have a discussion on where he'd been. (he hates his past)  
> Ranboo looks around and realizes that this family is the best thing to happen to its members. (he needs it, too)  
> Puffy snitches on how much Sam actually cares. (she does, as well)  
> (and sam? sam finally snaps. but they don't have to know about that)

Purpled woke up a day later. It was unexpected, mainly because he just… woke up out of nowhere. It had been a pretty slow day until that point, then he stumbled out of the room that he’d been put in, eyes glossy and breath panicked. 

Sam stood up immediately. “Whoa, hey, buddy. Are you okay? What are you doing up?”

Purpled had just looked up at him, no recognition in his eyes. “What..? Where am I?”

“You’re at my base, in the Dream SMP. Do you remember who I am?” Sam asked, putting an arm around him and guiding him to the couch. He removed his arm quickly though, at the flinch from Purpled.

“Yeah… you’re Sam, but… how did I get away?” 

“Get away from what?” Ranboo asked, just entering the room. “Fundy and I were hanging out in the woods and you just collapsed in front of us.”

Purpled appeared to get agitated. “I… Why’d they let me go?”

“Who?” Sam said softly. There was no response. “Hey, just start at the beginning if you want to, okay? Where were you… let’s start with what you remember, okay? What’s the first thing you remember?”

He gulped. “I remember Tommy and Tubbo leaving to… to go fight Dream. They were going to say goodbye to everyone, but I didn’t show up.”

Sam’s eyebrows furrowed. “Purp, that was years ago.”

The younger man nodded. “Yeah. I, uh, I left after that because I didn’t want to be there… I didn’t want to be there when Dream brought their bodies back.” Ranboo had left, and brought back the rest of the people who lived there. Purpled looked shocked to see Tommy and Tubbo. “How did you survive?”

Tommy shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. I can tell you later. What’s going on?”

“He’s telling us where he’s been.” Sam said, and motioned for Purpled to continue. “Go ahead.”

“I… I went to the Bedwars server to try and clear my mind a bit, get some practice. Take a break from this SMP, and such, but after one of the games…” He started shaking a bit, and Sam wanted to hug him, but held back. If the other physical contact was any indication, Purpled wouldn't appreciate it.

“You don’t have to continue if you don’t want to.”

He still did. The memories were coming back, faster now. He almost wished they didn’t, because they weren’t pleasant. “After one of the games, a group of men approached me.”

* * *

_ Purpled sighed, wiping the sweat from his brow. It had been a tough game, and he was tired. He just wanted to go home, wherever that was. Did he even have one? He wandered over to collect his prize, though he’d probably end up giving it to someone else since he didn’t really need it. It’d just get stolen from one of his chests in the SMP, anyway. _

_ After, he stumbled towards the lobby with the intent of joining another game. He probably should’ve stopped a while ago. Maybe that’s why he couldn’t stop what happened next.  _

_ Three men went up to him while he caught his breath on a bench. One of them had a long beard, and he was the one who spoke. “You look pretty tired, ay? I saw you fighting though, you look like a pro for someone so young.” _

_ Purpled straightened his posture in an effort to look somewhat lively. “I’m not that tired. Thanks, though, I appreciate it.” _

_ One of the others, the one with a sick moustache, held out a water bottle. “Here, you want a drink?” _

_ His mind was already foggy enough that he didn’t remember all of the warnings that he’d been told since he was young of the group that kidnapped Bedwars players to make them compete in illegal fighter rings. Purpled took the water, drinking it. Almost immediately, his legs started to give out. What kind of a potion was the water laced with? _

_ “Whoa there, let me help you.” _

_ Purpled didn’t know which one said that. He feebly tried hitting at them, but he could barely move. He wanted to sleep, but he couldn’t. His nerves were going haywire, someone was taking his arm, he had to move-”  _

_ He blacked out. _

_ He woke up in a cell, and as his mind slowly came back to him, the panic set in. He knew the answers to all his questions, but he didn’t like it. It seemed like ages, but at some point, someone finally came to see him. _

_ “Purpled, ay?” It was the one with the beard. He chuckled at Purpled’s silence. “Not much of a talker, huh? Well, I hope you’re more of a fighter in the arena than you were when we grabbed you, otherwise I might have to get a new source for information.” _

_ “What?”  _

_ The beard-man smiled. “Ah, he speaks! Well, I’ve got a source that told me you were a formidable competitor, and wouldn’t be all that missed, so having a fighter from the famous Dream SMP will bring in the big bucks. I’m taking chances with you, none of the others wanted to nab a kid. Somethin’ about morals.” _

_ Purpled scowled. “What happens if I refuse to fight, or if someone comes to find me?” _

_ “I don’t think that you’ll find either of those an issue. We’re well secluded, and if you don’t fight, well,” The beard-man held a sword to Purpled’s throat. “Suddenly it won’t be much of my issue, anyway, will it?” _

_ Purpled swallowed thickly and fell silent. He hoped someone would look for him, maybe.  _

_ They didn’t.  _

_ Each competition was it’s own little hell. He tried to fight the first time he was brought out of the cell, but they learned that it was just easier to drug him. He’d wake up in a base, in an arena surrounded by an audience, and when the shrill alarm went off, the fighting began. The first few times, Purpled would refuse to fight, but he learned that the pain that came afterward wasn’t worth it. He grew used to looking away from his opponents. He hated seeing the light dim, knowing what they would go through for failing to win. _

_ Better them than him, though. In this world, it was kill or be tortured. He was never given the luxury of death to dull the pain.  _

_ He quickly rose in the ranks, challenging the best fighters in this underground arena. As he improved, so did the security. He learned to only use enough of his abilities to win. He’d let them underestimate him, because if no one was coming to rescue him, he’d have to do it himself.  _

_ The first time he tried to escape was during a competition. About half-way through, when security was the weakest, he barged through the doors and overpowered the guards. He got pretty far, but he was tackled and hauled back to his cell in a muzzle and a straitjacket. He wasn’t given food for a while. He wasn’t even visited.  _

_ The next time he saw someone, it was when they grabbed him to fight again. They had kept him constrained, so they didn’t bother with the drugs, which he liked. He felt alive again.  _

_ He tried to get away again, and though he was stronger, the security was better. He managed to exit the stadium, only to be shot down. He was dragged back to his cell by his hair, which was greasy and dirty by now. They’d taken the arrow out of his leg, but they weren’t too gentle about it and didn’t bother bandaging it. He spent that night shivering, hands still bound, wondering if this was where he died, in a puddle of his own blood. _

_ A medic came the next morning. They couldn’t have their biggest source of money dead, but they could let him suffer.  _

_ He won the next competition, and the one after that, and the one after that. He didn’t hesitate anymore. It wasn’t worth it. He was hurt for any pausing of his blade, and it was just easier to win.  _

_ Purpled became the crowd favorite. The noise of their cheers hurt his ears, and soon, he was broken. He came out of his cell willingly, he wasn’t tied up for movement, he just walked with his guards to the arena. He barely remembered life before the fighting ring. _

_ It was only after he blacked out during a competition, woke up surrounded by bodies and liked it, that he realized he needed to leave. He would lose himself if he stayed any longer, and he was all he had left. _

_ He started putting a plan together, but it took time for him to finally escape. He started blacking out more, waking up victorious. He started smiling at the bloodstains on his clothes. He hated himself for it. He knew his opponents would just respawn, but the punishment they faced for losing would be worse than death.  _

_ Everything started to be worse than death. Maybe even life.  _

_ Purpled took a different approach to escape the third time. It was years after he’d been taken. He doubted anyone outside even knew his name anymore. He waited until he’d won the competition to start going through the doors. They only sent one guard, because they thought he was compliant.  _

_ He walked slowly, as if defeated. When he saw the big double doors, he sprinted. He had a head start, and the guard was taken by surprise. He took out a knife that he’d bought and hidden, and when he heard the footsteps behind him as he approached the portal to leave the arena, he held it out. _

_ He spoke for the first time in what felt like forever. His voice was gravelly. “I know how much I am to you.” He flipped the blade to rest against his side. A stab there wouldn’t be fatal, but anything else would. They wouldn’t be able to hurt him if he stabbed himself, because they would risk him respawning alone, while everyone was here. “No one get closer, or I’ll do it.” _

_ Purpled stepped into the portal. He set his destination as the Dream SMP. Maybe he’d be safe there.  _

_ He made it pretty far until he heard someone chasing him. He didn’t hesitate, and plunged the blade into his side. It hurt like a bitch, but he needed to escape. Adrenaline flooded his body as the blood flowed out, and he heard a voice yell at everyone to stop running after him. If he died and respawned, they’d need people back in the Bedwars server to catch him.  _

_ Purpled ran into the nearest forest he could find, hoping to lose the people still chasing him. He must’ve succeeded, and then he was just running blindly with no destination.  _

_ His side was bleeding still, and his head was starting to become fuzzy again. Distantly, he heard voices, but they sounded soft. Not harsh. He took his chances and stumbled towards them.  _

_ He emerged from the trees, and could feel himself fall. The voices sounded miles away, but he heard his name. The darkness called to him, and this time, he had hope that it would be better when he woke up. _

* * *

“And, yeah. Then I woke up here.” Purpled laughed nervously. 

Sam exhaled slowly. “I can’t believe no one noticed how long you’d been gone. I’m so sorry, I should’ve realized.”

Purpled shrugged. “Not really your fault.”

It was silent for a moment, and Ranboo couldn’t help but sympathize with Purpled. He’d heard stories of the illegal fighting, but he never thought he’d know someone affected by it. He was horrified. 

As he looked around the room, Ranboo realized that so was everyone else. He was a very good noticer, he liked to think. He saw that everyone in the room was messed up in their own ways, but their dysfunctional family was a place for them to find comfort, recovery, and peace.

He saw it in Fundy, in the way that he always made himself smaller when someone raised their voice, and how he never liked to be left alone in the house, but he loved to curl up at the foot of one of the beds in the bedroom that everyone shared despite there being plenty of others. 

He saw it in Tommy and Tubbo and the way their eyes would get glassy while they dreamed and show reflections of battlefields and violence. He saw every time Tubbo woke up with a gasp from dreams colored red, white, and blue, and reached for Tommy. Tubbo would begin preening Tommy’s wings for comfort, slow and meticulously. Tommy always let his family touch his wings, but anyone else would get snarled at. When Tommy woke up to Tubbo petting his feathers, he always would wrap one around the smaller boy and snuggle back into the blankets. Their breathing was softer after that, when they clung to the other as if they would disappear. 

He saw it in Purpled, especially, in the next few days. Purpled always froze when someone touched him, and insisted on getting his own food, but he fit into the family dynamic well. He liked movie nights especially, particularly stupid comedies that made him laugh. Purpled let down his guard in the walls of Sam’s house, and didn’t feel the need to constantly be armed. He wasn’t scared of blacking out or liking the smell of blood.

He even saw it in himself. He wasn’t worried about being abandoned again, he wasn’t scared of his powers. He might forget to speak English in the mornings every now and then, he might wake up crying and need help to stop, but he let himself fall into the embrace of his family when he needed the help. There was always someone to help me.

He maybe saw it in Sam the most. No one was completely sure of Sam’s past, but the way he hissed every time someone startled him, or tried to hide how he coughed up gunpowder occasionally probably had something to do with it. Sam was so focused on building, whether it be with materials or a safe family, that there had to be something in his past with destruction. No one asked, though. They just leaned against his shoulder whenever he wedged himself on the couch between them.

Ranboo’s mind wandered further. He hadn’t seen Puffy or Niki in a few days, and though he wasn’t concerned, he missed them. 

“I think I’m going to see Puffy this afternoon. Does anyone want to come with me?” He asked, breaking the lengthy silence that had settled over the room. They were all just lounging, but Sam was looking out the window towards the woods. He was letting out a soft sizzling noise, and walked towards the door.

“I don’t think so, Ran. You wanna walk with me a little bit, though?” Sam asked, and Ranboo got up to follow.

“What you looking at, big man?” Ranboo asked, trying to ignore how Tommy was rubbing off on him.

“Oh, just thought I saw something that I want to double check, and you’re going this way anyway.”

They reached the edge of the forest, and Sam held out a hand to make Ranboo stop walking. He looked around a little, then lunged towards one of the bushes. He came out with one hand grasped around the collar of a man with a large moustache. 

“So you were the one I heard the other day. Are you one of the people who were hunting Purpled?” Sam hissed, and Ranboo knew his throat was burning with the feeling of gunpowder. 

The man flinched at the harshness of Sam’s voice. “I was just looking for him. He’s been staying with us for a while and he ran off, we were hoping you knew where he went?”

Sam crouched and squinted. “How much of an idiot do you think I am?” Ranboo was surprised at the coldness in Sam’s voice. “You’re lucky I don’t kill you right here for how much you hurt him. You’re lucky I don’t just slit your throat for coming here and threatening the safety of my family.”

The man cowered. “He doesn’t have any family. I don’t even know who you are.”

Sam laughed, but it wasn’t the kind one that Ranboo knew. This chuckle was harsh and unforgiving. “You wouldn’t have a reason to. I tend to stay in the shadows until something needs to be done. I suggest you leave now, and I suggest you don’t come back.”

Ranboo liked to think that he knew what Sam was planning on. So, once Sam had stood back up and let the man go, he asked, “How long of a head start are you giving him?”

Sam laughed and started leaving. “Not long.”

( _ Sam was gone for awhile. They got the news a few days later that someone had gotten into one of the fighting rings and dismantled the entire operation. No one was sure how, nor who it was. One was dead: the man with the long beard. There were small holes from explosions, and the air smelled of gunpowder. No one would come for Purpled after that.) _

Ranboo shrugged and continued on his journey, eventually finding himself on the steps of Puffy and Niki’s house. He knocked on the door, and Niki opened it with a smile and pulled him into a hug. “Hey, Boo! It’s been a hot minute, where’ve you been?” 

“Just hanging out! Tubbo, Fundy, and Purpled have joined us, so the bedroom is getting a little crowded.”

Puffy walked over as Ranboo was ushered into the house. “Didn’t he spend an entire day renovating his base to have bedrooms for all of you guys though? I remember he showed me blueprints and they all had names on them.”

Ranboo paused. “You mean… He planned on housing us?”

Puffy shrugged. “Yeah, it was either him or me. We figured all you guys deserve a break, some peace, after all you’ve been through.”

Ranboo hummed. “Interesting.”

“Just don’t bring it up to him, though.” Niki piped up. “He’ll never admit to it. Too humble. Tea?”

“Yes, please, dear!” Puffy said, and Ranboo said he’d have some too. It was incredibly domestic, just sitting at the dining room table, sipping tea, and talking about everything. Niki mentioned how she was working on a garden, and Puffy said she was going to make an apiary, so Ranboo sat and listened to them chatting. 

He told them about the new additions to the family, and they said they’d have to bake cookies for them or something. They ended up making brownies that afternoon, and Ranboo helped. By the time they finished, it was dark, so the two women convinced Ranboo to stay the night and they’d go with him to deliver the brownies in the morning.

When the group of three did go back to Sam’s house, they stayed for most of the day. Why would they leave, when the couch was so comfy, and the laughs were plenty, and Tommy’s wings needed preening?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what would you like to see in this story? I realized that it was straying from the original Ranboo pov so I tried to stick with it a little more this chapter :) 
> 
> ooh whats goin on with sam?


	8. A Touch Too Close to Insanity (and the comfort of a family written in the stars)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The castle has fallen and so have the skies, but which one of them is the Atlas that keeps it up? Is it the traveler, who carries the burden of what was undone but is forever in his mind, or is it the one that, without, the world would have ended in fire long ago?
> 
> or, Ranboo picks up more strays. (ft. family fluff)

Ranboo didn’t like being alone. He doubted anyone else truly did, either. They might seek out a space of their own, they might avoid contact for a day, but in the end, they came back. The thing was, after all they’d been through, the line between alone and lonely was growing as thin as the good graces of the gods.

So, Ranboo did his best to make sure that no one was alone for long. He could tell when people needed longer to gather their thoughts, but he made sure to intervene before they spiraled. He made sure to intervene before it was too late. 

Sometimes this extended to people outside of his family, and sometimes, he was late. Not too late, but certainly overdue.

The sun was shining, and Ranboo had woken up with restless limbs. He needed to leave his room, he needed to leave this little hole in the wall. Not permanently, just for a break.

After he yelled out a goodbye to Sam and was answered back several times over, Ranboo took a stroll down memory lane in the form of a thin wood path that was worn and old. There were places where he had to step over rotting planks, and he didn’t entirely trust it, but the buildings that lined it brought him to a different time. He’d changed since then, so had his surroundings, and though he was happy, a part of him wished for simpler times. 

Were they simple? Or was his mind just lying to him? He wasn’t sure anymore.

Ranboo paused at the end of a giant crater, the huge flag set at the bottom still waving. He managed a weak smile, and thought of the times that he hadn’t been a part of. Did the others miss those times? Or was his mind just coming up with reasons to pity himself? He wasn’t sure. He never had been.

He turned when his eyes started watering with the tears he’d never shed back then, and his eyes landed on a castle.  _ The _ castle, he supposed. Eret’s. The beacons had long since stopped shining, and the walls were crumbling. No maintenance had been kept up, and it showed. It really was a shame that such a beautiful thing had fallen, but so seemed the theme of this story.

His legs moved without him telling them to, bringing him to the entrance. He walked past the towers that once had stood tall and proud, but now bowed to the power of wind and rain. The staircase that brought him to the castle was full of loose stones, and the grass was overgrown. He frowned at the state it was in. Hadn’t Eret been looking after it?

There were holes in the structure, as if there had been smaller explosions, or maybe just a really strong fist. Anger can change people. 

Eyebrows furrowing, he raised a fist to knock on the door. Maybe someone was there.

The door swung open when he brought his hand down. A wave of dust flew into the air, making him cough. When he recovered from his coughing fit, he continued down the hall to the throne room, feeling as if he was intruding.

All signs should’ve pointed to something. That something was wrong, not completely conforming to the rest of the narrative.

Footsteps in the dust that was so thick they could only be recent. Dried drops of red on the stone. The lack of wildlife in the building when the entrance was open. And, if he listened hard enough, the ragged breath that could only be that of an injured human. 

It took a while for Ranboo’s eyes to adjust to the darkness of the throne room. In the pitch black, he could almost see the ghosts of the memories running through the halls, laughter and chatter filling them with painful reminders of times that would never return. All he saw, though, was a crumbling throne. And, on top of it, a crumbling king.

“Eret?” He whispered, scared to get closer.

Eret, if that was who it was anymore, looked up. Their breathing was ragged and pained, their voice low and filled with emotion. “Ranboo?”

Ranboo walked closer, even daring to walk up the slight stairs to the throne to put a hand on Eret’s shoulder. “What happened to you?”

“What didn’t?” The laugh that followed was bitter and grateful at the same time. Bitter at what he’d done, grateful that everything had happened to him and not someone else. “Creepers, skeletons, other mobs. Myself. Time. No one cares about me anymore, Ranboo. The castle is dark. Nothing matters anymore. It used to be so beautiful, Ranboo, and now it’s all dark.”

The castle was dark, but as Ranboo looked into Eret’s eyes, it wasn’t the only thing. “What do you mean? Didn’t you get a fresh start after Dream was imprisoned? Tommy and Tubbo forgave you. They did a long time ago, I think.”

Eret let out a laugh that sounded a touch too close to insanity. She was still hunched over the throne that had stopped being a comfort a long time in the past, a curse remaining from times that had faded. “I was forgiven by everyone. Almost, at least. I was forgiven by everyone that mattered, anyway. I was forgiven by them, yes, but not by myself. And now? I pay the price for what I did.”

Ranboo moved closer, and he could see himself in the reflection. Not just in Eret’s tarnished crown, the metal showing his face and his concern. Not just in their eyes, that looked up at him, hopelessly, begging him silently for a reason to stay alive. Not just in their shaking body that brought him back to the panic room, but in his soul. Eret’s soul was dark and unmoving, a flame gone out. A flame that had once burned so bright that it brought the world down with it.

Maybe they weren’t so different, after all.

The hybrid held out his arms and gathered Eret into a hug, tightening it when his body began to shake with the emotion that years in isolation had kept him from showing.

“Tommy and I used to be so close. He’d make these stupid paper crowns that always got ruined in the rain, but he’d run back inside and make more. He followed me around. I like to think that we were like brothers,” Eret’s voice cracked. “But then I went and ruined it, for a title that was never even real in the first place. And then, in Dream’s cavern, he hid behind me first, and I thought that maybe we’d get back what we had. But I saw him with Techno. Sam. Tubbo. He didn’t need me anymore. I thought that he’d need me just as much as I needed him, but when I plunged a knife into his back, he was the one that healed it when I should’ve. He’d grown up without me, and he would never need me back as much as I needed him. It hurt.”

Ranboo hummed, but stopped when his hand hit something damp. He pulled his hand back and to his horror, blood stained the fingertips. “Eret? Are you alright?”

Eret cackled. “I never was, Ranboo. I never was. They all realized that when they stopped visiting, or they would’ve, if they’d bother to check on me. But they didn’t. I was a whisper in an orchestra of tragedy, and no one heard me. Why would they? Some part of me didn’t want their help anyway. It’d just hurt them- no, me- more.”

Ranboo slowly helped Eret up, trying to remain calm. Trying to hold together a facade that Eret would lean on. Trying to help someone that needed his help more than ever. 

“C’mon, Eret. Let’s go home.” He walked past the dust, trying to kick up as little of it as possible. 

They’d made it pretty far into Sam’s forest before Eret went completely limp. Ranboo tried to not let the panic seep into his bones, but he knew that this was bad. Very, very bad. He set Eret down so that he was peacefully laying on the ground, and he messaged Sam his coordinates.

_ Hurry. Eret injured. _

Sam’s response was swift.

_ Omw. stay put _

It didn’t take long, as Sam was true to his word. Together, they lifted Eret up and managed to get back to Sam’s base, but it took longer than Ranboo would have liked. But then again, he couldn’t be picky.

As much as he wanted to stay, Sam made Ranboo leave the medical room that had been constructed. Sam’s eyes held too much regret to be healthy. Ranboo followed his order.

He walked out to where some of the others were. Tommy and Tubbo immediately went up to him, claiming that Sam had made them stay out of the way and wouldn’t tell them what happened. 

“It’s Eret.” Ranboo started, unsure of how they would take the news. “He’s uh… He’s been alone in the castle. Hasn’t forgiven himself for what happened.” He didn’t elaborate, but Tommy and Tubbo got the implication.

Tommy’s feathers fluffed up. “He’s been alone up there? I thought he’d left.” The unspoken ‘me’ at the end of the sentence echoed through the silence. No one had the courage to mention it. 

Fundy sniffled. “I- me, too.”

Tommy sat down and put a wing around Fundy, wincing a little at the pull on his feathers, but staying. They stayed that way until Sam came in, hair sweaty and hands suspiciously clean, as if he was hiding something.

When Sam walked in, they stood up, asking if Eret was okay.

“He will be,” Sam started, “but not for a while. His wounds need to heal.” He didn’t mention how deep they were. Physical and mental. 

Again, the hidden message was received. They were getting good at family communication, Ranboo mused. 

Eret needed a reminder that he  _ was _ needed, and if he got it in the form of a fox barreling into his chest and a protective wing around his shoulder the minute he was awake, no one mentioned it. They didn’t need to, Eret was already part of the family. Puffy nearly cried the first time she visited to see him. They’d been old friends from lands that had been forgotten in the minds of many, and they missed each other more than they’d care to admit. Even Niki teared up a little, and offered him a room at their house. 

Eret was needed, and no matter how long it would take to convince them that it was true, they’d be there. No more would their love be lost to time, fated to be the wisps of a ghost wandering through the hall of a dark, abandoned castle with a crumbling throne.

* * *

Though he might not have realized it, Ranboo was gaining the odd little hobby of adopting strays. They were rarely animals, although there was the occasional bird or cat. But, no, they were mostly humans. Or at least, partially. Fundy, Eret, Purpled. It didn’t stop there, though. 

He’d remember the day that he found this particular stray for years after it had passed into the horizon of time, his questions lost to the winds of destiny. Some of them were never answered. 

Ranboo had another one of his itchy fits, which he was starting to think of as his sixth sense of someone in need. It’d been pretty accurate so far, but as he found his way to a gently rolling plains biome, there was nothing in sight. No one in sight. His itch had faded, instead replaced with a heavy feeling in his guts, keeping him there. 

It was towards dusk when something actually happened. The wind picked up and it got chilly, then cold, then freezing. Ranboo stood up and backed away a little, and if he squinted right, he could’ve sworn that the air was blowing in a circle formation.

It was- there, it was getting clearer. 

The colors started next, all purples and blues with hints of green and black. Ranboo realized a beat too late that it looked like a portal and therefore he should get out of the way more- instead, he was thrown down the hill in a tumble by the increasingly strong winds as he barely registered something (someone?) getting pushed out of the portal.

He stopped moving at the bottom of the hill and didn’t even bother getting back up before the winds had gone and all was peaceful again. Then, he climbed the gentle slope again.

He paused when he saw a lump on the peak, and froze more when it turned to look at him.

The brown hair was straggly and grimy, and the eyes told stories that his voice would never bear to tell. Ranboo recognized the hopeless look, but it wouldn’t occur to him until much later that it was the same look that had stared back at him in a water reflection back in the End. 

“Karl?” Ranboo asked incredulously.

Karl lay there, too weak to do anything but sigh in relief. 

Ranboo waited a moment for Karl to catch his breath before asking another question. “Are you okay?” It seemed the easiest of his questions to answer, but Karl still hesitated.

“I am now.”

If Ranboo was waiting for Karl to elaborate, he didn’t. At least, not then, but he did a bit later when he’d gotten the energy to sit up and look up at Ranboo.

“I’m a time traveler. D’you know that?” Ranboo wordlessly shook his head. It wasn’t the oddest thing to happen to him. “I can’t really control it, though. Not completely. I did what I could, though. Interfere to keep the worst things that might happen from actually happening. And, finally, I’m done. I can rest.”

Ranboo thought about that. “You knew I’d go to the End? Why didn’t you stop me?”

Karl hummed. “I actually didn’t. That’s unique to this timeline, but then again, so is this whole family you’ve got going on. There’s fragments of it across times, but nowhere as full and pure as this one.” Karl tried to look at Ranboo again, but flinched at the gaze of a red eye. “This is the best possible outcome, I think. Even if it has its faults.”

“Do you know what I’m going to do next? How do you know what timeline you’re in?” 

Karl looked up at the sky, thinking of a white city and the shining books left there for him. “I just do, uh…”

“Ranboo. My name is Ranboo. I can’t really blame you for forgetting, because it’s me, but… are you sure you’re okay?” The hybrid squinted at the man that still sat on the grass.

The man chuckled. “I like to say so, but… I’m losing myself. I barely remember Quackity, and…” His eyes filled with horror. “Who’s the one with the white headband? The name? Why can’t I remember?”

“Hey, it’s okay.” Ranboo said, sitting down as well. “His name is Sapnap. What else do you not remember?”

So, they sat there until the sun started setting, talking about everything and anything. Ranboo couldn’t help but feel the urge to protect someone who had memory issues like he did, and Karl? Well, Karl knew just what Ranboo had been through and what he would’ve gone through if he hadn’t placed that inconspicuous purple and black book right where Tommy would find it. 

They sat there until the stars showed their beauty, because the pair hadn’t had time to just rest and look at the sky in ages. Ranboo looked over eventually. Karl was looking tired, and if Ranboo was a time-traveling superhero, he would be, too.

“We have an extra room, if you want to rest.”

Karl smiled slightly, the lopsided grin looking odd on a face that had only known sadness and grief for so long. “Thanks, but no. I need to find Sapnap and Quackity. They’ve probably been wondering where I am, and I miss them.”

They both stood up and exchanged a hug. Ranboo sighed. “Well, don’t be a stranger. Bring them to visit sometime, too. You’re always welcome.”

They’d be parting there into opposite directions, but Karl paused to say one last thing. “Y’know, Ranboo? You’re the one thing keeping everything together. Without you, this world burned a long time ago.” Ranboo could see the flames in his eyes, and he knew that Karl wouldn’t lie. Not about that. “Just remember that. You’re important.”

With that, the two turned so their backs faced each other, and Ranboo made his way home. Sam was still up, waiting on him like a typical dad or older brother (he really was a mix of the two depending on who it was, wasn’t he?) would. 

“Where’ve you been, Ranboo?” It was clear Sam was concerned, even though he could’ve messaged any time.

“I was chatting with Karl. Sorry, we got caught up with the conversation.”

Sam visibly sagged with relief. “Alright. That’s fine, I was just-”

“Worried?” Ranboo teased. “Okay, dad.”

It was said in a joking way, but it was the first of many times. The second person to call Sam their dad wasn’t surprising. It was Tommy, of course, said in the midst of a wing-preening session. 

Tommy was purring, for when did he not, when his wings were involved? It just felt so nice-

Fundy laughed as Sam was preening Tommy’s wings. “Look at you! You just melt, awww.” It wasn’t said in a mean way, it was endearing and affectionate. 

Tommy managed to get a hand up to flip Fundy off. “Fuck off, fox boy.” This was said a little more maliciously, but there was no heat behind it. Not when the words were slurred with sleep and happiness.

Our favorite enderman hybrid walked in next, and sat down by Sam to help with Tommy’s wings. They all fought over who would help, but no one bothered to take Ranboo’s place. Sam must’ve touched a part that was particularly sensitive, because Tommy leaned into the touch with a ferocity that knocked Sam down.

“Whoa,” Sam said. “That’s new. You’re getting stronger.”

“Of course I am,” Tommy mumbled, “I am a big-” Ranboo touched his wings again.

“A big what?” Ranboo asked, a grin finding its way onto his face.

“A big m-”

Ranboo touched the wings again, and laughed as Tommy trailed off into another purr.

Sam smiled affectionately. “You’re a big softie, that’s what you are, Tommy. All of you guys are.”

While the others tried to protest, Tommy didn’t bother. He just wanted his wings to be touched more. “Only… Only for you, dad.” He leaned back into Sam and promptly fell asleep, and didn’t even wake up when the room laughed at the ridiculousness of it all.

They all had a slumber party in the living room that night to watch a movie, and everyone got to take turns preening and petting Tommy’s wings. Eret looked overjoyed to be allowed to touch them, and at the end of it all, Tommy got distressed that he couldn’t cover everyone with his wings, so everyone crammed together so that he could as they watched a movie. 

“Whose foot is that, digging into my side?” Fundy asked, poking it.

“Mine, stop.” Ranboo said. Then, “Ow, who's pulling my hair?”

“My bad.” Tubbo said. “I can’t see the screen.”

Sam ducked down. “Sorry.”

Puffy and Niki were fine, cuddling at the edges of Tommy’s wings while Eret was curled into the feathers closer to Tommy. Purpled had been apprehensive about joining the group, but Tommy’s distressed trill had convinced him, so he found himself stretched across everyone as he was the last to join.

And, in the middle of the chaos, Tommy purred loud and contentedly, wings stretched across his family. He radiated warmth, and everyone knew he wasn’t even watching the movie in his cuddly euphoria.

Miles away, there was a house with three others, close and safe. Karl smiled as he watched a fireplace crackle, and he knew that finally, he’d done something right. He was safe, and so was everyone else. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen yall ive written 25000 words... 8 chapters... i want to get to at least 10. i've got a vague idea of what's gonna be next, but do you have any ideas? i can only add so much wing fluff to make the chapters longer


	9. Confrontations and Avoiding the Truth (fear the strength of a father wronged)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few of the boys was to confront their past. One decides to avoid it. And, at the end of it all, they fall onto Sam, their father. (Sam also kills a god, but that's unimportant.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta-DA! chapter nine!!!  
> p.s. im joining the dream smp big bang thats going around on tumblr. :)  
> as usual, hoped you liked it!!

Occasionally, they’d all go somewhere, as a family. It was odd, such a big group traveling together, but they made it work. Other times, they’d travel in smaller groups, like when Sam had to go to the prison. None of them liked Warden Sam a whole lot, but they knew deep down that it was the same Sam that comforted them late at night. Tommy never went, though.

At least, not until now.

“Someone wants to visit the prisoner.” Sam said while they were all eating breakfast one morning. 

The early morning chatter paused. Ranboo hummed a little nervously. “Maybe I’ll go with you today. I haven’t seen the prison in a while.”

Fundy sighed. “Who’s visiting him?”

“George.” Sam winced, knowing he didn’t particularly like the man. 

“Guess I won’t go today, then.” Fundy mumbled, looking down and shoveling some more food into his mouth.

It was quiet for the rest of breakfast, just the clinking of forks against plates filling the silence. After Ranboo was done, he got ready, and met Sam at the entrance of their home. Right as the door opened, Tommy shuffled over.

“Could I come today?” He asked, wings circling around his body.

Sam nodded. “Of course you can. Are you sure you want to, though? You might have to see, uh, Dream.”

Tommy flinched at the name. “Yeah. I think I need to go.”

They left, then, and the journey was a soft show of how Sam and Ranboo cared for Tommy. They walked closer than Tommy probably would’ve liked, they bristled whenever they heard something. Tommy appreciated it, though, Ranboo could tell. His wings were relaxed and comfortable on his back rather than fluffed out like they were a while ago. 

When they reached the prison, Ranboo caught a glimpse of blue on the horizon coming towards them. The three of them were safely inside before the visitor arrived, though.

As usual, Sam brought them to a little hidden room that could see the cell without being seen. Sam stood there whenever visitors arrived, so Tommy and Ranboo waited there while he guided the guests to the cell.

They watched as George walked over the bridge to look at Dream. Tommy looked down. He was starting to regret coming, so Ranboo put an arm around his shoulders. Sam came over a minute later, and they watched George.

The man had looked better. His posture was slumped, his hair swept to the side stiffly, like it hadn’t been washed in a while. He looked defeated. 

“George.” Dream said, voice slightly wobbling in a way undetectable by anyone who was just casually watching the interaction.

George looked at the while mask for a second before sighing. “Dream. It’s been a while since I visited. Thought I’d see if you needed anything, make sure Sam’s treating you well. As well as he can, considering you’re a monster, anyway.” he shrugged, missing the way Dream folded into himself a little.

It was quiet. A painful, tense silence. 

Dream broke it. “How’ve you been?”

“I left.” George said, looking up with tears in his eyes. “I left after the last visit and you didn’t care. I went with Karl and Sapnap, we had a fun time. Built a library. I was enjoying myself, but after everything you’ve done, I can’t be away from you. I hate you, but I still want what we had back.”

“George…” Dream groaned, silently begging him to stop.

“No. No, Dream. You are going to sit here and listen. After all the nights I’ve spent awake wondering if I should visit, you are going to sit here and acknowledge what you’ve done.” George snapped. “You spent years with Sapnap and I just to leave us at the drop of a hat for what, power? Why did you change? Was I not good enough? Do you hate me? Because after what you’ve done, I’m starting to think that there’s nothing left here for me.” It was silent again. When George spoke next, it was softer. “Say something, Dream. Say something, anything, and I’ll come back. I’ll stay. For you.”

“George,” Dream started, before trailing off into meaningless mutters.

He started begging. “Anything, Dream. Give me  _ any clue _ that there’s a part left of the old you that I can save and I’ll stay. I promise.”

Dream stayed quiet, all the words he wanted to say biting the tip of his tongue. Instead, he said, “Then leave. See if I care. Our time is over, George. When I get out of here, I’ll be a stranger to the ones that I once loved.”

“I hope you burn in hell.” George whispered, turning away so that Dream wouldn’t see the tears he shed. He didn’t deserve to see how his words hurt. “Sam, I’m ready to go.”

Dream reached out a hand, but pulled it back. He needed to remember his plan. This was worth it.

“Bye, Dream.”

Sam had left Ranboo and Tommy to escort the broken man out, and once he came back, Tommy stood up. “Can I go visit him? I think… I think I need to talk to him.”

Even Warden Sam hesitated. “Sure.”

Tommy didn’t fill out the books, it wasn’t necessary. He finally stood above Dream, wings flared out as his anger grew.

“Hey Tommy,” Dream drawled. “Those wings are new.”

“Not really,” Tommy shrugged. “I just haven’t felt the need to tell you every little thing about my life, nowadays. No since you, you know, pushed me to almost kill myself.”

Dream wasn’t sure he liked how blunt Tommy was being. “But didn’t you hide things from me before? Isn’t that why you deserve that ending?”

Tommy scoffed. “Say what you will, Small D. I’ve got a family, I’ve healed, I’m happy. I’m not going to let you manipulate me when I’ve got the ending all heroes want and you’re here getting yelled at by George, for all I care, rotting until the ends of time. It worked back then, but not now.”

“But I’m your friend!” Dream crooned, trying to get under Tommy’s feathers.

“No you aren’t!” Tommy shouted, before pausing to calm down. “You hit me, you blew up my stuff, you abused me, Dream. You aren’t my friend. So what if it took an actual family and therapy to figure that out. You aren’t my friend, Dream, and frankly, I don’t think you have any.”

Dream hummed. “So you got smart. You gonna hit me? Get angry? Lose your temper and see how long it takes to hurt me?”

Tommy laughed at that. “No, I’m not. If you think I’m going to turn around and be as bad as you, then you’re dumber than I took you for. I’m not here for you, Dream. I’m here for me. I finally got myself back after all these years, and I came here to look you in the eyes so that you know how truly alone you are.” He paused as he started to turn around. “Y’know, I’d almost feel bad for you, if I hadn’t known that this was your own fault.”

Sam brought him back, and Ranboo smiled at the blond. “Do you feel better?” 

The grin that Ranboo got as a response was telling. “I do! I feel like a big, huge man! I mean, I always was, but boy,” His wings stretched out further, proud, “I feel like I could take over the world.”

Ranboo thought about that for a while. How confident Tommy was, how relieved he felt. Ranboo wanted to feel that. Get that closure. He wasn’t sure he’d find it in Dream, though. They’d never spoken, after all. Not since Ranboo was accepted onto this server, anyway.

He found a way to get it when Karl was over one day, visiting. He’d always come alone, making an excuse as to why his fiances (husbands? Ranboo wasn’t sure if they got married or not.) couldn’t come.

They were having a picnic, all of them just hanging around snacking on food. Some of them couldn’t make it, but that wasn’t their fault.

Ranboo was sitting with his arms propping him up, staring up at how the wind moved the leaves of trees. It seemed so gentle, so relaxing, until the wind picked up and the rustling grew louder and violent. Karl was smiling, but the smile seemed to hide some uneasiness. He wasn’t sure what for, but he figured that if he'd been a time traveler in a unique timeline with little to no idea of what happened next, he’d be nervous, too.

His thoughts wandered to the green festival, how he’d been exposed as a traitor and almost executed by one of the men who wasn’t feasting in the meadow. He wasn’t sure why his mind brought it up, maybe because his mind picked up on the green around him, and as the laughter filtered into his hazy mind, they were contorted to screams.

“-you alright? Ranboo?”

Ranboo turned to see Karl looking at him funny. “Oh, yeah, sorry.”

“Okay,” Karl said dubiously. “If you say so.”

“Actually,” Ranboo spoke up, making Karl turn to him again. “Do you think I could go with you when you go back to your house? I think I want to visit, uh, Quackity.”

All conversation (or it seemed like it, at least,) stopped. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Tubbo asked, looking concerned.

“Yeah!” Ranboo said, trying to sound cheerful. “I haven’t seen him in awhile. I want to see how he’s doing.”

“Sure.” Karl shrugged. “He and Sapnap went to the nether today, but you might catch them tonight. We have a spare room, too.”

So it was decided. Ranboo left with Karl that afternoon, but not without getting a tight hug from Sam and a package of snacks for the trip.

Quackity and Sapnap were already home by the time Ranboo and Karl arrived, and it was kind of comical how surprised they looked at seeing the enderman. 

“Hey, Ranboo.” Quackity started slowly. “Karl caught me up with what happened to you after everyone gave up searching. I… I’m sorry, man. I really am.”

Karl ushered Sapnap out of the room to let the other two talk. Ranboo spoke next. “I’d like to say it’s okay, I really would. I just… don’t you realize what you did to me back then?”

“Of course I do,” Quackity exclaimed softly. “There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t regret how I acted. I know it doesn’t excuse anything, I know that being almost executed is pretty traumatic, I wish I could’ve been better, you were just a kid, but-”

“Hey,” Ranboo interrupted. “We all have regrets. I’m getting help, and I think you are too,” The nod confirmed it, “I don’t think either of us are at fault for what happened. I think we can put it behind us. After all, being on this server causes a lot of stress.”

“You can say that again,” Quackity laughed, and Ranboo noticed small wings stretch out behind him.

“Oh, hey, Tommy has wings too,” Ranboo mentioned.

  
“He, he what???” Quackity asked. “Wings? Since when?”

They caught up more after that. It wasn’t perfect, but when Ranboo went back home the next morning, he felt happier. He felt content, and safe, and he was glad he’d gone. 

Purpled didn't get such a luxury that night. His mind was plagued with the horrors that he'd lived through not even a month ago, though he wanted nothing more than to finally rest.

It all started when he dreamed of waking up. It seemed realistic, and well, he couldn't bear the thought of not waking up, so he believed it.

_ He woke up quickly. What had he been dreaming of? He couldn't remember. He knew that it had caused the sinking feeling of terror in his bones, though, and knew it was real from the exhaustion in his body.  _

_ His room looked different. Had the walls always been red? He wasn't sure. Why did he… what was he here for? Hadn't he fallen asleep in the room that they all shared?  _

_ Hadn't he? _

_ Purpled got up and padded over to the door. It swung open before him, but he didn't recall touching the handle. Maybe he was more tired than he thought. Yes, that was it. He was just tired. _

_ He wanted to go to Sam. He'd had a nightmare, right? Yes. He wanted Sam. He wanted comfort. In his hazy mind, those were the same. _

_...When had he gotten to Sam's door? Hadn't he just been outside of his own room a minute ago? Nevermind that. Purpled wanted a hug. _

_ He walked into the room. Sam lay there, still asleep. _

_ "Sam?" _

_ He did not wake. Purpled tried again, a little louder. "Sam?" _

_ Nothing. Once more, "...Dad?" _

_ Purpled was about to leave when something clicked in his mind. Why was it so quiet? Yes, why? Sam snored a bit, not loudly, but he was never this quiet. He walked over to the bed, and rolled Sam over. _

_ Instead of a soft smile, there was blood on the corner of Sam's mouth, a blank stare, and red staining the sheets. _

_ What was that weight in his hands?  _

_ Purpled looked down, and he was met with the glinting grin of a sword. He'd done this. He killed Sam. Why wasn't Sam respawning? _

_ He backed away slowly. He had to check on the others, make sure they were okay, oh, god- he’d blacked out again. He’d done the one thing he was terrified he would, he’d killed Sam, oh- _

_ The door to the room that they all shared loomed in front of him. Why was he dizzy? He stumbled into the room to see what had happened. Hopefully nothing, but oh, god- _

_ Tommy lay on the ground, wing stretching towards the door, telling the story of a failed defense, feathers torn and dirty, stained red like Sam’s bed had been. Under one of his wings was Tubbo- but which had died first? Was it Tubbo, and Tommy was grieving the loss of the only friend that had been there since the beginning? Or was it Tommy who was the first to fall, selfless until the end, hoping that Tubbo might be spared? _

_ Purpled didn’t know. _

_ Ranboo and Fundy were next to each other, Ranboo’s head on Fundy’s lap as his purple blood spilled onto the ground as if in his last moments he was pulled close to Fundy, the one he’d spent so long saving and healing. Fundy’s eyes were blank, slumped against a bed, fur matted and tangled. Purpled wanted to reach out to fix it, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Not when he’d been the one to do this. _

_ He tried to walk backwards, try to desperately deny that any of this had happened, but his foot caught on something and he tumbled onto his back- it was a wing, oh no, it was Tommy’s wing that he’d fallen over, and now he was looking into those dead, foggy eyes- _

_ The hallway came into view, and it didn’t offer any solace to the boy born and raised in violence and abandonment. Puffy and Niki were by the door, tight in an embrace that held no fear because they would be together, even in death. It was a story of love that had been ended by Purpled’s blade, and he couldn’t bear to look at it, but everywhere he looked strengthened the burning feeling that he felt rising up his throat.  _

_ There- Eret, crown fallen, splattered with what Purpled really hoped was just… paint? He turned again, and Karl- wait. _

_ Karl was alive. _

_ “Karl, thank god, you’re alive, please, are you okay?” _

_ Karl startled and scrambled backwards to get away from Purpled. His eyes were full of fear, but that was better than blank- _

_ “This wasn’t supposed to happen!”  _

_ Purpled squinted. “I know it wasn’t supposed to happen, Karl, I killed everybody! That means pretty much everything that could go wrong, did! Why didn’t anyone stop me? Don’t you guys have, like… I don’t know, overpowered armor and weapons? I’m still in my pajamas!” _

_ Karl shook his head. “No, you don’t understand, Purpled- I- this, this shouldn’t have happened! I know time! I know vaguely how this timeline ends and this isn’t it! I don’t know how, but Purpled, you’ve altered time in a way that I’m pretty sure doesn’t exist!” _

_ “What do you mean?” Purpled spluttered. “Mess with time? I’m barely an adult!” _

_ “What are you?” Karl asked fearfully, and Purpled blinked, and just like that, everyone but him was dead in the house. It was quiet except for his horrified sobs that began to echo as he stepped past Karl to leave and get outside. He couldn’t tell if there were any trees there, or even if the sky was blue, but it all seemed so real despite that, like someone was trying to warn him, disguising the future as a dream. _

He woke up quickly. What had he been dreaming of? He couldn't remember. He knew that it had caused the sinking feeling of terror in his bones, though, and knew it was real from the exhaustion in his body. 

Wait- no, he remembered. He really wished he didn’t remember, he wished with all of the bones in his body and with all of the coins that he could throw down any mossy wishing well that he could forget, but not for the first time, the world looked down on Purpled and sneered.

His heart rate began to speed up. He needed to get away, he couldn’t let that happen here-

He was gone before he’d even realized it. There was a bag, packed, and though it took some time to make sure that he wouldn’t wake up anyone as they stayed in their slumber, Purpled managed. Before he left for good, he wrote a quick note so that they wouldn’t worry, and walked by Sam’s room to hear the comforting sound of gentle snoring. During movie night (he’d miss that terribly, he decided, but this was for the better. The better of them, not him, but wasn’t that more important? Wasn’t everything he’d done to get to them, to help them, to make sure they never stooped as low as he had?) he’d usually find it annoying, but as he shut the front door behind him, he couldn’t find the strength to care very much. 

He was leaving them, and they very well might hate him for it, but he needed to do this. For their safety. And, as the sun struggled to keep it’s grasp on the horizon, staining his hair the same color he’d feared so much, he felt at peace. He needed to do this. Maybe if he repeated it enough, the feelings that he had would become genuine.

By the time Ranboo woke up, hours later, the sun now mourning the loss of one of her creations, he wasn’t the first to see Purpled’s note. He was the last, to be precise. The last to look at the tiny piece of paper, scribbled in handwriting that could only be Purpled’s. The last to have their eyes filled with tears.

Sure, he thought he was doing the right thing, but surely, surely he had felt safe with them. Safe with the family that loved him so much, the family that would stop at nothing to find him again. The family that could crumble so easily and erase all the healing that had been done, just with the loss of one. 

The searches that followed made Ranboo uneasy. It reminded him too much of what must've happened when he had disappeared, and he hated that it was happening again. His motivations had been more selfish, (not selfish. He wasn’t selfish for leaving when he was underappreciated. He just hadn’t realized his importance in the lives of others.) but he hated that he must’ve put this much sorrow into the hearts of the ones that searched for him. 

It grew dark as the results came up empty. Everyone returned to the house, saddened and disheartened, but then- and Ranboo wasn’t quite sure if this was a stroke of genius or a hopeless dead end that cursed him even after all this time- he knew where Purpled had gone.

Where would he have gone to escape everyone? To make sure no one would find him? To be absolutely sure that they were safe from him? Well, he’d already gone there.

The End.

( _ of what? _ His mind whispered.  _ Another just-healed life? A family?  _ What was this the end of? _ Everything he’d been living for? _ )

Blindly, in a haze of panic, Ranboo ran outside. He didn’t know what direction to go in, he felt hands pulling him back but suddenly they were gone, and he was deep in the forest. It happened again, and he didn’t quite register just how many times it happened until he was hit by a blast of cold-

Had he just teleported?

_ Nevermind that _ , his thoughts reminded him. _ Nevermind your power, nevermind the past that the cold will bring up, you have a job to do. _

He stumbled to the shore’s edge, not caring how armorless he was. Diving into the water was painful, but the headache that was growing and the exhaustion setting into his body distracted him from it. His feet brought him to the room that he’d stood at, and for a second he could feel all of the blood rush from his face.

There, next to a now lit portal, was the god that had been part of the reason he had been so alone, and he wouldn’t, he  _ couldn’t _ , let Purpled go through the same thing. No one deserved the fate that he’d submitted himself to all those years ago. 

And, next to the glowing wings, was a familiar purple sweatshirt, the person it belonged to looking devastated and broken.

Purpled looked up, and met Ranboo’s eyes. Neither were sure which pair of eyes held more emotion. Ranboo’s, full of shock that he was right, filled with pain that Purpled never thought to stay, telling the story of someone who’s lived out this ending and never wanted to go near it again, but has. Or, maybe Purpled’s, thought to be the least fucked-up of the bunch, eyes flooded with the memories that never let him rest, sick of it all and just wanting his family safe.

Purpled’s, which held the story of an apology. “ _ I’m sorry, _ ” it said, narrated in a tear-filled voice though no words were spoken. “ _ I’m sorry that it had to end this way, I really am, but it’s better this way. _ ”

“ _ Then why does it hurt? _ ” Ranboo’s responded, bringing up the regret that the story had brought.

The hesitation it caused as one foot lifted into the air was enough time. Ranboo let out a screech, somewhere between a shout of  _ No! _ , and the warble of an enderman. He wasn’t sure which one it was closer to, but he knew that he had finally done something right as he felt the weight of Purpled collide with his, falling to the ground behind the portal instead of into the dark expanse.

“Let me go!” Purpled cried, the tears streaming down his face. He’d been so close to making sure they were safe, why did Ranboo stop him?

“No,” Ranboo growled, holding down Purpled as he struggled and tried to escape. “I’m not letting you go there. Not when it’s done what it has to me. Not when I know what it will do to you. Not when I know that I almost lost myself, and that I’ll lose you, too. I couldn’t bear to lose you. Not after all we’ve been through.”

Purpled went limp, falling into Ranboo’s arms as they both cried. It had been a long day, they were tired, and they wanted to go  _ home _ . 

There was the issue of the very not amused god, though. They’d gone way off script, and he was  _ sick of it.  _ He wanted control back.

___________________

Sam wanted his sons back. 

He wasn’t stupid, he knew where they were. He knew almost immediately after Ranboo had gasped softly and ran outside toward where he knew the snowy tundra was. People tried to stop him, but the teleportation was new. Something they’d have to work on, certainly, but there was no time.

He set off a little while later. He trusted Ranboo to deal with it, but figured they could use some backup to get home. Sam used his trident, and flew through the air. It would’ve been enjoyable if he wasn’t so worried about Purpled.

While he wasn’t sure what he expected, but seeing an angry god standing over his two children wasn’t it. 

“Get away from them.” Sam said, hoping he wouldn’t have to get into a fight with a deity. Fate wasn’t on his side though. When had it ever been?

“Get away?” The god laughed. “I am powerful. I can shift reality. Create matter. Do you know pain, Awesamdude? I am made from the very essence of pain, and if you interfere here, you will learn of it.”

Sam had the audacity to laugh. He was scared, but he laughed. “Pain? You think I don’t know pain? How much of an idiot are you?” The laughter cut off, replaced with a cold, chilling voice. “I know more pain and hurt than you’d ever know. My story isn’t controlled by you, and neither am I. Now, get away from them.”

The deity would have been pouting, mockingly, had he a face. “You aren’t controlled by me? You really think so?” He crooned, reaching a hand out towards Sam. “How long do you think you can pretend that’s true?”

Sam felt his throat close, his lungs contract. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t get the air he needed-

The air rushed into his lungs, only for walls of obsidian to be built, crushing him and leaving no space to move.

“How long can you escape me?”

As soon as he mined the blocks, more appeared. When they ceased, lava was poured onto the stone and he felt the heat through the protection of his boots.

“How long can you survive in a world that I run?”

When the lava was scooped up, it was quickly replaced with a skeleton, shooting an arrow through the weak part of his armour. Sam hissed, and fell back in pain, feeling the gunpowder rise up his throat. He couldn’t, though. He couldn’t. His boys would get caught up in the explosion and get hurt- Sam spared a desperate glance to them to make sure they were alright, but the deity caught it.

“How long do you think you can protect them? Who even  _ are _ you to challenge me when I am the god of these lands, who writes your futures?”

A wave of rage rolled off of Sam with the strength of a thousand tsunamis at the thought of this  _ slimy fingered fuck touching his boys _ , startling the deity and breaking the connection that had been held. Sam unsheathed his sword as he stood up, and pushed it into (what he assumed was) the body of the god.

“Me?” He snarled. “I’m their father. And if you think I won’t kill anything that’s standing in their way of a happy life, then you deserve everything that I want to do to you for preventing their safety.”

The god had a hard time breathing, but he spoke again. His head had no mouth, but the words were coming out slower, now. “I won’t die, if you do this. I’ll come back later, I’ll destroy everything you love. I cannot truly be killed.”

“You come and try.” Sam whispered into what he really hoped his ears were. “You come and try to touch a single hair on any one of my boy’s heads, and you see what happens. You can’t write my script because I’ve burned it in the flames that you’ve made of my past, so try and see what will happen if I see you again. I _dare_ you.”

With that, the air was silent as the god disappeared, nothing left of him but a shining portal still lit and a message in the chat.

_ DreamXD has left the game. _

He knelt down next to Purpled and Ranboo, who were trembling, still locked in a tight embrace. “C’mon, boys.” He sighed wearily. It’d been a long day, and he could check  _ kill a god _ off of his bucket list. “Let’s go home.” He was holding his side and would limp back, but he repeated it. 

“Let’s go home.”


	10. Healing as The Pain Fades (gunpowder and fire don't mix well)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Purpled and Ranboo recover, Sam is reminded of his past. It takes Puffy to get him to open up, but he does. His past is an ugly one, but his family doesn't love him any less.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fluff and awesamdad angst! you get to know his backstory now i guess lmao. 
> 
> Next up: maybe ranboo goes feral in a good way? Phil and techno appear again? more end??? if you really want a character in it or an event lemme know and ill do my best, though!

Purpled was fast asleep, mind clear and dreamless, for once. Ranboo’s was the one that was running, but from what, he wasn’t sure. Maybe nothing. Perhaps he was just paranoid. He was thinking about the end, and the way that they left the portal shining and vulnerably open on their way home. 

All three of them were home now, safe, warm, and healing, but Ranboo couldn’t shake the deep pit of concern that had settled itself in his stomach. The portal had been closed for a reason- to protect the End from the people that roamed the over world. Ranboo knew that if the wrong one found its way into the portal, it would be over. Ransacked. Looted. 

Even after all that it had done to him, the End was still connected to him. He’d never sever that tie, he’d never be able to cut off that past. He was fine with it, though. Besides the obvious bad parts, the End really was beautiful. When he wasn’t being abandoned, he liked it there.

Maybe it was just his enderman instincts feeling comfortable there.

Ranboo pushed the thought away for a few minutes as Purpled stirred on the bed. They had both crawled into it after Sam deemed them bandaged up enough (although, their wounds were really just minimal. It was Sam’s they were worried about. He assured them that he’d get it looked at, but some small part of their mind doubted the truth of his words.), and fallen asleep. Or at least, one of them had. 

Purpled blearily opened his eyes, and saw Ranboo looking right back at him. “What d’you want?” He groaned, burying his head into the pillow. “It’s too early.”

“Just making sure you’re doing alright.”

A small hum formed in Purpled’s throat. “Oh, yeah. Almost forgot about that.”

Ranboo snorted. “I wish I could. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Purpled rolled over to cling to Ranboo’s arm as the enderman hybrid was sitting up. “Why’re you so concerned?” He laughed almost deliriously at a joke that he hadn’t made public yet.

“What?” Ranboo asked, amused at the scene unfolding before him.

“Ranboo? My brother? More like a bother!” He laughed for a little before quieting and snuggling closer. “I’m sorry. That was mean.” He whined in a sad voice.

Despite that, Ranboo felt a grin creep onto his face. He ruffled Purpled’s hair and let the grin widen as Purpled leaned into the touch. “Nah, that’s alright. I know you didn’t mean it like that.”

They let silence linger, heat radiating off of both of them. 

“Hey, Ranboo?”

The enderman made a little noise, waiting for Purpled to continue.

“I’m not going to have to fight anymore, right? I can rest?”

Ranboo knew in that moment that healing was going to be even more intricate and difficult for Purpled than he had thought. Purpled had been left alone for so long, he learned to give up on others and rely on himself. Of course he wouldn’t immediately trust again. It was a process.

Realizing he hadn’t responded, he spoke. “No, Purp. You’re safe here. You can rest.”

Purpled was already asleep, and Ranboo wasn’t far to follow. They were both still sleeping when Sam came to check on them, side healing but not quite properly taken care of. He pulled up the blanket to cover them, and smiled softly as he left. It was a good thing he had arrived when he did, because he didn’t want to think about what would’ve happened if he’d gotten there a little later.

Sam knew the scene that he’d seen in the stronghold a little more than he’d care to admit. 

* * *

When Ranboo woke up, he was alone in his room. Purpled’s side was cold, so he must’ve gone a while ago, but he had no desire to get up. He needed to, at some point, but he didn’t really want to. Who does, honestly, when they’re in bed? The blankets were warm, the pillows were soft, and Ranboo’s mind was still muddled with the weight of sleep, so really, he had no reason to get up. What did the waking world have to offer him that his dreams didn’t?

The sound of laughter echoed into the bedroom, and Ranboo managed to lift his head up a little. He swung his legs over until his feet hit the floor, then made his way over to where the noise was coming from. 

Only a few of the family was in the living room (Most were missing, like Fundy and Eret who were restoring the castle and Tubbo who was in Logstedshire), laughing at a joke someone said. Ranboo wasn’t sure who said the joke. Probably Tommy, if the way his wings were proudly puffed up were any indication. 

“Ranboo!” Purpled called from next to Tommy on the couch. “You’re up!”

All eyes turned to Ranboo, and he chuckled uneasily. “I sure am. What’ve you guys been up to?”

Sam spoke up from a recliner that was in the corner. His voice was quiet, almost concerningly so. “No much. Just resting.”

“Are you alright?” Ranboo asked, tilting his head.

Sam just shrugged sluggishly. “Yeah. I think.”

It got quiet. “I’m gonna call Puffy.” Tommy mumbled, leaving the room. If the only responsible adult wasn’t being responsible, then they needed another one to make sure they were all okay. Who better to reach than Puffy?

“What? No, don’t call Puffy.” Sam sighed. “I’m fine.” He was met with blank stares. “Fine,” he agreed reluctantly. “Call Puffy, if you want. It’s a waste, though, I  _ promise  _ I am okay.”

  
  


“Yeah, yeah. Keep talking, big man.” Tommy yelled from out of the room. His voice softened when it was clear that Puffy had picked up his call. “Hey,”

Ranboo turned to Sam. “I don’t believe for one minute that you’re fine. What’s wrong?”

“I dunno.” Sam fidgeted, trying to get comfortable. “That’s a lie. I do know. I just don’t like looking at it.”

“Looking at what? Sam, if you say your wound, I swear-”

“Yeah. I’m sorry,” Sam giggled. Ranboo didn’t like how Sam sounded when he giggled- it was concerning and almost scary, because Sam had always comforted them. What did they need to do when Sam was the one needing help? “Ranboo?”

“Hmm?”

“Is Purpled okay? Are you?”

Ranboo scrunched up his eyebrows and looked at Purpled, who was sitting on the couch, staring back. “Of course we are. You brought us back. Remember?”

Sam’s eyes started to water. “I remember. I just didn’t want it to be like last time. Needed to make sure you made it out alive.”

“Sam,” Ranboo began cautiously. “What do you mean by last time? None of us have died.”

When Puffy burst into the room, Tommy was trailing behind her. Sam never got to answer. “I came as fast as I could,” She fretted, looking over Sam and clicking her tongue in sympathy when she saw his wound. “Alright, big guy, let’s get you into the medical room.”

The three boys listened to Puffy berating their father on his lack of care for himself for a little bit, before leaping up when they heard the door close. Sure, maybe eavesdropping was a little morally wrong in this instance, but they wanted to know why Sam wasn’t tending to his wound. Would he be okay?

Puffy’s voice was muffled, because it was soft and laced with concern. “Why didn’t you call me sooner? Those boys need you, and they can’t have you if you die.”

Sam’s was loose and tired, “I didn’t want to think about the wound. It made me think about that… thing, standing above Purpled and Ranboo, like back then.”

“Back… when? Sam?”

They didn’t hear Sam’s answer, because he never did. They could, however, hear Puffy panicking. Tommy frowned. “C’mon, guys. Let’s go watch a movie.” He wrapped his wings around the other two, and turned up the volume to try and pretend that they couldn’t hear Puffy yelling at Sam to not fall asleep.

It was a while before Puffy came out of the room, and when she did, Sam didn’t follow. She made sure that they couldn’t see into the room, so they just waited for her to come over. 

“Hi, boys.” She sighed, “I’m sorry you had to hear that. We’ll probably have to talk once he’s awake, but he’ll be fine for now.”

They made room for her on the couch, and they all sat in silence. At some point, after Puffy made them all dinner, they fell asleep, but Puffy woke up alone. The boys had all moved to sleep by the door to the medical room, in a large cuddly pile. She had to smile, but it faded when she remembered how Sam was.

It was rough, she had to admit, but he’d make it. If the nonsense he’d let out in a fit of distress about his past was any indication, he’d gone through much worse. They’d have to talk about that.

The room was cheerful, not the plain white that the Community House room had on its walls. Here, there were soft lights, not harsh, and it was welcoming. On the far wall there were a few beds, only one long enough to fit Sam. Clearly, he’d planned to end up there at some point. Given the server, Puffy couldn’t say she blamed him. 

Sam was sitting up, which she wasn’t pleased about. She didn’t want to redo the stitches, but his weary grin made her decide not to be so fussy with him.

“Hi, Puffy. I’m guessing my boys called you?”

So he didn’t remember. That was a little concerning. “Yup. You’ve got some good ones, there. Do you know how you got here? Any recollection of anything from when you got home to now?”

“I… yeah, pretty much everything, except from a little after I sat down in the recliner. I can’t remember what, but I know I definitely spilled something to you.”

Puffy gave Sam a tense smile. “Yeah. It was a bit of your, your childhood. Do you want to talk about it?”

She could see the confliction in his eyes before he sighed and looked down. “I probably should. Talk, I mean. To both you and the boys- you deserve to know. The only person who really knows turned out to be a pretty awful person.” He chuckled harshly, sniffling a bit. 

“Dream, you mean?” Puffy asked slowly, wincing at the mention of her… of the child that should’ve grown up so different. What had happened to the happy little boy that had been so innocent? “He knows?”

Sam nodded. “He was the one that brought me here.”

Abruptly, to change the subject, Puffy spoke up. “The boys slept outside the door last night because they weren’t sure if they were allowed in. They’re worried, Sam.”

“Can I go see them? I should apologize.”

“You can go see them, but you don’t have anything to apologize for, Sam. You were just trying to avoid the past. We can all understand that.”

It was comical, they all had to admit, watching Puffy try to help someone two feet taller than her walk, so Ranboo stepped in. He was the tallest, besides Sam, anyway.

They all sat in the living room, and they chatted aimlessly until the others came home. They’d been messaged, saying that Sam needed to talk. 

“It started when I was younger, I guess. I forget how old, exactly, at this point. Young, innocent. Impressionable. I lived with my mother, because my dad was never there. She would never tell me why, but I know, now. Hunters got him. Hunters that are hired to go after hybrids, to make sure that they never felt safe. My mother must’ve fled, at some point. I’m not sure if I was born yet or not when they got seperated, but we found a nice server and lived there for a bit. Recovered. Spent time together because she lived in fear that it would get cut short.”

Sam looked out the window and smiled ruefully. “We had a nice life, the two of us. Until the hunters found her, and then me.”

* * *

_ The sun was beating down on the plains, hot and fierce. Of course, little Sam had always liked the heat. It was comfortable. His mother wasn’t all that fond of it, but she tolerated the heat for him. She really did love Sam, she loved him with all of her heart, and would do anything, give anything to keep him safe. _

_ And so, the day started off. Sam woke up and had breakfast, and since it was a weekend from the homeschooling that his mother insisted on doing despite how much he begged to go to a real school, he had plans laid out. They were elaborate, they were detailed, and they would take up the whole day, right up until he ran inside to have dinner with his mother. It really was a shame they never got carried out. _

_ “Good morning, you little munchkin. Sleep well?” His mother had asked, smiling fondly at him as she mixed up some eggs. _

_ Sam grinned as he climbed onto one of the seats by the table. “Yup! I had a cool dream, too. Wanna hear?” _

_ He rambled about his dreams, which were elaborate in themselves, because he had such a vivid imagination. He wouldn’t know it, but those were the last dreams in a long time that wouldn’t be plagued with fire and death. His mother listened as she continued cooking, fiddling with the old, rickety stove every now and then to coax it to work. _

_ Eventually, she sat down and handed him a bowl of eggs. “Make sure you eat all of those before you go and run off, okay?” She said, propping her chin up on one of her hands and smiling at her son. _

_ “I will!” Sam promised, not knowing that the bowl of eggs would be overturned, chipped and forgotten, before he even got halfway through. _

_ It was quiet for a moment, but his mother got up to get a glass of water at some point. She was at the sink, filling the cup up, when she looked out of the large window. “Sam,” she started, voice shaking slightly, “Go downstairs and hide, okay? We’re, uh, we’re gonna play a game of hide and go seek, okay?” _

_ Sam scrunched his face up. “That doesn’t sound like a whole lot of fun, if you know where I’m hiding.” _

_ “Sam,” she said, sharper this time. Tense. “Go. I need you to stay down there, okay? Even if you hear people calling for you. Stay here until I come back and knock three times, alright?” She demonstrated a small rhythm, easy for the child to remember. _

_ “Okay.” Sam said. “But momma, you’re scaring me.” _

_ “It’ll be okay, honey.” She promised, tears filling her eyes. Which one of them was she trying to reassure? “It’ll be fine. Just go now. I love you.” _

_ “I love you, too!” Sam called as he went down the stairs into the cellar. _

_ His mother could spare no time to think about Sam anymore. He was a great hider, he was too smart for his own good. He would be fine. He was a good boy, but it was a shame he didn’t get to be a child any longer than now. _

_ She went to her room, grabbing some armor that had been hidden. Really, she was just glad that Sam hadn’t found it when he was looking for a spot for hide and go seek. Next, she went into her bedroom closet and took out her weapons. She was a little rusty, but she hoped it would be enough. She’d given up the blade for motherhood, chosen her battles and chosen life. Now, their time was up.  _

_ If she listened hard enough, she could hear Sam scratching around for the perfect place to hide, but it settled down. She opened the door, whispered a prayer that he’d found it, and stepped into the fields, where a group stood waiting for her.  _

_ Hunters.  _

_ She’d been expecting them. Not this soon, but she had been. She only hoped she’d done enough to ensure Sam’s survival. As she raised her weapon, she tried to smile. Best case scenario, she’d see her son again. Worst case, she’d see her husband.  _

_ Sam wanted a fun game. He really liked winning, and his mom had seemed a little stressed, so maybe he could win if he found a really, really good spot.  _

_ He searched for a little, but a small part of his brain told him to hurry. He wasn’t sure why, it was just a game, right? Maybe his mom was going to trick him and give him less time to hide so that she could win. She wouldn’t do that, though, right? _

_ The hunt for the perfect spot ended when he spotted a small part of the wall that looked like it was loose. She wouldn’t expect him to go into the wall, right? _

_ A piece of the wood came off, almost as if connected by a hinge. It swung outwards, harder to access from the outside than the inside. It was perfect. He gave it no thought, then, at least, as to why it had opened so easily, like it had been made for that very purpose. _

_ He was expecting to be met with whatever the inside of a wall looked like, but as far as his little brain knew, walls didn’t lead to empty tunnels. Did they? Was this just an abandoned mine from when they had first moved in and his mom went mining? _

_ The small part of his brain urged him forward. He played it off as finding an even better place to hide, but he was getting scared. It was dark down there, he’d just woken up, and he hadn’t eaten much before he was sent down here. Without his momma. _

_ He wandered down the small corridor, which looked as if it was for a child, so surely it wasn’t used by him mom. What was the use of having a mine if no adults could go down it? _

_ “For a child to escape,” His mouth said. Where had that come from? Escape? From what? The word ‘instincts’ appeared vividly, and as he continued down the poorly lit passage, he started to cry.  _

_ He didn’t want to play hide and go seek. He wanted his mom, but she had told him to stay down there until she came knocking, and he didn’t want to disobey her. It was a good thing he had started crying, in a way. If he had been quieter, he would’ve heard his mother’s screams and the laughter of men as they approached his home. He would’ve heard the crackle of fire, a little later, and the sound of horse’s hooves as they searched for the child they’d been told lived there too. _

_ The child, however, had reached the surface, a long ways away from home.  _

_ Sam surfaced next to a lake. He’d never really seen a lake before, because his mother wanted to live in the plains so that she could see around them. “Momma doesn’t like being sneaked up on.” He said to himself as he climbed out of the tunnel. He vaguely remembered this lake, he thought. He wasn’t sure why, as he was almost positive that he’d never actually seen it, but the more he stood there, the more he felt like he knew it.  _

_ He was in a forest, but his mother had always told him to never go in the forest. The forest meant getting lost. _

_ “Momma?” He asked, looking around. His tears had stopped for a moment, but they started up again. He felt like he shouldn’t shout, but he really wanted to. “Momma?” He asked, a little louder this time. _

_ “What is wrong, child?” The voice wasn’t his mother’s. It wasn’t soft, honey-like, or comforting. It was smooth, and it sounded like a hiss. “Why do you weep?” _

_ Sam turned to see where the voice was coming from, and he gave a little yelp when he saw the green-speckled face of a creeper staring at him from under one of the trees a little further into the woods.  _

_ “I want my momma. She told me to go hide, but now I’m lost.” He sniffled. “Do you know my momma?” _

_ “Oh, child.” The creeper mourned, hissing softly. “You’re the hybrid who lives in the plains.” _

_ Sam nodded, “Can you bring me home?” _

_ The creeper shook its head. “I can’t, little one. There’s nothing left. The hunters came and burned your house down. They search for you, now. I was worried you’d been found. It’s a good thing your mother had prepared for this.” _

_ Sam furrowed his brow. “It’s gone? But where’s momma? She promised that she’d come back.” _

_ The creeper hummed, burning slightly. “Then that is your first lesson in survival, child. Never trust promises.” _

_ Sam didn’t stay with the creeper long. It was killed by a lone player before morning, and he was left, alone, in a forest. Crying, most of the time, dirty, and tired. He fell asleep in a bush that he had crawled into, cold after spending most of his life in the sun of the plains. _

_ The forest became his home. His safe place. It was easy enough to evade the hunters for a while, if he let his instincts override his mind, but he never liked doing it. He hated the explosions he caused, loud and disruptive. His skin was always sore and tender when he cowered in a crater of his own making, and he had to limp back to the shelter of the forest before the hunters brought more backup. _

_ As the explosions grew more frequent, the barrier between creeper and human thinned. He hissed more than he spoke, he lurked more than he walked, he exploded more than he fought. He was still a child, small and vulnerable. The creepers of the forest gave him a wide berth. To be by him meant to be hunted.  _

_ He was a little feral child, at best, before someone from the server who had known his mother found him. It was a miracle that it was someone who didn’t support the server’s choices to let the hunters in, and even more of a miracle that they were leaving it. _

_ It had taken a while to convince Sam to leave with them.  _

_ “Sam? Oh, my god, Sam? Is that you? I thought they’d gotten you, oh, Sam,” _

_ The words fell on empty ears. He’d learned to survive, not to live. He ran as soon as he had gained passage out of the server, because to be with people was to cause death. _

_ Sam grew on pilfering and server-hopping, often illegally. No one knew his name, just his face. As he grew older, better at hiding, the pictures grew outdated. His older features were his own disguise from the wanted posters that displayed the badly drawn photos of a small creeper hybrid, but it was better to still hide. _

_ A few years later, Sam managed to find himself a friend. Unnamed, now, the title they went by blocked from his memory once he’d grown, either because of the pain the memories caused or because of how long ago it was. They didn’t last long anyway, despite how much the two trusted each other. Their friendship was for survival, but it meant a lot to both of them. Unnamed was a hybrid, too. A blaze hybrid. Fire and gunpowder was dangerous, but they made it work. _

_ Sam had been injured, pushed into a corner, Unnamed standing over him as the hunters approached. _

_ “Hey there, sonny. Been a long time since we caught your trail, huh?” One of them sneered, and Sam whimpered. _

_ Unnamed snarled right back. “You aren’t getting him.” _

_ “And why’s that?” _

_ “He’s lived too long to be taken by you filth. Sam,” Unnamed said desperately, knowing how grim their situation was, “I’m lighting up. You know what to do.” _

_ “No,” Sam responded, sobbing at either the pain or the sorrow he felt, “It’ll kill you.” _

_ “But not you,” Unnamed retorted, “And isn’t that the point of me? To ensure your survival? Sent by your mother to protect you?” _

_ “What?” Sam had asked, mouth dry, but it was too late. The gunpowder had risen, and he was alone, in a crater raging with flames as his blood fell onto the ground.  _

_ He made sure to travel alone after that. Trusting no one was in his very genes at that point. He was tired of life, but he needed to keep going. His momma would be mad if he went to see her this early.  _

* * *

“Yeah.” Sam said, looking at the ground. “At some point, Dream found me. It was many years later, anyway. You don’t want the whole story.”

“Sure we do,” Ranboo protested. “If it’s important, we want to hear it. As long as you want to share, of course.”

Sam just shook his head. “No. You don’t want to hear it. What I did, how I survived… It’s not a story you should hear. Just know that I’m doing okay, now. I guess this family is as much for me as for you guys, though, huh?”

Ranboo hummed, then snuggled into Sam’s side. “I love you. You know that, right, dad?”

Sam couldn’t respond immediately, though, because Ranboo had spurred a whole chorus of ‘i love you’s from the group, and once they were done, he was laughing. 

“Aw, I love you guys, too. Now, it’s late, and  _ way _ past your bedtime.” 

They didn’t move, though. They just let Tommy use all of the blankets to make a giant nest for them to sleep in, right in the middle of the living room. Niki had traveled over to spend the night with Puffy, and Eret stayed as well. They were a big, happy family, and though they all had pasts that they didn’t want to think about, they had a future that they looked forward to. 


	11. Control and Loss (the past comes knocking)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ranboo runs into Phil and Techno. They've messed with something they shouldn't have, and he wants to let them know that.
> 
> Sam is struggling. His creeper side is getting more powerful, and soon his past catches up to him.
> 
> Maybe there's hope for the server, yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think there will be one more chapter, since i've got a big project coming up... but maybe not ;)

Have you ever felt loss? No, really, have you ever felt a loss so deep in your soul that you cried out in pain because something was wrong, something was bad, but you had no idea what? Ranboo could answer yes, because he’d really just been drying dishes, trying to avoid the water that dripped off of them, when he crumpled to the ground in anguish.

The pain he felt was intense, and he felt it right next to his heart. The cry that he’d let out wasn’t human, not even remotely, it was Ender- and he had no idea why it hurt so much.

Until he figured it out a few days later, completely by accident.

Ranboo was… mad. Livid, you could say. He really had no business to be, but, well… well actually, that was a lie.

You see, it had started when he ran into Techno and Phil. Now I know this sounds concerning, because it was, but they had claimed that Tommy hadn’t been to see them in a while, and they were worried. They decided that their worry was enough to warrant a visit to Sam’s house uninvited, and while Ranboo really didn’t care about their presence much, he had noticed that Techno wasn’t wearing a chestplate.

When Techno turned a little, he found out why. A silky purple pair of wings rested on his shoulders, but they hadn’t been grown. They’d been stolen.

Ranboo’s eyes narrowed. “That’s a nice pair of wings. Where’d you get them?”

For once, Phil looked a little nervous. “Well, we couldn't help but notice that the end portal was open, so we figured we would explore it a bit. Found those, but since I already have wings, I figured Techno could use them.”

Now, Ranboo knew how you got elytra. Endermen were supposed to guard the treasure in their cities with their lives, so he could do that math. “How many stacks of ender pearls did you get?” He asked nonchalantly. “I hope this round of mass murder was more fun than your last one.”

Techno coughed. “No need to get hostile. We didn’t kill any endermen.”

“Besides,” Phil mentioned, “Even if we did,”

“What?” Ranboo asked, leaning against the doorframe. “They’re less than human? Their lives don’t matter? Just like how  _ mine _ didn’t when you wanted to use me as a weapon?”

Phil recoiled. “I didn’t mean it like that-”

“But it’s your honest opinion.” Ranboo shrugged. “Not much I can do about that. Tommy’ll be over in a few days, I think. He was helping Sam with something or other, or maybe he’s watching a movie with Fundy.”

“Fundy’s here?” Phil asked.

“Yeah.” Ranboo said, not saying anything as the two others stood on the doorstep. When they turned away, Ranboo said, “Why’d you lie? You think I don’t know everything about the End? I know that you have several other elytras in your hold. I can sense them. They call to me.”

“What’re they saying?” Techno asked, almost doubtful.

Ranboo grinned. “You don’t deserve them. They want me to kill you.” Then his grin dropped. His mind had made the connection. “When did you go to the End?”

Techno shook his head. “You’re gonna say that and then expect answers?”

Ranboo growled, low and soft. There was nothing soft other than the volume of it, though. Everything in it meant harm. “When did you go to the End, Technoblade?”

“Geez, I dunno. A few days ago. Why?”

“You didn’t happen to come across an island,” Ranboo stepped forward, towering over Techno as he felt his posture grow, “With tall, black towers on it, did you?” The dark part of his face inched past the line across the middle of it, “You didn’t happen to find a dragon there, did you? You didn’t happen to  _ kill _ said dragon, the Queen, would you?”

Techno shook his head. “Nope. No dragon.”

Ranboo’s jaw unhinged a little more. “Good,” He said, “Because those types of actions, should you be lying, like I know you are, would have dire consequences. I can’t just let the murder of my Queen go unpunished, now, can I?”

Phil stepped forward. “Hey, are you threatening him? Just because you’re young doesn’t mean I won’t hurt you.”

From behind Ranboo, Sam stepped forward. “And just because you’re old doesn’t mean I won’t fight you for hurting my son. I’m having a thin day, Phil. I’d stay away. My temper isn’t the strongest thing right now.”

Ranboo had no idea what a thin day was at that moment, even if it was explained to him later, but Phil did. Techno did. Nearly every hybrid did, so it was an effective threat. A thin day- a day where the hybrid part of your brain is in more control than your human side. In Sam’s case, a thin day could be deadly for everyone around him.

Sam had woken up and knew it was a bad day, so he called Puffy to hang around. If he completely lost control, he’d need someone to take care of his boys. Puffy had helped him through many thin days, so he trusted her. 

He’d spent the whole morning mad at every little thing, biting his tongue so that he wouldn’t yell at his sons. They didn’t deserve to be yelled at. Phil and Techno, though? They were people that he could lose a little control around and be fine. They wouldn’t expect it, but they wouldn’t be offended. His rage at them was justified, and they knew it.

“Go inside, Ranboo.” Sam said, staring Phil in the eyes. “Don’t look out of the windows. I’ll be back soon, to help you calm down.” He hated how the promise was so similar to his mother’s. 

“A thin day? You’re gonna threaten us with that?” Techno droned once the door had closed.

_ Yes _ , the voice said eagerly,  _ blow it all up. Kill them. They deserve it. Make them burn. Burn it all. _

Sam hissed, the air around him smelling of gunpowder. The bitter taste of it was rising up his throat, begging to be let out, but he couldn’t- “Look me in the eyes, Technoblade, and you tell me if I seem like someone you should mess with.” He snarled, and when Techno obeyed, he saw nothing but fire and flame. Everything he loved, burned, and at the center of it all, was Sam, undamaged and furious, grasping a handful of singed grey feathers.

It was a moment before Techno dared to speak up again. “Let’s go, Phil.”

“Leave the End alone.” Sam said. “You’ve done enough damage. I’ve got no doubt that Ranboo knows exactly how many lives you’ve ruined. Some day, I’m not going to prevent him from losing control, and that’s a fight you won’t win. I suggest you tread carefully around us.”

Phil saluted, but it wasn’t out of respect. He knew that his father hood over Tommy had been stolen by Sam. “Will do, Sam. Try not to lose it today, will you?”

“Low blow.” Sam called back, before he went inside.

_ No _ , the voice scowled.  _ You have to explode. _

“Not today. Not now,” He whispered to himself. Ranboo needed help.

The day went from okay to bad, for Sam. He’d tried to hold his shouts back, but once he got a headache, it was much harder. With the pounding in his head begging him to just ruin everything, he could barely hold back his harsh words.

Puffy approached him when he was in the kitchen making lunch, trying to escape the pressure of interaction. He just wanted her to leave. 

“Hey, Sam, are you doing okay?” Her voice was soft, and comforting, and he hated every syllable.

“I’m fine.” He ground out, palms digging into his eyelids. 

Puffy tilted her head. “Are you sure?”

Sam huffed. “I’m fine! It’s just all a bit much. Drop it.”

“Okay, but I think you should maybe talk about it with the boys, so that they know. They can tell something’s off.”

“Just drop it.” He growled, straightening his back to continue making lunch, trying to ignore the voice.

_ Kill her. Stain the walls with- _

Her footsteps echoed as she left.

The footsteps came back. 

_ Let out your frustration. It will feel better, I promise it will feel better. _

“I thought I told you to  _ drop it! _ ” He yelled, turning around to meet- Tommy’s eyes. Tommy’s very, very terrified eyes. Sam sighed as his eyes filled with tears, turning back to the counter and leaning his elbows on it, tangling his fingers into his hair. “I’m sorry, Tommy. I didn’t mean to yell.”

“It’s okay, Sam.”

_ Kill him. Burn it all. Yell. Scream _ .

Sam winced at the use of his name. “No it’s not. I shouldn’t have lost my temper. I just-” Quick, make up an excuse, don’t let him think you’re weak and undeserving- “I didn’t get enough sleep last night.”

Tommy shrugged. “I don’t really mind, I’m used to it. You don’t have to, but if you ever want to tell me the real reason that you’re all pissy today, feel free.”

Sam went to apologize again, but Tommy was gone, and he just felt worse than before he had yelled. Outside, it started raining, reflecting the tears that fell down his face.

It had been raining for a while, and it was when everyone was together in the living room that everything started going even more wrong.

“How are you holding up?” Puffy asked Sam, eyes concerned. She was worried about how he was suffering, trying to suppress his instincts.

“I-” He didn’t get to respond, because outside, a loud clap of thunder made itself known.

“Guess we’re not going outside,” Tommy sighed, wrapping a wing around Tubbo, who curled up. “The weather probably won’t get any better for a while.”

Sam winced as another lightening flash lit up the room. “Puffy, I-” He coughed, trying to push down the need to  _ blow it all up _ .

“What? What is it, Sam?” Puffy asked, putting a hand on Sam’s back. It was far too warm.

Sam’s eyes were glazed over. “I need to go outside. Please. I need to- I need-”

“Alright, alright, but are you sure?”

“Yes,” Sam whined. “I need to go outside. I know how it ends up, Puff, but  _ please _ .”

Puffy didn’t have the heart to stop Sam as he stumbled out of the door. “Come on,” She sighed, noticing all of the boys’ confused looks. “I’ll explain on the way.”

It was pouring outside, and creepers were everywhere. The thunder was loud, and more than one of the group flinched at the loud noises. 

“What are they all doing?” Fundy gaped, turning to look at the group of light green mobs, Sam included.

“Trying to get charged,” Puffy sighed again, “Sam’s creeper half usually can’t overpower him when it starts to thunder, but he’s having a thin day today. I’ve never seen him this weak against his instincts, so we need to be here in case something happens.”

No one mentioned how ‘something’ was Sam exploding.

They all knew it, anyway.

Ranboo’s hair flopped in front of his face, but suddenly, a large flash occurred, and he squeezed his eyes shut at the bright light. He didn’t see what happened, he didn’t know what was going on, all he heard was Puffy yelling at them to run.

_____

Sam felt alive. 

He’d never felt this powerful, ever. Then again, he’d never gotten charged, either. But when that lightning collided with his body, instead of hurting him, it circled around him. It was warm, comforting. It called to his creeper side, called at him to  _ burn it all to the ground.  _

He’d been chosen to- to what?

When he looked up from where he’d been knocked to the ground, he saw some players. He didn’t recognize them. Part of him did, but not the part that mattered. Not the part that held control. Not the part that could stop his explosions. 

His eyes were wild, crazed. His hair whirled in the slight wind that the lightning around him made, and he breathed softly. A smile crept its way onto his face, and his hand formed a fist as he got up. Now was the time to strike- a whole group of people that he could hurt? He could kill? He’d been presented with a unique opportunity.

_ Wonderful. Kill them. Feel the heat of the blast. _

He stalked towards the group. They called out his name, but he didn’t hear it. All he heard was ringing. All he felt was heat. Power. The call of the explosion that had formed itself in his stomach. It needed to be let out. It was far too late to stop it.

The players ran from his glowing form, but one stumbled and fell. The lone victim, evidently.

When the person (was it a person? It had wings- surely- why did those wings seem so familiar?) turned to look at him as he scrambled backwards, something lurched in his chest. He needed to gain control again. That was Tommy, Tommy,  _ Tommy- _

“Tommy.” He croaked. “I can’t stop it-” The gunpowder rose up his throat, there was no time to prevent the explosion, there was no time to escape the blast zone, there were only two options.

Kill Tommy, or,

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, crouching down as the lightning swirled around him.

Internalize it. Something he’d never tried. It was better than nothing, though. Better than the death of Tommy.

The pain was something he’d never felt before. The blast had always pushed away from his body, not towards it, and he couldn’t tell if the screams he heard were his own or those of his family. Either way, he figured he wouldn’t be the one to deal with the aftermath. He was going to be dead, most likely.

_____

Sam wasn’t dead. He wished he was, because the burning on his skin hurt like he’d been run over by a trail made of scorching-hot embers, but he wasn’t. He was still alive, which was some kind of miracle. His eyes weren’t opening, which was slightly concerning, but he was alive. That was a starting point.

It took a few minutes for him to be able to pry his eyes open. He was met with a blue sky and several heads staring back at him, all mouthing words at him. Why weren’t they talking?

He stayed in one spot, too sore to move. His eyes looked from one spot to another, realizing that his hearing was slowly fading back from nothing but a low drone. The voices started to make sense to him.

“Sam? Sam, are you okay? Never do that again,” Puffy cried, leaning into Niki’s side. When had she gotten there?

“Dad? Why aren’t you responding?” Tommy panicked, carefully touching Sam’s hand. Sam tried his hardest to speak, but he couldn’t. Instead, he managed to move his fingers into Tommy’s hold. “Dad?” He asked hopefully, and Sam nodded slightly.

Ranboo moved over. “I, uh, I got a totem from my enderchest, because we couldn’t move you inside. We’ve done our best out here, but we’re all soggy now.” Ranboo had several cloaks piled over his head, protecting him from any rain that fell from the trees nearby.

“I’m back,” Purpled said, and he was holding a glass of water. “Is he awake yet?”

“Just woke up,” Sam heard Fundy say from somewhere, then the glass was held to his mouth. 

He drank the water slowly, until his throat felt a little better.

“What happened?” He choked out, coughing a little. 

Puffy frowned. “You ran outside and ended up getting charged, then you went… you went a little crazy. I think your creeper side managed to take control, at least until you almost- you almost-”

“Blew up Tommy?” He croaked.

“Yeah.” Puffy smiled weakly. “Then, I dunno, you blew up, but not as big as it should have been, and then you looked almost dead, if not completely mauled,”

“I imploded.” Sam sighed, closing his eyes. “Didn’t wanna- didn’t wanna hurt ‘im.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, Big Man, but you didn’t have to.” Tommy said quietly. Too quietly. 

Sam nodded. “I did. I’d be a shit father to kill my own son, huh?”

It was quiet as the irony in the words sunk in. “Yeah,” Tommy winced. “I guess you would be. But… Why'd you keep all this a secret? Everyone has thin days.”

“No one gets as bad as I do,” Sam sighed, choosing his words carefully, “I… I didn’t want you to see me so weak. In such little control. I’m supposed to be strong for you, for all of you.”

“But you are!” Tommy insisted. “I think all of us are strong for dealing with what we have. It’s just like you’re always telling us, we shouldn’t be ashamed to ask for help when we need it.”

Sam smiled. “Yeah. I guess I should take my own advice, huh?”

___

They all waited out with Sam for the night, and most of the next day, sometimes taking breaks to go inside. This went on until Sam could move inside as well, which was sped up with potions and various other things. Puffy had been sent home, along with Niki and Eret, since the others insisted that they could handle it.

Sam was draped over Ranboo, and the others stood by for support if they were needed. Just as they were about to move, a voice shouted from nearby.

“Hey, stop right there!”

Tommy turned around. He saw a large group of men there (could they fight them off if they needed to?), and he thought about what the appropriate response was. “What do you bitches want? How’d you even get on this server?”

“Well,” said one of them with a wicked grin, “The admin in charge, while one is in prison, is currently being held up by a kid. It didn’t take much work to force our way in. Speaking of that admin, by the way, we’re really good friends, and I was hoping I could take him back home?”

Purpled squinted at the man and his weapons. “He is home. Why do I doubt your relationship with him is good?”

“Ah,” The man shrugged, “It was worth a try. Guess I’m gonna bring in…” He counted in his head while he stared at the ragtag group of people, “Three hybrids instead of just one.”

Tommy stepped forward and unfurled his wings in a protective manner. “You better not be the hybrid hunters that he told us about. If you are, we’re gonna have issues.”

“Four, then.” The man considered, admiring Tommy’s wings in a way that made him want to hide them again. “And, we are. After years of tracking creeper hybrid explosions- a  _ very _ difficult piece of code, by the way -we saw the largest one ever. It could only be the little shit that’s been avoiding us since he was a tiny kid. He’s my life’s work, and I’m bringing him in, then I’m going to retire with the biggest paycheck of my life.”

Ranboo slowly lowered Sam to the ground. “That’s not gonna happen.” He growled, letting his height grow as tall as it was supposed to be. The line on his face blurred, and this time, he felt in control.

Purpled unsheathed his sword. “I’d really hoped to not fight again, but if it’s for him, then I’d do it any day of the week.”

“Oh,” The man said, eyeing Purpled, “You’re the kid that Lucas was talkin’ about before he was killed. I wonder if it was this creeper that managed to finally off him. I’m surprised  _ you _ didn’t, what with your reputation as a stone-cold murderer.”

Purpled flinched, but Fundy wrapped a tail around him. “We’re not letting you take him.” Fundy figured it’d be best to not mention Sam’s name.

“As if a  _ fox _ could stop us. We’ll bring you all in, I’m sure the regular kid’ll at least serve as leverage instead of being utterly useless.” The man motioned to Tubbo.

“Tubbo isn’t useless.” Tommy snarled, wings fluffing furiously. “Bring it on, bucko. I’ll fuckin’, I’ll kill you all for even stepping foot in this server. We’re all non-human here, pretty much, so you best believe we’re not letting you leave alive.”

“Can confirm!” Tubbo said cheerfully, “I’m messaging everyone now!”

It really wasn’t a fair fight, at all. Not when Puffy, Niki, and Eret came rushing back with their weapons sharpened and ready for blood. Not when Jack showed up, hands blazing, because after all of his rage he needed to be there for those that lived on the server. Not when the rest of the Badlands showed up, not when Karl and his group showed up, not when Techno and Phil showed up because they knew they’d be hunted next. Not when everyone banded together, because after everything that the server had gone through, they were still connected. They still cared, deep down, maybe not very much for some, but they did.

It was a fun fight, to be honest. Quackity marveled over Tommy’s wings with many others who were seeing them for the first time, people caught up for the first time in ages. Even if the fighters that broke would have to be put together by their own individual families, there were no wars on the server for a very long time. Not when they saw the past of just one of the members. Not when they realized that the only thing that mattered were the relationships that had been shattered by time. 

Even if Tubbo went back to Snowchestire, even if Fundy moved into the castle with Eret, even if Puffy visited less because she and Niki were thinking of adopting, even if everyone else moved out down the road, Sam still had his family. It had grown, if anything, to include the rest of the server in some capacity. They weren’t all forgiven, not completely, and the deeds of the past certainly wouldn’t be forgotten, but they were on the road to recovery. Even if it took years, they’d make it to the end, eventually, and maybe they’d get the happy epilogue they deserved the entire time.


	12. Secrets Fester (but they aren't the only things that grow)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy's hybrid half urges him to seek out his family.  
> Sam is hiding something, but they don't know what.  
> Tubbo learns about a part of himself he didn't know existed and is reminded of his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lemme know what you want more of! my brain really went 'no. u aint done with this yet'

Tommy woke up last a few days later to a soft trilling in the corners of his mind. He groaned- it was his turn for a thin day, apparently. He wasn’t surprised, he’d read that families tended to group their days close together. 

He sat up and sighed. His thin days were always embarrassing, his stupid little bird brain always wanted to spend time with his family, and constantly wanted cuddles. Tommy didn’t want cuddles.

_ Yes you do. _

Tommy huffed. No, he didn’t want cuddles. He wanted to get through the day without getting teased. Maybe he could just stay in his room all day. Yes, that was a good idea.

_ Make a nest?  _ His mind asked, getting excited.

He rolled his eyes. Okay, maybe he could make a nest. That was relatively normal, right? His hands moved to grasp the blankets and shape them into a sort of circling wall, with enough space in the middle for him to curl up underneath his wings. He ignored the happy cooing that his mind wanted to release- he couldn’t just chirp and trill, that’d bring noise, and noise meant someone coming in, which meant embarrassment. He didn’t want that.

_ Flock _ , The bird in him trilled sadly.  _ Where’s your flock? _

“Busy,” Tommy grumbled, moving a wing to cover his face. “So shut the fuck up.”

He stayed there, keeping the sounds at bay, for a long time. Too long.

There was a knock at the door. “Hey, Tommy?” Ranboo asked. “Are you alright? It’s almost noon, and you never sleep in this long.”

Tommy opened his mouth to say he was fine, but a distressed chirp escaped instead. He winced, hoping Ranboo didn’t hear it.

“Uh, pardon?” Ranboo chuckled a little. “Can I come in?”

He wanted to say no. But the part that wanted to say no was overpowered by his bird brain. Literally. “Yes.” He sighed reluctantly.

When he walked in, Ranboo immediately spoke. “Aww, Tommy, is it a thin day?”

He nodded miserably, forgetting that his wing was covering his face. 

“Aw, Tommy, come on, most of us are in the living room.”

His stupid bird sounds made him give out a happy trill, and then he cut it off with a grumble. “They’re gonna tease me.”

_ Flock? Flock?  _

Ranboo lifted Tommy’s wing and stared at his face. “If I make them promise you aren’t going to say anything, will you come out? It’s not healthy to suppress this.”

Tommy sighed. “Fine. But they need to promise to not take any photos for blackmail.”

Ranboo left the room, which his mind didn’t like, but he sucked it up. Eventually, Ranboo came back and beckoned Tommy to follow him.

When they got to the living room, he frowned. “Where’s Dad?”

_ Flock? Where is the flock? Why is it not complete? _

“Prison.” Purpled sighed. “Something about making sure the prisoner didn’t die.”

“That’s okay though,” Tubbo smiled. “We’re here! We’re enough, right?”

Tommy’s frown deepened. “I guess.” He went over and flopped on top of whoever was on the couch. He wasn’t sure who, but someone started preening his wings and he let out a happy sigh that morphed into a purr. 

All of them remained close to the living room for most of the morning, taking turns being near Tommy since his body radiated warmth and the house tended to be a bit colder (which didn’t make a whole lot of sense, since Sam liked warmth, but..). 

Sam came back a little after lunch. 

“What took you so long?” Fundy drawled, head hanging off of the couch and feet dangling over the back. “You got a secret girlfriend?”

Sam had been drinking some water, and nearly spit it out. He was content to stick with choking on it, instead. “No,” He said weakly. “Nope, no girlfriend here. I just had a weird conversation with Dream and had to think about it a bit.”

Everyone squinted at Sam for a moment, but Tommy interrupted by barreling into him. “Hi, dad.”

“Hey, Tommy,” Sam smiled. “Your turn, huh?”

Tommy chirped a bit, burrowing his head into Sam’s chest and letting his wings circle them both.

“Who’s the clingy one now?” Tubbo mused from a chair. “Hint, it’s not me.”

________

Sam was having an odd day. He hadn’t been lying when he said he’d gone to the prison, but Dream was being weird.

________

_ “So, how’d those hybrid hunters end up?” Dream asked nonchalantly.  _

_ Sam turned. He was just about to leave, but… “You knew they were coming? And you didn’t warn us? I have the emergency contact button for a reason, Dream.” _

_ Dream chuckled. “I knew you wouldn’t have your device on, since you exploded, and well, I couldn’t be bothered to reach anyone else by now. Haven’t you learned, Sam, that I just don’t care?” _

_ Sam glared at him. “You’re lucky my boys took care of them. Tubbo and Purpled could’ve been killed, since humans are no use to the hunters.” _

_ “Humans?” Dream laughed again, before realizing Sam was serious. “Sam, no one on this server is completely human. I made sure of it.” _

_ “What?” Sam shook his head. “You’re saying they’re hybrids, too?” _

_ Dream was quiet. “I’ve already helped you enough. I think you’ve gotta give me something in return, if you want more.” _

_ “Alright. Be like that, then. See you next week.” Sam sighed, leaving the prison. His brain was muddled with thoughts. _

_ When were Tubbo and Purpled going to show their true colors? What hybrids were they? Was Dream even telling the truth? _

__________

And, well… He took a detour before he got home, sure, but he hadn’t been lying when he said he didn’t have a  _ girlfriend _ … but it felt weird keeping a secret, even if he’d been keeping it for a while.

He had Tommy to think about before tonight… would he be able to leave the house? Tommy seemed pretty attached. 

The day went by okay after he got home, to be fair. There was one incident where Tommy tried to get on top of the fridge to divebomb everyone since he was too tired to fly up, but Sam got him down. 

Having a relatively tame Tommy was a nice change, but it was odd. Sam kinda wanted his energised son back, even if he was a little annoying at times. 

At any rate, he’d made some half put together excuse as to why he needed to leave for the night, and planned on leaving through a hidden back door connected to his room once he was ready. He looked in the mirror and scrunched his face up. He hated wearing suits. He was more a sweatshirt type of guy, or he wore his mask when he was working, but never suits. Why was he doing this again?

He patted down his- jacket? He wasn’t sure what it was called, but he straightened it (some part of his brain snorted at that), then fiddled with his tie.

The door burst open before he could stop it, and then it was just Sam, in a fancy suit, staring at Tommy, both looking like deer in headlights.

“Where you going, big man?” Tommy asked, less clingy than this morning as his human side was taking back more control. 

Sam winced. He couldn’t lie to Tommy, even if he wanted to. Not directly. “I’ve uh, I’ve got a date.”

Tommy lit up. “No kidding? Who’s the lucky lady?”

“I’m gonna refrain from answering that.” Sam chuckled nervously. “Are you going to be alright while I’m gone?”

“Are you crazy? We gotta tell the others so we can hype you up, and then we’re gonna meet our new mom!” (Sam didn’t know it, but Tommy’s mind was spamming  _ flock) _

Sam’s eyes widened. “No, no, no, Tommy, I don’t think that’s a good idea-”

It was too late. Tommy had already run down the hall, and Sam barely had time to sit down on his bed before the entire herd of his sons came barreling back, outraged that Sam had kept such a momentous secret from them.

“Are you nervous?” Tubbo asked, towards the back of the group.

Sam shrugged, “I mean, yeah, but-”

Fundy grinned. “It’s gonna go great, dad. You’ve got nothing to worry about, she’s going to love you.”

Sam cringed, “I, uh, I’m sure she will?”

“Yeah! That’s the spirit!” Tommy cheered. “On the other hand, can we go meet her? I promise we won’t be weird.”

“Can you promise that?” Ranboo teased. “But yeah, can we?”

Sam sighed. “I mean, I guess,”

“Do we have to put on suits?” Purpled complained, “Cause if we have to, I don’t wanna go.”

“No,” Sam said, putting his head into his hands. “You don’t have to put on a suit.”

“Hey hey hey,” Tommy said, sitting next to Sam on his bed, “Now is not the time to be sad. You are going on a date with a woman, and that is Pogchamp. Now is a time to celebrate. Let’s go, you’re going to be late, and you can’t be late if you’re going to absolutely win her over like I know you are.”

“Thank guys,” Sam said, and he meant it a little. Now he had something to worry about other than his date. “You’re right, let’s go.”

It was… an interesting walk. His boys were hyping him up, which he appreciated, but he was nervous. He had been hoping to wait a little longer to tell them. Of course they found out on one of his only dates after he’d adopted them all.

Finally, after a stroll through the woods, they arrived at the place: a lovely little clearing with fairy lights that shone and twinkled as the sun set with a table in the center set in the middle. There was food, and candles, and it was all very romantic, but the boys weren’t focused on that. They were focused on the person who was standing by the table, in a suit, rose in hand.

Purpled was the first one to speak. “Ponk?” He stepped closer and fell into a hug from the man who was, indeed, Ponk. “Is this really you?”

“Yeah, Purp. It’s me. I’m sorry you had to go through all that you did alone.” Ponk said, surprisingly softly. “I wanted to see you, but Sam told me to let you heal a bit, first.”

“Bitch.” Purpled said, but it was clear he was trying not to cry. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too. I thought you would’ve come to see me earlier.”

Purpled shook his head, refusing to leave Ponk’s hug. “How could I? We just found out you guys were a thing today, I was too scared to visit you otherwise.”

Ponk turned to Sam with an exasperated look. “Sam, I thought you said you were gonna tell them!”

“Well, I had every intention to,” Sam said defensively, “but everyone kept getting hurt and it never seemed like the right time.”

“Wait,” Tommy butted in, “How long have you guys been dating? I thought this was like, a first date type thing and that’s why he was so nervous.”

“Aw, Sam! You were nervous?”

Sam, in question, flushed a little. “I mean, how could I not be? You’re so amazing and all, I-”

“How long?” Tommy asked loudly. “You aren’t answering my questions, and they need answering! Now!”

“Well,” Ponk winced, “Sammy, you answer it. They should hear it from you.”

“What do you mean we should hear it from Sam?” Tubbo asked. “How long has this been going on?”

Purpled squinted at Ponk. “And why don’t you want to answer?”

“A little over a year and a half.” Sam blurted out, and all eyes turned to him.

“What?” Tommy cried out. “And we didn’t know? You’re our dad, you’re supposed to tell us these things!”

Sam was at a loss for words. “I didn’t know you guys cared about my love life?” He tried as a weak response.

“Of course we care,” Fundy argued. “We always care, and that’s why we came here to make sure that whoever you were dating was fit to be our other parent. We just… weren’t expecting Ponk.”

“Who were you expecting?” Ponk asked, confused. 

“Well, Tommy thought it was a girl.” Tubbo said, and Tommy tried to deny it.

“You thought-” Ponk laughed. “You thought Sam was dating a girl?”

“Sam didn’t say he wasn’t!” Tommy protested.

It was quiet a moment longer, until Ponk interrupted it, arms still around Purpled. “Wait, Sam, your  _ love _ life? You love me?”

All eyes turned to Sam as he blushed furiously and scratched at the back of his head. “Well, I mean, you’re really funny and your smile is really cute, and I really like spending time with you…”

Tommy glanced from Sam to Ponk, both blushing and looking at the ground bashfully, and groaned. “Oh, my god! We get it, you’re in love! Get a room.”

The two adults both spluttered, trying to get a response, before Tommy spoke again. “Go ahead, say ‘i love you’ and all that gross mushy stuff. Pretend we’re not even here. I swear, we’re not gonna say anything. Just go for it.”

“I mean,” Sam started, looking up at Ponk, “if you want to, of course I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, or anything...”

“I love you.” Ponk blurted out.

“I love you, too.” Sam responded breathlessly. “A lot. Like, probably too much.”

Ponk hid his face a little, and held out his hand. “I, um, I got you a rose,” 

“I saw. You’re adorable.”

It was quiet, and Ranboo coughed a little. “C’mon, guys, they probably want us to leave. It’s their date, after all.”

“Do we have to?” Purpled asked, “This is more entertaining than any movie we’ve watched, I wanna keep making them embarrassed.”

“I agree with Ranboo,” Tommy said, “We should probably go. However, I also agree with Purp, because I want to stay.”

Ponk shrugged. “I mean, I can woo Sammy here another day if you all wanna just go watch a movie, or something. Sam? You alright with that?”

Sam had to admit he'd wanted a nice night with just him and Ponk, but part of his mind was worried for Tommy, since he was still going through a thin day. “Sure, I guess we can watch a movie tonight and do something else later.”

So, they all walked back to Sam’s base, boys in front, politely pretending that they didn’t notice Sam and Ponk holding hands in the back. They didn’t want to notice it. They also pretended to not notice the little sweet whispers that the two exchanged, and the boys were starting to regret their decision to not leave the two alone.

Despite that, they all watched a movie, huddled in a nest that Tommy had made. He stretched his wings around those that he could, but ultimately was content to just huddle up against Sam and sleep, instead of watching the movie. 

Sam was curled up next to Ponk, which was a little odd considering the height difference, but they made it work. Sam wasn’t sure where the rest of his boys were in the nest.

At some point that night, once it was late and it was just him and Ponk awake, he felt Ponk shift. 

“Where are you going?” Sam asked sleepily, clutching the sweatshirt that he’d let Ponk borrow. “Why are you leaving?”

“It’s late,” Ponk whispered. “I need to get home.”

“No,” Sam pouted. “I don’t want you to go home. You should stay here for the night.”

“I appreciate it, Sammy, but I really-”

“I almost died a few days ago and you’re not going to do what I want?” Sam murmured, waking up slightly. 

“Oh, Sam,” Ponk said, sadness weighing his voice down. “Don’t joke about that. You worried me, when you didn’t talk to me for a week, then I found out from Tubbo that the hunters were back. I was so worried that I’d get there too late, and you’d be gone. Hell, before I found out, I thought you were breaking up with me.”

“I’d never do that. Don’t be sad.” Sam said tiredly, but Ponk wasn’t done.

“And then, and then I found out this morning that you’d gone against some, some fucking god, and you won, and you’d adopted Purpled, and I found out all the shit that he’d gone through and how you reacted, and I’m  _ scared _ .”

“Of what? I’ll protect you, Ponkie.”

“I’m scared that one day you’ll go up against some big bad villain and you won’t make it out alive, Sammy. You take on so much, and what if I can’t help you?”

Sam looked up, and saw that Ponk was crying softly. “Oh, Ponk. I’m always going to come back, because I have a reason to. I’ve got you to come back to, I’ve got my boys. I’ll fight with everything I’ve got to make it out alive.”

“But what if that isn't enough?” Ponk stressed. “I joke all the time, and I mess around, but I’m scared. I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t.” Sam assured him, pulling Ponk back into a hug. “Stay the night?” He asked again.

“Okay,” Ponk relented, sniffling. “But I’ve got to go home in the morning. Are you going to let me go?”

Sam smiled sleepily and pulled Ponk closer, burying his head in his shoulder. “No promises. I love you.”

“I love you too, you big sap.”

_______

Tubbo woke up last the next morning. His head hurt, like he had a headache, and his mouth was dry. He wasn’t aware that he’d woken up last, as he was still curled up in the nest and didn’t really want to do… anything. His head hurt too much.

He let out a little whine, burrowing his head into the blankets as the light hit his face.

“Tubbo? You up, man?” Who was that? That was Tommy, right?

“Tommy?” He murmured. “My head hurts.”

The voice chuckled. “Not Tommy. I’m Ranboo. I dunno, you need an advil, or something?”

“I don’t know,” Tubbo groaned. “Make it stop.”

He heard a slight humming. “Maybe I should go get Sam.”

“No,” Tubbo pouted, curling up even more. “Get Tommy. I want Tommy.”

Footsteps echoed away from him, and Tubbo moved one of his arms under his head. His fingers brushed against his ear, and-

“What?” He sat up, poking at the back of his ear, momentarily blocking out the pain of his head. “What?”

Sam walked into the room, “What d’you mean? Anything wrong? Ranboo said your head hurt, or something.”

“Sam,” Tubbo started, hands still covering his ears. “Why am I growing fur?”

A look of sudden surprise was painted across Sam’s face before it settled on a grimace. “Well, Tubbo, you’re a hybrid.”

Tubbo looked up quickly, wincing at the pounding in his head. “I’m a hybrid? How do you know?”

“When I visited Dream he mentioned it,” Sam mumbled a bit, before speaking a little louder. “Anyway, it’s probably going to hurt. I’ll send someone to go grab Tommy, since most of us were born with our hybrid features rather than growing them.”

Tubbo thought Sam spoke more, but he wasn’t listening. His head was still hurting, and the pain was still increasing. He wanted Tommy. He missed Tommy, where was he?

How had he gotten on the couch? Was he crying? Oh. His head hurt a lot. “Tommy?” He sniffled, too far gone to hate how vulnerable his voice was.

“I’m here, Tubs. I’m here.”

“What’s going on?” He managed, trying to turn to his side but yelping when the pain spiked.

“You’re probably growing something.” Tommy said nonchalantly, putting a hand into Tubbo’s hair. 

Tommy’s hands put pressure on the side of his head. “Ow,” Tubbo cried, and Tommy rushed an apology. It was quiet for a moment. “What am I growing?”

“I can’t tell yet.” Tommy hesitated. “Your ears look pretty cool, though. They’ve gotten all long and furry.”

“My ears are furry?” Tubbo didn’t quite catch Tommy’s reply as he fell asleep despite the pounding in his head.

_________

The next time Tubbo woke up, he was alone. He was still on the couch, but daylight streamed through the windows and the house was silent. Where was everyone?

His head felt much better, but his mouth was still dry, so he pried himself off of the blankets and padded into the kitchen for a glass of water. He turned the faucet on and yawned as the water poured out, reaching up to scratch his head.

His hand hit something smooth and solid, right above his ear.

Tubbo turned off the faucet as his eyebrows furrowed, walking over to the bathroom, glass still in his clutches. No one was in the halls, and he frowned as he pushed the bathroom door open. 

His gaze raised to the mirror, and the glass slipped from his fingers to shatter on the ground. He didn’t register the water that soaked through his socks, but he stared, unblinking, as his eyes filled with tears. He stumbled backwards, yelping as he fell into the tub and sobs racked his body.

“Tubbo?” Tommy’s voice called from down the hall. “I heard a crash, are you alright?” The voice got louder and Tubbo’s cries did, too. Tommy’s head popped through the door frame. “Tubbo?”

In the corner of the shower, Tubbo was huddling with his legs pressed against his chest and head ducked down. When he spoke, it came out soft and trembling. “We promised.”

“What?” Tommy started, but was cut off by Tubbo.

“We promised that you wouldn’t be the next Wilbur, and I wouldn’t be the next Schlatt.”

“Yeah?” Tommy said, tilting his head, crouching down in front of Tubbo and holding his hands out, palms up. “And we kept it. We’re fine, okay? We’re safe, and nothing is going to happen. Let’s get clean-”

“Then why have I grown horns?” Tubbo cried, tears streaming down his face. “I was finally able to move on, and now I’ve got a permanent reminder of him. He promised he wasn’t my father, Tommy, but what if he really did lie about everything?”

“Oh, Tubbo.” Tommy said softly. “Schlatt’s not your father.”

“How can you be sure?” Tubbo asked, but he moved into Tommy’s arm for a hug. His chin rested on Tommy’s shoulder.

“Because,” Tommy reasoned, “Your horns aren’t the same. His curved around his ears, right? Yours stick up a little. And your ears!” Tommy smiled, and lightly flicked one of Tubbo’s ears. “You’ve got some yellow fur growing. I’d bet good money that you’re a moobloom.”

“You bet good money for stupid reasons, though, Tommy.” Tubbo murmured, falling asleep again as Tommy’s wings wrapped around him.

Tommy went to reply, but Tubbo had fallen asleep. “You’re lucky that you’re my best friend, bitch.” He grumbled, picking up Tubbo to move him to the couch again. He’d clean up the bathroom too, but Tubbo was more important.

His best friend was more important.

_ Family _ was more important.

More important than anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I wrote ponk correctly! hmm... this is certainly interesting... looks like purpled's got a storm coming.... ;)


	13. Purple Haze Fills Your Vision (and questions fill your mind)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Purpled dreams of his past and delves too deep into something he was coded to never find.
> 
> warning: descriptions and mentions of blood, implied abuse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY LUCKY THIRTEEN HERE'S YOUR PURPLED CONTENT

_ He’d had this nightmare before- he was sure of it. The empty stares, the rising panic. It was all too familiar, but he knew what to do differently this time. He didn’t bother checking on his brothers, he knew there was nothing to be done to save them because they were dead. Karl wasn’t. _

_ Karl looked up like he always did in this recurring nightmare, with shock in his eyes. “How did you do this? You aren’t supposed to-” _

_ “I know I’m not supposed to be able to change time!” Purpled snarled. “What am I?” _

_ Karl just shook his head. “I don’t know, I don’t know, okay? You’re something different-” _

_ The scene changed. _

_ Purpled stood above a portal. There was a sense of yearning in him, reaching for a part of him that didn’t quite exist then. It reached for a part of him that was buried deep inside, and upon finding it burrowed in a place that couldn’t be uncovered yet, grasped to the next best thing, hidden deep in the chests of another dimension. He wasn’t aware of the feeling, but it pulled him to the portal that he knew caused such pain and hurt. The portal called to him, and alone, he wouldn’t have been able to resist it. _

_ The scene changed as he ripped his gaze from the portal to the eyes of another hybrid that it called to. _

_ He was in his cave, the one that he’d built so long ago, before everything. The skull on the outside called to the undead but he found himself alone inside. Just him, the darkness, and the echoes of his footsteps as he let the pitch black comfort him. If he listened, he could hear the sounds of thunder outside, and if he focused, he could see a soft glow coming from… somewhere. He wasn’t sure.  _

_ The scene changed again, this time violent, leaving him with a sick feeling in his stomach. _

_ Purpled stood in his childhood home, watching his past unfold. A littler him stood on the bottom step of a flight of stairs, clutching a large wad of purple fabric that he saw when he looked down. A sweatshirt, given to him by his brother. _

_ His brother, who stood by the door, looking at his little brother. “I’m sorry, Purp, but I’ve gotta go.” _

_ “Why?” was the response, murmured and tearful. _

_ Punz crouched down. “Hey, don’t cry. I’ll be back. It’s just a job, okay? I’ll be back before dad notices I’m gone, and then I’ll come back. You’ll be okay.” _

_ Purpled watched Punz leave through the front door, then could only watch as time sped up, as he grew up, sitting by the door that never opened. Then, all of a sudden, he saw himself get up to open it. He was holding a sword and the innocent look that had been in his eyes was gone. If he focused, he could hear angry yelling and a crash on the other side of the house that covered the creaking of the hinges.  _

_ And, just like that, he was in the Bedwars arena. _

_ He saw himself fighting, learning, watching. He saw himself search for any trace of his brother, just to throw away the paper clipping of a fast-as-a-blur mercenary that terrorized servers. He knew the clues, he knew the signs. He knew his brother. _

_ A lurching feeling twisted in his chest as he was taken to another scene.  _

_ Punz stood, a gold chain around his neck, not a speck of blood on his white sweatshirt. Purpled was staring at him, holding the tears at bay as his hands rested in his purple sweatshirt. _

_ “Purp?” _

_ “Why’d you leave?” He bit out. “What made you leave me alone with dad?” _

_ Punz sighed. “Listen, it’s not personal, I just-” _

_ “Not personal?” He yelled, “I waited everyday for you to get back, and you never did.” _

_ “The job paid well, okay? I was going to find you eventually, I swear.” _

_ “Bullshit.” Purpled spat out. “You like killing people.” _

_ Punz shook his head. “I’m not dealing with this. You’re doing well with yourself, I see the headlines for Bedwars all the time. I gotta dip before this body’s discovered, I’d make yourself scarce.” _

_ And like that, Punz took out a bottle of almost purple liquid and smashed it at his feet, hiding the body and all of himself but his eyes that seemed to glow. _

_ Not a minute later, a man in green that he’d soon be acquainted with ran by. “Hey, kid, you see uh, you see a murder?” _

_ Purpled didn’t bother trying to help his brother. Was there even anything left of him? “He went that way.” Purpled pointed, turning and missing how the masked man tilted his head in response to his broken voice. _

_ His actual self, the one that was dreaming, fell in pain, a gut-wrenching feeling making him cry out as the scene changed again around him. Each change hurt more and more, but the pieces were connecting- where were the last ones? What was the point of all of this? _

_ This time, he was in the memory. He remembered this well, entering the arena feeling confident, everyone warily watching him as he stood at his base for the starting bell. It had even started well, he was winning, until his foot got caught and twisted. _

_ He fell down, gasping as he tried to get back to his bed. He could void and respawn, it’d be fine, he liked the feeling of the wind rustling through his hair as he fell.  _

_ The message pinged that his bed had been destroyed. _

_ His best bet now was to hide until everyone else had fought, but he didn’t make it far with his ankle stinging with every movement.  _

_ He was stabbed in the back, literally, but it wasn’t a normal blade like all of his other losses. Something was different about this one- the wound hurt more, and he wasn’t respawning in the lobby. He coughed, and vaguely heard voices speaking. _

_ “It was a fire aspect sword, do we know if he’s a hybrid? He didn’t have anything listed, but that could be why he’s not healing.” _

_ “Even if he was, we have no clue which type. I was told he was a hybrid, but the person who sent me wouldn’t say-” _

_ He passed out, but when he woke up, the memory was the same. He was in a medical bed, alone. Someone walked into the room, face covered by a red, multi-colored checkered mask.  _

_ “Hello!” He said cheerily. “We’ll be getting out of here soon, and I’ve got a place that you can hang-” _

_ “Who are you?” Purpled asked, “And why are you here? I don’t need a place to stay, thanks.” _

_ “Oh, true.” The man mused. “They did send me to recruit all of the minors, I should probably be a little-” _

_ “Recruit? I’m not interested in a gang, thanks.” _

_ “Oh, no, it’s not a gang. Why don’t we start over? I’m Ponk. There’s a new server and we’d like you to be a part of it.” _

_ Purpled looked at Ponk. He had nothing to lose, maybe this would be the escape from his past that he needed. “What the hell, why not.” _

_ Purpled didn’t need the scene change to know how this ended up. He knew that Ponk was the brother to him that Punz never was. He knew that Ponk had been there when his own blood wasn’t, and he had readily accepted the person that he hoped would always be there. But, Ponk knew how skittish Purpled was, and didn’t search for him when he’d disappeared. Ponk thought it was a choice that he’d made. _

_ The puzzle was almost done, in Purpled’s mind. There were two empty spots, though. A sharp sting in his chest like a wound brought him to his knees, and a voice in his mind seemed to ask if he really wanted to uncover what was coming. Seemed to ask if he really wanted what this digging would bring. _

_ “Yes,” he whispered. “I want to see.” _

_ It hurt, so bad, but maybe not as much as being forced to rewatch the scene in front of him. _

_ Punz stood in front of him, like the day he’d left. This time though, Purpled wasn’t alone.  _

_ “What are you doing here?” Purpled asked. “Why are you here?” _

_ Punz scoffed. “I’ve been here for a while. Why? Can’t handle me around?” _

_ Ponk stepped forward. “Leave him alone.” _

_ “I already have!” Punz yelled. “And it keeps getting worse anyway.” _

_ Purpled couldn’t help but take a step backwards. “What?” _

_ Punz let out a sigh. “Listen, Purpled. You don’t understand what’s going on. There’s a lot that you aren’t aware of-” _

_ “Then help me to understand!” _

_ “We’re always going to be different, Purp.” Punz said coldly, but there was a hint of regret and loss in his voice. “You’ll realize it later, but you’re never going to have a normal life, because there’s a reason we never knew our mother. I had no choice but to make my own path and let you pave yours.” He left after that, leaving nothing but confusion in his wake. _

_ “Ponk? What did he mean?” _

_ But Ponk didn’t have an answer. No one did. Not even Dream, but that might have been because he was already too far gone when Purpled got the courage to approach him. _

_ The pain started up again, this time a burning on his back that made him stagger at the sudden intensity of it. As he felt himself wake up, he was relieved, but he heard the echoes of a voice that wasn’t quite Dream’s that lingered, the person that he was speaking to not visible. _

_ “I’ve never seen their kind before. It sure is a shame you want to hide it from Purpled, but I get it. If you ban the mob, you gotta ban the hybrid. I have a feeling this is going to bite you later, though. He’s a strong one. He’ll find out eventually.” The voice laughed. “I’m excited to see how this turns out, and I haven't been excited in a while.” _

_ ________________ _

  
  


Purpled lurched awake. He had hoped the pain that he’d felt would fade, but if anything, it’d increased. He clenched his teeth and rolled over onto his stomach.

“Another nightmare?” Sam asked, and Purpled jerked his head up and down in the only response that he could manage. “Purp? You okay?”

“No,” He said, feeling the tears begin to roll down his cheeks. “It all hurts.”

“What, you mean the nightmare was bad? You wanna talk about it?” There went Sam with his father-like worriness.

“No-” He choked. “My body. Hurts.”

Sam frowned. “Oh. I was hoping this would come up a little further down the line, but I guess you really don’t have control over when your hybrid part comes out.”

“My what?” 

“You’re a hybrid.” Sam sighed, moving slowly at first to move Purpled into his lap. “I wish Tommy’d stayed behind today- he’s the one with real experience with growing things.”

“Tubbo-” Purpled started, before getting cut off by a painful gasp.

Sam put a hand in his hair to try to comfort him. “He’s just got horns. You’re growing something… much bigger, I’d say. Of course, I’m not the expert.”

“It hurts like a bitch.” Purpled whimpered, clinging to Sam.

He didn’t hear the stressed laugh that Sam let out because he started to drift back to sleep, but it would be a slumber filled with pain and restless tossing. He wasn’t all the way asleep, but stuck in a hazy in-between that left his mind numb.

In one moment when he was slightly more awake, he could register someone mopping the sweat off of his forehead. “Ponk?” He slurred, because he couldn’t remember where he was. “Ponk, issat you?”

“No,” The voice said. “But he’s on his way. He heard your name and was already packing his bags.”

_ Oh, yeah. _ His brain managed. _ Sam and Ponk are dating. _

“No hinky business,” Purpled said, raising a finger that trembled in the air. “This is about me, not you guys.”

“Good to know. Go back to sleep.”

He did. He couldn’t tell how much time was going by, but the pain made him gasp and shudder, so he was woken up periodically. He always fell asleep again from exhaustion or just passed out from pain though, so he wasn’t awake for long. During his snippets of consciousness, he got some words out. They didn’t all make sense, at least not to the people helping him.

“Punz?” Purpled mumbled, reaching out. “Where are you?”

Sam looked over to Ponk, who had arrived a while ago. “Why’s he asking for Punz? I don’t think I’ve ever seen them together.”

“Bad blood.” Ponk shrugged, taking one of Purpled hands. They were on the floor now, since Purpled’s squirming made having him on the couch difficult. “They’re brothers, but all I know is that Punz left home at some point and never came back. I think they were close before it, though. He never talked about it much. I think it hurts him to.”

“They’re brothers?” Sam whispered, then his eyes widened. “Is that why he wasn’t there to say goodbye to Tubbo and Tommy before they went to find Dream? Because he didn’t want to see Punz? Is their relationship that bad?”

Ponk shrugged again. “He never talked to me about it. I think he latched to me, instead, but I would like to see them make up. I just don’t know if it’s possible.”

“Punz?” Purpled’s eyes were glazed over. “I want Punz.”

“No you don’t,” Pink sighed. “You mentioned-”

“I want Punz,” Purpled sobbed. “It hurts so much.”

“Wait-” Sam said, “Are they biological brothers?”

“As far as I know. Does that make a difference?”

“He might know what kind of hybrid they are. It’d make this easier. And, y’know, I’ll ask if he can swing around to say hi. Maybe they’re both hurt but don’t want to admit it.”

Ponk smiled at Sam. “Look at you, you’re such a  _ sweetheart _ . Helping your sons repair their relationships. DILF material, if you ask me.” He joked.

Sam only darted out of the room with a bright blush dusting his face.

________

Punz had been having an okay day. It was bright outside, so he’d stayed indoors. Sure, it was lonely, but he managed. He’d just barely let his thoughts slip to better times when his communicator rang. Someone was calling him. Who even still remembered he existed? He’d thought it’d been long enough all on his lonesome to be forgotten. Even by his brother, maybe.

_ No _ , he sighed.  _ I lost the privilege of calling him my brother years ago. He hates you. _

He picked up the call. “Hello?”

“Hey, Punz!” It was Awesamdude. What did he want? “I was just wondering-”

“I’m not taking jobs anymore,” Punz said, rolling his eyes. “Thanks for calling.”

“Wait! I just wanted to ask you some questions about you and Purpled, since you’re his brother.”

Punz froze. “Who told you that we were brothers?”

“Ponk did, but that’s not important. Purpled’s-”

“Is he okay?” Punz asked, ignoring how his heart rose into his throat. He didn’t know what would happen if Purpled wasn’t.

“ _ Listen _ , it’s, he’ll be okay, but-”

Punz squinted into nothing. “I’ll be right there. Drop the coords.”

He hung up before Sam could say he’d lost the right to see Purpled, like he probably would have. He needed to make sure that Purpled was okay, even if it caused a respawn back to his house. Whatever happened would be deserved, anyway.

It wouldn’t take him long to get there, he was naturally fast, so he wasn’t concerned with time. He flipped up the hood of his sweatshirt to shield his face from the unyielding sun and sighed. He’d have to face his past eventually, why not now?

____________

The next time Purpled woke up, the pain had doubled. He could feel the stabbing sensation whenever he moved at all, but this time, there was a comforting weight keeping him off of the floor.

He already knew who it was. He’d been sick before, and there was only one person who did this. “Punz?” God, his voice sounded so broken. So weak. Vulnerable. Everything he’d trained himself to never show.

“Yeah, Purp. I’m here.”

“You can’t be.” Purpled murmured, still not completely sure he was awake. “You hate me.”

“No,” Came the hushed response. “God, no. I could never hate you.”

Purpled scrunched up his face. “But you left.”

“I wanted a better future for us.” It seemed like that was it, but then more words tumbled. “It was only supposed to be short jobs so that I could go back to you until I had enough to buy our way onto a server that’d take us.” The voice cracked, filled with emotion, “You didn’t deserve to be alone with dad. You didn’t deserve any of the bad things that’ve happened to you. Sam told me about the underground arena- God, Purpled. I’m a horrible brother. I was stressed, and needed more money, and then I had admins on my tail that I couldn’t lead to you… I’m an awful person.”

“A bitch, yeah,” Purpled sighed, sinking closer to sleep, or at least what he thought was sleep. The pain made it hard to tell. “But not a bad person. You tried your best.”

“It wasn’t enough.” Punz sniffled. “And now you’re here, and I never even bothered to mention to you before that we were hybrids. I just… I got so little features I figured you would, too.”

“You did tell me I was a hybrid, but not directly. When we first met here, remember?”

It was quiet as Punz pondered on it. “How do you remember that?”

“I’ve had lots of time to think.” Purpled mused, before hissing as another wave of pain rolled over him. “I’ve been alone a lot.”

“Me too.” Punz shifted uneasily. “I don’t like being alone.”

“Me either. It sucks.” Purpled said, and he almost continued before the pain came back worse than ever. “Punz? What’s happening? Why’s it hurt so much?”

“You’re growing wings, Purp.”

_____________

The actual emergence of the wings wasn’t as painful as Purpled had thought it would be. It hurt, yeah, but it was over pretty quickly, unlike before when they were stretching through his skin. He could tell there was a lot of blood, too, but not by looking. He made sure not to look. He could feel the warmness of the liquid as it spilled down his back, and he tried his hardest to stay awake, but the appeal of sleep pulled him back in.

He was woken up by Tommy’s voice. “Woah, those’re fuckin’ sick!”

Nothing could have convinced him to lift his head up. He was too tired. He’d just slept ages, he thought, but it wasn’t enough. “What?” He mumbled. “You’re too loud.” Purpled managed to turn his head a little, though, so as to look at who was speaking to him.

Tommy pulled a face. “Ugh, you  _ look _ sick. And not in a good way. Your wings look epic, though.”

______________

Purpled didn’t find out what Tommy had meant until the afternoon, when the three men who’d been looking after him said he could get up. He went to the bathroom to look in the mirror, because he reasoned that it wasn’t fair that everyone got to see them and not him. They were  _ his  _ wings, for crying out loud.

“ _ Fuck _ ,” He muttered. “They do look sick.”

The wings were a weird material that he couldn’t quite place. They looked almost like a bat’s, structure wise, but the actual material looked more delicate. More fragile. It was cool to the touch, and soft, but not feathery. 

He moved them as much as he could in the relatively small bathroom, and peered at his reflection.

His face was a little more sunken than usual. Not  _ so _ noticeably, but if you looked close enough, you could see hints of purple bags under his eyes. Was his skin a little more grey than it had been? He leaned in towards the glass to look again. 

What was wrong with his eyes? They didn’t look super different, but- he turned off the lights and stayed in the dark for a moment, then turned them back on. Yup. His eyes were glowing. He had wings, he looked like he constantly had one foot in the grave, and his eyes glowed. What was he?

He meandered back out to where everyone was waiting in the living room. “Well?” He asked, spinning around and looking at Punz.

“Well, what?”

“What are we? My eyes are all glowy, and they weren’t yesterday, so clearly something’s up.”

Punz laughed uneasily. “I am… not sure. I’m pretty sure it’s a mob that Dream banned when he made the server. This is the only server I’ve been on, though, so don’t quote me on that. I guess I just never bothered to find out.”

Tommy looked up from the other side of the room, where he sat with Fundy, who was preening his wings. “As reluctant as I am to say it, Phil might know. He’s got his hardcore worlds that he used to always escape to. Sometimes still does.”

“So all the families are getting past issues, huh?” Purpled mused, wandering into the kitchen because fuck, he was hungry.

Tommy squawked. Almost literally. “We don’t have issues, we just… aren’t on the best of terms.”

Purpled laughed. “Yeah, your family hasn’t got  _ any _ trauma. Shall we expect a christmas card this year?” His laughing turned into a screech as he saw a cat on the counter. “Get that thing out of here!”

Ranboo popped his head in. “What, the cat? I just brought her in. She was hungry. You’re usually fine with the strays I bring in.”

He frantically shook his head as he sped back to the living room to huddle next to Pu- his brother. “Not today. Not cats.”

“So, that’s another trait that you got and I didn’t.” Punz grinned. “I’m fine with cats.”

“Dogs are so much better though,” Purpled argued. “What’s odd about you, then?”

Punz considered that for a moment. “Well, if I’m in the sun too much I get a headache. My eyes glow, too, and I’m real fast.”

“Like the flash?” Tommy asked, and Punz shrugged.

“Oh, I remember that your eyes still show when you splash an invis pot.” Purpled mentioned, mind going back to the memory- dream- flashback? thing he’d had before his wings started growing in. 

“Aw, wait,” Tommy complained. “Your wings can’t be preened. They just sit there looking badass and mine need all this care.”

“At least you don’t look like you need a week of sleep all the time,” Purpled shot back, and it was silent after that. 

No one expected anything to happen, no one expected the night would linger as Purpled gazed out of the window and into the stars as the twinkled their approval. Certainly, then, no one expected a harsh banging at the door as they got ready for bed.

Sam got up slowly, holding his sword loosely as he walked towards the door. The knocking got more desperate, so he turned the handle.

No one expected Technoblade to be the one outside.

“Techno?” Sam asked, gripping his sword a little more.

“Please,” Techno panted, “You have to help him. We were too far from our home, this was the closest place,  _ please _ ,”

It was then that Sam noticed Phil, leaning on Techno. It was then that Sam looked closer and realized that Techno hadn’t gotten a new red cloak. His old one was just soaked with Phil’s blood.

“Geez,” Sam hissed, stepping aside to let Techno in. He wasn’t cruel enough to deny the men a place to stay, but there was a small corner of his mind that spoke of everything that could go wrong. “Come on in, I’ll… Well, I’ll do my best.”

Sam had to help hold Phil up, because he could tell that Techno was near ready to collapse. In fact, he did, as soon as the weight of his oldest friend had been removed from his shoulders.

He had no choice but to leave Techno on the ground as he turned his attention to Phil, whose chest rose so slightly after each breath that he feared Techno was too late.

It was a long night, with no sleep, but those sorts of nights were no stranger to Sam. He hadn’t slept the previous night, either. It was probably an issue, but he kept dreaming of his past and his mistakes, so it was better to stay awake.

Had he slept the night before that? Sam wasn’t sure.

The night was still dark as Sam hovered over his patient. He had been able to stop a bit ago, but he still bit his lip. If Phil died in his care, Techno would kill him. Maybe his boys, too. That was something he needed to avoid at all cost.

Sam was about to tackle the massive feat of getting Techno into a bed of his own when there was a soft knock on the door. When he opened it, he looked down to see Purpled.

“You should be asleep,” He scolded softly. “You had a big day today.”

Purpled glared at him and leaned against his side. “I can’t. You’re up.”

“You don’t have to wait for me,” Sam smiled, “Go to bed.”

“No,” Purpled mumbled. “I  _ can’t _ . I can’t fall asleep while you’re awake. I don’t know why, but I can tell you’re awake and I can’t fall asleep.”

Sam frowned. “It might be a hybrid thing. Phil’s here, so he can answer once he’s awake. I’ll be up for a while longer, but if you want to help, you can.”

And that, my friends, is how a seven foot tall creeper and a six foot tall winged guy tried to lift a large piglin hybrid off of the floor as if their limbs weren’t like sticks. It was comical, but the only one who could have witnessed it had been bleeding out a few hours ago.

Purpled managed to get Sam asleep in one of the other beds before curling up next to him. He didn’t know why he couldn’t fall asleep while others were up, but he knew it’d be tough. They all struggled with nightmares, even him, so he figured that many nights would be spent restless.

The next morning, Techno was the one that woke Sam and Purpled up. 

“Hello?” Sam asked groggily, rubbing his eyes.

“Hi,” Techno responded. “Is Phil gonna be okay?”

For a second, Sam had forgotten the two new guests in his house. “Oh,” he mumbled, and let his head fall back onto the pillow. “Yeah, he’ll be fine. Are you alright, though?”

Techno scoffed. “Of course I’m alright.”

“Are you sure?” Sam asked again, raising an eyebrow. “You collapsed on the floor as soon as Phil-”

“Okay, fine.” He relented. “I haven’t been great recently.”

“...Why?” Purpled asked, looking at Techno the way a little kid might look at Santa. Sam realized, Purpled played Bedwars, he’d probably grown up on stories of the piglin hybrid. This was probably exciting, even if his opinion on Techno had been clouded by Tommy and Ranboo.

“Been feeling a little guilty, is all. It’s nothing.” Techno said, but Sam could see the sorrow in his eyes.

“Guilty about what?”

“Everything,” Techno answered simply. “What is there to not be guilty about?”

Purpled squinted at him. “You know, if you apologized, I’m sure they’d accept it. They miss you, even if they don’t want to admit it.”

“You don’t get it,” Techno sighed, sitting back down on the bed he had slept in. “I need to keep my distance.”

“Why?” Sam interrupted, getting up to check on Phil and the rest of his boys.

“Because I meant what I said back then. I meant it all, and there’s no way to apologise for something I never felt sorry for.”

“But you do now, don’t you?” Purpled asked, staring. He could tell that his eyes were a little unnerving, but he let them stay that way. “Right?”

“Of course I do. Phil and I spent days talking about what we did, why it was wrong, and eventually, it just kind of… it just hit us, I guess, how many lives we’d ruined.” Techno looked at Phil. “He’s lived so long, he doesn’t register it anymore, and the voices don’t care enough to stop me. It’s so easy to lose control, but I don’t want to, anymore.” Techno put his face into his hands as if to hide how vulnerable he was being to someone much younger than himself. “I just want the family we used to be.”

“You’re never going to get there.” Purpled said, and it hurt him to, but it was the truth. “You can’t just escape the past, but you can make a better future.”

“And what would you have me do?” Techno shook his head. “I’m pretty sure you can’t help me, kid.”

  
“I can, if you’d listen to me. I think you should apologise to Tommy and Ranboo. They’re hurt, and the first step to repairing your relationship is to acknowledge what you did. Then, I don’t know, maybe you could move closer, if it goes well.”

Techno’s voice was muffled. “And what if it doesn’t?”

“Then you live with the consequences of your actions,” Purpled shrugged, “but they get closure and you know that there was nothing else you could do.”

Sam had left a while ago, leaving the pair to their silence. Punz came in a bit later to find Purpled, and paused when he saw Techno.

“Relax,” Techno grumbled. “He’s actually been pretty helpful. I’m not gonna hurt him.”

“You better not,” Punz snapped, but stopped when Purpled gave him a look.

Purpled mentioned the ‘knowing when people are awake’ bit to Punz, who hummed, and sat down. The younger of the two brothers was deep in his thought, before something struck him. “Hey, Technoblade, do you have something in your inventory that you’re hiding?”

Punz frowned. “Hey, you’re right. I feel a little… pull, almost.”

“I’ve got something,” Techno said warily, “but Ranboo wasn’t a fan of it last time, so I took it off before I got here.” He took out a bundle of silky material that almost resembled the wings that sat on Purpled’s back under his sweatshirt.

“What is it?” He asked, leaning forward a little to look at it.

“Elytra.” Came another voice. Phil’s eyes were still heavy with sleep, but he tried to sit up.

“Take it easy, Phil. You’re still recovering.”

Phil chuckled. “It takes more than that to kill me, Techno, I’m fine. Anyway, those are Elytra. You guys are hybrids, aren’t you?”

“How do you know?” Purpled wondered, and he didn’t have to wait long for an answer. 

“You hold yourself differently, like I do.” Phil said simply, pointing over his shoulder with a thumb. “Wings are heavy, and affect posture even when you’ve gotten used to them.” After a moment, he shrugged. “Well? Are we going to see them? I assume you don’t know what you are if you’re part of a mob that has something to do with elytra.”

Purpled took off his sweatshirt, revealing another purple shirt that had a hole cut in the back. His wings unfurled, and he relaxed as they stretched.

“Hm,” Phil mumbled. “And do you have any other characteristics?”

Between the two brothers, they had quite a list, and by the end of it, Phil was just nodding along. 

“So?” Punz asked. “What are we?”

Phil looked into Purpled’s eyes, which were glowing slightly more, surrounded by dark circles and a hopeless look. He knew that the younger man had been through more than he deserved, and if this was the start of being better, than he’d take it. 

“Well, as I see it, the wings leave two options, but the list leaves only one possibility. The simplest reason that I can explain is that Elytra are made of, or at least repaired by, a material called phantom membrane, which you get from-”

“Phantoms.” Purpled breathed, and suddenly, everything clicked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen guys I have so many headcanons about hybrid!purpled that I didn't mention in this chapter despite it being more than 5000 words. happy purpled content, did you guess it before it was said? What did you think it was before it was confirmed but you had the information?


	14. Forgiveness is Not So Easy (the void will protect those shunned)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil and Techno are at the house. Ranboo isn't sure he likes it, but he's got his family to support him. 
> 
> (Death is mad at Phil. He doesn't know it. Once she's done with something, she'll chew him out.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey people from the big bang discord :P
> 
> hey my womderful readers :) 
> 
> not me stealing a concept from one of my other fics for this one lmao

Ranboo wished he was stronger. He wished he could put the past behind him and move on, but something held him back. Something looked him in the eyes and told him that he could not grow without closure, but even closure was too much to bear. 

When he had looked over to the door and saw not only Technoblade but also Philza, leaning and eyes glassy, his first feeling was terror. It was an act- they had come here to kill him- 

But his second thought was maybe they were here to kill Tommy. Or Sam. Or any of the family that had actually cared about him when he was at his lowest. Maybe Tubbo, Fundy, Purpled, maybe they wanted a way to Puffy. Because they hadn’t ever cared about him, so why would they now? Why would they have hunted him down? No, the world and the ones he used to live with both united in that they had left him behind, so it wasn’t Ranboo who was in trouble, it was his family. 

When Sam had ushered Technoblade and Philza into the medical room, Ranboo let out a deep breath. “C’mon guys. Let’s go to our room.”

Tommy had taken one look at his wide eyes and agreed, as if he hadn’t just seen his father bleeding out over the man who’d once told him to die like a hero. “Yeah, let’s give them some space.”

They all ended up asleep, though he was sure that someone had gotten up, but Ranboo’s dreams were not kind. Had they ever been? Had he ever known compassion from something as simple as his own mind? 

His dreams were plagued with heartache and pain, as his life had been, and though he was no stranger to it, he did not want it. He never wanted it, but no one ever cared about his opinions before he found this family.

Ranboo woke up gasping. He had already forgotten what the nightmares were about, but the adrenaline still pumped through his veins as he tried to calm down.

“You got ‘em, too?” Tommy whispered, from somewhere among the mass of blankets. 

Ranboo swallowed. “Yeah.” His voice sounded hoarse. At least he hadn’t been crying. Had he? “Just memories. I think.”

Tommy shifted in the covers. “I know that you don’t like them. I have issues too, but… is it so much to hope that they feel sorry? I just want.. I know it’s selfish but I want them back. I have this family, but losing them… losing them still hurts.”

“I can understand that.” Ranboo said. “I think it all depends on what they do now, since we’re close together and can’t really avoid each other. It depends on how they act.”

Tommy hummed. “I hope they feel sorry.”

“If they don’t feel sorry now, after all they’ve done,” Ranboo whispered, “then they never will.”

“Yeah.” Tommy said, but he didn’t elaborate. They stayed in silence until weak beams of light began to shine through their window, and then even longer, until there was a soft knocking on the door.

It opened, and Sam stood there. “Ranboo? Tommy? Are you awake?” 

“We sure are, big man.” Tommy said, and though his eyes were tired, his wings twitched. “What do you need?”

Sam hesitated. “Uh, Phil’s awake. He and Techno want to talk with you guys. You don’t have to, of course…”

Tommy’s wings drooped a little. “I guess. Will you be there?”

“If you want me to.” Sam said softly. “Or if you need space, I’ll just be outside the door.”

Ranboo thought about all that had happened. “You might… you might want to be further than that. If they want to apologise, and they mention what they’ve done… I’m not sure they’d get out of here alive.”

Sam huffed. “I’m well aware that they haven’t been great people, but if they want to apologise, then I’ll let them. You deserve to hear their apology.”

“Thanks, dad.” Tommy smiled lightly. “Do they want to talk now?”

“Whenever you’re ready,” Sam nodded, but Ranboo knew that he couldn’t keep them waiting. Not when Technoblade already had a short temper.

Ranboo clambered over the slumbering bodies of his family to get to the door. “Where’s Purpled? And Punz?”

“They chatted with Phil about what they were. I left a while ago, but Punz came up to me and said they wanted to talk to you guys. Purpled’s trying to sleep on the couch now.”

Ranboo wondered what their hybrid parts were, but he knew he’d find out eventually. “Alright.”

On the way to the medical room, they did pass Purpled on the couch, wings draped awkwardly over the edges. It didn’t look comfortable, and he grunted in acknowledgement as they went by. They got to the door to the room, and Sam put a hand on their shoulders. 

“If you need something, anything, let me know, okay?”

Ranboo nodded, and Tommy opened the door.

Phil and Techno were on one of the beds, looking like they didn’t belong there. Ranboo thought for a moment that they really didn’t, they’d distanced themselves from family and in doing so they had forever condemned the possibility that they could fit. It was what they deserved, but Ranboo felt sorry.

“Hey Tommy, Ranboo,” Phil said slowly. “How, uh, how’ve you been?”

Tommy scoffed as he went to sit down on a bed. “Been doing alright, considering all of my trauma.”

Ranboo cracked a smile, but it fell when Techno started talking.

“Can’t have been too bad if you’re friends with Tubbo again, given that he exiled you.”

Tommy’s eyes were set alight. “Tubbo was never part of the problem. Dream was.”

“How?” Techno asked, and Ranboo thought he almost seemed genuine. “From my point of view Dream doesn’t have anything to do with what happened. Help me understand, Tommy.”

Ranboo spoke instead. “Dream’s manipulative. He didn’t like that Tommy stood up to him, so he needed Tommy gone. But gone would get rid of the fun of this server- so exilling him and getting him submissive was the best option. Setting George’s house on fire was never as bad as he made it seem, Dream just needed a reason to exile him. That’s why he never cared that I was part of it, too.”

Phil looked surprised. “You were part of it?”

“Yeah. My first day, and I was committing arson.” He scoffed. “Not that you care.”

“We can get to that later,” Techno said. “What happened in exile, Tommy? Why were you under my house?”

Tommy’s wings fell until they settled on the bed. “Dream’s manipulative. What more do you need? What haven’t you figured out, considering that you’re able to analyze everything I do?”

“I need to hear it from you,” Techno said. “Because otherwise, I can’t be sure.”

Tommy sighed. “It started out alright, other than the fact that he blew up all my stuff and made me start from scratch. Then he did it every day, he told me to put my armor in a hole, and if I didn’t, he threatened to put me in it. He said he was my friend, he said Tubbo hated me, and ghostbur disappeared. I made a party, and Dream sent out the invites, but no one came. Only Dream, and then I started believing that he was my friend.”

“But what made you run away?” Phil asked.

“I’m getting there.” Tommy snapped. “He kept getting into my mind, making me believe that I had no one but him. I really thought he cared about me, despite all that he did to me.”

“What’d he do?” Phil interrupted again.

Tommy hesitated, so Ranboo spoke up instead. “Abused him. Why do you think he flinches? Or did you not care enough to find out?”

“I said we’d speak about that later,” Techno growled. “One thing at a time.”

Tommy barged back into the conversation. “I think it would have continued, but Dream found the room where I kept all the important things I didn’t want blown up. He blew up the entire room, then everything that I had built while in exile. He said that I deserved it, because I had disobeyed. I said sorry, but he said it wasn’t enough. He said that I needed to be punished, and I believed him, but I was so sick of it all, I was sick of exile, I was sick of life. So I took whatever building supplies remained from everything I’d worked so hard on, and I built into the sky. I didn’t reach as far as I’d wanted, but it would have been enough. I could almost touch the clouds. Then…” He trailed off.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Ranboo whispered, and Tommy just curled into his side. 

“I’ll be fine. I was on that… the fucking pillar, looking down at the ground, when I realized what Dream had been doing. I’d almost let him win. I couldn’t let him win, so even though I knew my eyes were grey and I woke up every night submerged in the water, I jumped. I landed in a little lake, and ran. I ran to the snow, because I knew it would cover any footprints I made. I found your house, and I meant to just take some supplies, but it was so warm, and some part of me still hoped you’d care about me. So I burrowed under your house and tried to sleep.”

Techno made a small sound. “And you grew your wings?”

“Yeah,” Tommy sighed. “It was hell.”

“I’ll bet.” Phil huffed. “Why didn’t you have Techno call me?”

“Because I thought he wanted to put an axe through my skull.” Tommy snapped. “And I wasn’t exactly proven wrong, was I? What made you think it was a good idea to decimate my home?”

“I was angry.” Techno grumbled. 

“That’s not a healthy way to take out your anger,” Ranboo argued. “And don’t you dare blame it on your voices. I know you could’ve ignored them. I know you have before.”

“They were a government,” Techo began, and Tommy groaned.

“He was sixteen!” Tommy exploded. “You expect a sixteen year old to run a country? He was stressed, and grieving, and you certainly didn’t help! The problem isn’t Tubbo, it’s that you expected him to be an adult when he never got to grow up. The problem isn’t a government, it’s that you wanted to be the most powerful thing on the server. You wanted an equal playing field, and for you, that means you control what everyone does. You weren’t some savior, you were just some overpowered guy with anger issues who wanted to destroy everything.”

Techno didn’t have a response. Ranboo figured there wasn’t really any way to respond to that.

“I guess,” Techno started after a tense silence, “you may have a point.”

Ranboo snorted, and Techno shot him a look that probably was supposed to be playful, but he couldn’t help but flinch.

Phil sighed. “And we heard what went down with Dream’s lair. Do you want to tell us about your, uh, your issues?”

Ranboo cracked a smile as Tommy draped a wing across his shoulder. “The main cause of my problems begins with D and ends in ream, pretty much. I heard his, well it wasn’t him, but it sounded like him, his voice, in my head, sometimes. Telling me I did things that I didn’t, or maybe I did. I can’t remember. It stopped when I went to the End, or sometime after. I don’t know why.”

“And why’d you go to the End?” Phil asked.

He breathed deeply. “I overheard you guys talking about your, your syndicate, or whatever you called it.”

“Oh.” Techno said, like he knew where this was going.

“I don’t even remember why I was there, but I heard Technoblade, who’s notorious for hating people using him as just a weapon, speaking about how he could send me to be their assassin to relieve them of the blame. How he could take advantage of my forgetfulness, and then I thought, surely Philza of all people would shoot that idea down, but I had to stand there and listen to Philza agree with Techno.”

Phil wouldn’t meet his eyes.

Ranboo kept going. “So I figured, this can’t get much worse, but then, and here’s the best part of it, I listened to Technoblade say that he hoped that I didn’t mistake our relationship for a personal one, because it was purely business. How was that supposed to make me feel?”

Techno wouldn’t meet his eyes either.

So, he kept going. “So I packed up my stuff, and I prepared to leave. But then, Phil noticed I was leaving. He didn’t bother to notice that I was being suspicious, almost as if he wanted me gone. The rest is history, the Enderman of the End don’t like me all that much.”

Tommy looked over at the people who used to be his family. “So? Your turn. Are you going to try to justify your actions?”

“No,” Phil said, and Ranboo noticed he almost seemed mortified. “No. Admittedly, we might have meant everything then, but after we tried to talk to Tommy last, we spoke about everything. We tried to figure out why you were angry at us, and we realized, well, we had this huge realization that, well, we’d fucked up.”

“You think?” Techno laughed. “We, amidst our thinking, might have noticed that we are, quite possibly,”

“Massive jerks?” Ranboo asked.

“A pair of bitches?” Tommy offered.

Phil and Techno both laughed a bit. Ranboo tried to not be scared.

After a while, Phil quieted. “I just… you guys are allowed to feel mad. You can be angry. But… I want you to know that we’re sorry. We’ve noticed that we’ve done wrong, we want to make it better, but it’s your choice. If you never want to see us again, we understand, but… we want a chance to fix our relationships.”

“From a business standpoint?” Ranboo asked, and Techno winced.

“I deserved that.” He admitted.

Tommy thought for a moment. “Well, as much as I would like to never have to see Techno’s ugly face or Phil’s old-ass one again, you seem at least half genuine. I guess I could give you a chance, but it’s not me that should be the deciding factor. Sure, you hurt me, but I’ve got a shit-ton of other things to get over before I even start to address it. Ranboo’s the man you should speak to about forgiveness.”

Ranboo didn’t like all the eyes on him, but he knew it was necessary. “I…” His voice cracked. “I don’t know. Me leaving led to a bunch of other trauma, and I… I just don’t know if,”

Phil smiled gently. “That’s okay. We can leave, or we can stay, or if you want to take it slow we can visit later…”

“No,” Ranboo shook his head. “You’re hurt. I’m not gonna kick you out. Just… I might not come see you for a while.”

“That’s okay,” Techno said. “Are you okay if I walk around?”

“If you take off your weapons.” Ranboo said, after a pause. “I can’t really expect you to stay cooped up here.”

“I’d do it if you asked me to.”

Ranboo tried not to immediately latch onto the fondness in Techno’s voice. He grew attached to people easily. He knew that. He’d just have to hug Sam or something after this.

“No, it’s fine.”

So that’s how Ranboo ended up in his room, alone. He still didn’t trust Techno, but he knew Tommy had missed them. He knew that Purpled and Punz needed their help. So, he’d tolerate it.

The door opened and he burrowed out from under the blankets just enough to see who was intruding on his brooding.

“Awww,” Tubbo cooed. “I know you’re probably sad but you look really cute in your little blanket cocoon.”

Ranboo rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help but feel a little happier. “Whatever you say, Tubbo Underscore.”

“Can I get you anything?” Tubbo asked, softer. “I know this is rough for you.”

“What about you?” Ranboo asked. “Doesn’t the festival still scare you?”

Tubbo shrugged. “I dunno. I have nightmares about it sometimes, but it’s in the past. We’re even, too. I didn’t kill him, though.”

“It doesn’t change that he still did that to you,” Ranboo argued as Tubbo sat down. “How do you forgive him?”

“I don’t want to live with the feeling that not forgiving someone brings,” Tubbo admitted. “It might be a weak reason, but I want to move on. I don’t want to think badly of anyone. I will, if I need to, but Techno is trying to be better, I think. I don’t really know, he’s a hard person to read, but I tend to give people as many chances as they want, so I dunno.”

Ranboo grinned. “That’s a lot of ‘I don’t know’s Tubbo.”

Tubbo scoffed. “And you’re here listening, so…”

Tubbo stayed a little longer, until dinner. 

Dinner was a tense affair. There were a lot of failed jokes, a lot of winces, a lot of silence. They were healing though, slowly. Ranboo knew it’d be a while, but he knew that Tommy had talked with them while he had hidden, so maybe they’d be okay. They talked about moving closer, since living in the arctic was a little unnecessary, and Ranboo was conflicted on it. He faked nonchalance, but he doubted anyone other than Phil and Techno believed him.

He doesn’t sleep that night.

He expected to just stay up, but around what he predicted was… midnight, Purpled turned over and groaned. 

“Are you going to fall asleep or should we just watch a movie?”

Ranboo froze. “What?”

“Oh.” Purpled realized. “You weren’t there when I told everyone. I’m part Phantom.”

“I’m gonna act like I know what a Phantom is.” Ranboo chucked, feeling how the exhaustion was creeping over his body.

Purpled laughed. “True. Want me to tell you, or do you think that you’ll be up for a long time and wanna do something else?”

“Just talk.” Ranboo said. “I’m pretty tired.”

“I’d bet,” Purpled responded, and crawled over to where Ranboo huddled. “So, a phantom is an undead creature, which is kinda concerning, but that’s why I look like I need some rest. It can fly, and in worlds where they aren’t banned, they show up when someone hasn’t slept in three days, which is why I have characteristics that center around sleep. They don’t like daylight, which is why Punz gets a headache from sunlight, I guess. Uhh…”

Ranboo leaned his head on Purpled’s shoulder and sighed. “Continue.”

“I will. Oh, my eyes glow. I don’t know why, but it might be because there’s something to do with invisibility potions don’t work on their eyes? I don’t know, I wasn’t really listening when Phil talked about it. They’re apparently the fastest mob, so that’s why Punz is fast, uh, what else… you getting sleepy there?”

Ranboo hummed. 

Purpled went on. “Oh, elytras are made of phantom membrane. Since you can only get elytras from the End, I guess that’s why I found the portal.”

Almost asleep, Ranboo frowned. “Don’t go to the End. It’s not nice.”

“Not nice?”

“No. The creatures don’t like me, but the void does, I think.”

Purpled frowned too. “The void?”

“Yeah. The void talks to me. She calls herself Death, but I don’t believe it. She was mad at Phil.”

“Yeah?” Purpled asked, and it’s clear he doesn’t really believe Ranboo. “Death and you had a chat?”

“Mhmm. She said she had to stop. She was nice, though.”

“Don’t go chatting with death.” Purpled said softly, as Ranboo started to drift asleep. “I want you to stay alive, okay?”

Ranboo nodded, but he was asleep a few seconds later, leaving Purpled alone with his thoughts.

If he was part of an undead mob, and Death was a real being, hypothetically, would he be able to talk to her? Purpled ended up deciding it was a question for another day, because it wasn’t really his problem. Death would show herself eventually, if she was mad at Phil, poor guy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how yall doing? anything else you want in this?

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [A Break from the Chaos](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29966583) by [Shadow_Smith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow_Smith/pseuds/Shadow_Smith)




End file.
